I woudln't feel guilty about coming here unless you are here for shady reasons (IE: picking someone up, starting an EA, etc).
People need other people to sound things off from. This is almost like an interactive journal. You write what you're feeling and you get feedback. I can't see how it would be harmful to a relationship if you're using it the right way -- to help your marriage, which basically benefits your spouse. if you vent here, just try to keep it at a level that wouldn't hurt your spouse is he/she was to find it and read it. In time, you can maybe tell your spouse the things you say here...but until then, get the tools you need to better communicate and use it in your marriage.
Now, if you are divorcing or separated, then it's really none of your spouse's business, imo.
I, personally, would rather my husband talk to a bunch of strangers to get LOTS of viewpoints...than talk to friends and family about our issues and get biased advice.....and then those people will see you and know all your crap. lol. But that's just me.
I, personally, would rather my husband talk to a bunch of strangers to get LOTS of viewpoints...than talk to friends and family about our issues and get biased advice.....and then those people will see you and know all your crap. lol. But that's just me.
Exactly! Anonymous advice from people who know nothing about you or the relationship.
__________________
"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~ Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~
That you have an account on talkaboutmarriage?
Mine doesn't..
Yes. He knows. He knows my posting name. He can read whatever I write here. I don't mind. In fact, sometimes I bounce an answer off him before I post then days later, he asks me if anyone "liked" it.
Yes. He knows. He knows my posting name. He can read whatever I write here. I don't mind. In fact, sometimes I bounce an answer off him before I post then days later, he asks me if anyone "liked" it.
From such a simple question it may seem like something innocent but in all actuality it's the little things that we hide from our spouses that tend to get the ball rolling into bigger things! Transparency is what your relationship is lacking. Although you have no problem acknowledging that you are having marital issues, admitting a problem is always the first step to recovery. But when you feel the need to reach out to others instead of your spouse for suggestions or advice then it's clear that the communication is a problem with you two. How can one know what's wrong if they aren't talking to the other person. How can one begin to fix something they may not see as broken in the first place? Let them know you have this account, this may spark conversation from them behind the question WHY? And that may set the stage for healthy and much needed dialogue.
Now my veiw is this, Me not telling him is benicial because of the progress I have made toward the recovery, not my marriage, BUT FOR MYSELF.... it is a postive thing, unlike the despetion he did.. At least my deception (if you can call it that) is done that has a benifical outcome.. POSITIVITY is a good thing
I tell myself that nothing I have posted here is a secret. I have posted nothing that she does not already know, so that makes it OK. But still I kind of feel like I am cheating because I don't think I would want her to see what I have written.
I also keep a journal. I really don't think I could ever let her see that, and I feel kind of guilty about that as well because my primary goal is to tear down the walls between us, yet I maintain my own walls.
Since I'm engaged in a somewhat contentious divorce proceeding and have been separated from STBXW for some 14 months now, I'm taking it that she doesn't have a clue about my TAM activity. And I would greatly prefer that it stay that way.
But if she were to amble upon this site and start reading some of my posts, and while remaining in a somewhat autonomus state, it would probably only serve to remind herself about the courses of action that she so aptly took in helping to destroy the ends of our relationship.
At this juncture, she doesn't even have a clue that I know about both of her "boyfriends" that she had while I was living under the same roof with her, and I would prefer that this stays that way until the actual litigatory process starts!
I don't remember what that was about. Might have reminded me of the several times my wife assured me of nc. I think I thought your post was funny. And not accidentally.
73Likes
Re: does your spouse know 
