Just let her know that I'm filing for divorce tomorrow. She said she wishes we could work it out but she understands. She said "You're a great person. I am not."
My god this hurts. Even with the horrific images in my head of them together, the pain of flushing the last 12 years of my life (courtship + marriage) is unreal. I'm going to miss her so much. I know better days are ahead for me, but this is just awful. I always thought she was too good to be true. Turns out I was right.
Just let her know that I'm filing for divorce tomorrow. She said she wishes we could work it out but she understands. She said "You're a great person. I am not."
My god this hurts. Even with the horrific images in my head of them together, the pain of flushing the last 12 years of my life (courtship + marriage) is unreal. I'm going to miss her so much. I know better days are ahead for me, but this is just awful. I always thought she was too good to be true. Turns out I was right.
Hang strong man -- no one said this will be easy no matter what was done !!
Be prepared for the desperate attempts to get you back. I predict you'll have at least one tearful confrontation, one her showing up in the middle of the night throwing herself at you, and one "let's just meet for sex because I miss you so" moment.
Just let her know that I'm filing for divorce tomorrow. She said she wishes we could work it out but she understands. She said "You're a great person. I am not."
My god this hurts. Even with the horrific images in my head of them together, the pain of flushing the last 12 years of my life (courtship + marriage) is unreal. I'm going to miss her so much. I know better days are ahead for me, but this is just awful. I always thought she was too good to be true. Turns out I was right.
BFF
I believe in Karma too! I have seen firsthand what Karma brings to these selfish individuals.
But their selfish actions still do not prevent us from feeling their pain. Because sadly, we still love them.
You are doing the right thing.
Go meet with your attorney and set the wheels in motion.
In a few weeks you will begin to realize just how good it will feel to have this burden off your shoulders.
And in time you find someone that is too good to be true.
It happened for me and it will happen for you.
For now, heal, take care of yourself and take care of business!
Oh, forgot to mention the boundaries of the various stages of grief are not clearly defined. You can get a mixture of stages at the same time.
No kidding. It's been 8 months since dday and 3 months since final divorce decree and I still cycle through the various stages. Fortunately, I spend 90% of my time in the acceptance stage.
But, that being said, I am holding my head high. I just went for a walk on the beach, and I'm looking around thinking how much I have to be thankful for. I'm only 43. I'm healthy. I have the love and support of my family. I have great friends who are have already been and will be there for me through all this. I have a great career and a stable financial position. I WILL be OK. I'm getting a chance to start again and find someone who appreciates me and wants MY love. This really is the first day of my new life. Posted via Mobile Device
BFF, you are indeed a lucky man. Your thread, like Shamwow's will be an inspiration to many other betrayed spouses for years to come. Also, how many people get to go for walks on the beach while not on vacation?
Believe me, things will get better. To quote one of my favorite singers: 'That which doesn't kill you only makes your stronger.' Good luck!
Just let her know that I'm filing for divorce tomorrow. She said she wishes we could work it out but she understands. She said "You're a great person. I am not."
I almost laughed myself outta my chair when I read this! Well! That just makes everything okay then! All those years of marriage and this is her idea of being contrite?
Doesn't sound like someone fighting to save her marriage to me. It sounds like someone who is relieved to be over and done with it all. The fact that she has not come over to the old house in person to see you and look you in the eye and tell you why she did what she did and what she is willing to do to get you back also says alot about how "sorry" she is.
bff, when she said all this was she crying? Did she seem honestly sad? Or was she talking to you like a business partner getting ready to sell all her shares of the company to you?
I hate to say it, but W will walk away with about half a million before any spousal support, which I'll probably have to pay for 5 years. Posted via Mobile Device
BFF, it's only money and you will make it back tenfold. I consider the $150K that my ex got in the divorce settlement money well spent. I would undoubtedly have spent more in the future supporting her, taking her on exotic trips, buying new cars, etc. It's a small price for peace of mind.
She not only was screwing some guy she just had to go to the new house and do him in their new bed. There's no chance you can get back with somebody like that.
The fvcked up thing is that she probably christened the new house with OM before she did with BFF.
I almost laughed myself outta my chair when I read this! Well! That just makes everything okay then! All those years of marriage and this is her idea of being contrite?
For bff's wife, that might have been a sudden realisation. The fact that she has been faced with the consequences of her behaviour could have been like a dash of cold water to her face.
The discovery that you are, indeed, not the person you thought you were can be a painful one.
The reason why she was able to claim it was just a ONS years ago was because that was, indeed, how it began. But when she realised that bff had not noticed that she and his best friend had strayed, when she believed it had not affected bff and her marriage, had, she foolishly believed, actually made it stronger, she and bff's best friend had another ONS. And another and another until it became a regular thing.
She and best friend probably comforted themselves that bff must, really, know what was happening but that he was keeping quiet about it so as not to rock the boat. They mistook bff's trust in his wife and in his best friend as acquiescence and acceptance of their sexual relationship.
With the sharing of drinks, etc., it is clear that the wife and best friend actually had some romantic feelings for each other. That was perhaps why they spent so much time together. At some level they felt like a married couple together.
Just let her know that I'm filing for divorce tomorrow. She said she wishes we could work it out but she understands. She said "You're a great person. I am not."
My god this hurts. Even with the horrific images in my head of them together, the pain of flushing the last 12 years of my life (courtship + marriage) is unreal. I'm going to miss her so much. I know better days are ahead for me, but this is just awful. I always thought she was too good to be true. Turns out I was right.
I must admit that I did not read your entire thread but enough to know that you are detaching and moving on. You are on the right track.
If your wife truly loves for you, then she should waive all her rights to your properties and money.
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Re: wife and best friend having (at least) an EA 
Well! That just makes everything okay then! All those years of marriage and this is her idea of being contrite? 
