It's all water over the bridge now and it's uncool to beat a dead horse, but why in the hell would you stand still for your wife joining the Army, especially since you yourself knew the score? From what I hear from the youngsters, I don't think women in the military have really changed that much since the 70's, what with the human nature aspect of young, horny men and women thrown together in a stressful environment, if you get my drift? Your wife's actions would seem to confirm that.
Ok.... First, we have never (to my knowledge) had any of these problems before.. We were happily married.. Ups and downs of course, but very happily married.. Great sex life, an incredible son, etc.. We had it all going for us. After I got out of the Army in 2009, We were both working somewhat of dead end jobs.. Our son had just turned 2 when she joined (earlier this year).. And we did it to better ourselves as a family.. She is very smart, she got a great job, and was doing great... Anyway, like I said before, Once I got out of the Army, we didnt really party, or do anything like that anymore.. We had a kid.. So that is why I said she is being sucked back into the lifestyle that she WAS in(before she met me).. With regards to me "knowing the score" WE were married.. We didnt go out with all the single guys.. We lived 30 minutes from the base.. All the "partying" we did was mostly with other married couples.. And I use the word partying loosely.. It was anywhere from beers on the beach, to nights at the bar, to BBQ's at the house.. So with that being said, yes, I knew how the single Army lifestyle was, but was not involved in it. Hope that kind of clears that up.
Take your child, get out of Texas, nothing there for you now. Florida or Michigan. Your wife is in for a sh!t storm and a life full of regrets. Cut her loose and let consequence deal with her. If you go with either parent they will help with your son (second parent), nothing wrong with that. I vote Florida. Michigan will be b!tch in the winter with a 2 year old, and expensive with winter clothes, and time consuming winterizing him every day. Florida he can run in a bathing suit all year long. You'll find a good lady easily. Your wife prefers the skank life, that is until she wakes up. When she gets thrown out the army, she will try to R with you, to be provided for. No problem taking the boy now. But you must act before she wises up and gets a restraining order, so you can't take him out of state. Good luck.
Ya. I agree. We are originally from Michigan, so we know what its like.. Our son was born , in January, so yes, we know how winter is.. But I have family in both states. So a of right now, I am planning a short trip to Michigan, then come back here and pack everything up, and move to Florida.. I have been wanting to move to Florida, and go to school , which the Army pays for. So I figured now is the perfect time.. Thanks for the input.. Posted via Mobile Device
Ok, so here is a little update on my STBXW... I asked her yesterday, when the last time she talked to OM was... She flat out told me, "last week sometime." Even though this just happened last week. So I asked her again, and she said they have been talking all week. So the whole NC thing, doesnt exist in her book of scripts... After that conversation, she started with the whole, "I still care, but because you dont care, then I dont care, so if you want to work things out, I want to move back in and work them out." Uhh, no... Not going to happen. I have been asking her questions, and reading her, to see how much she actually cares, and wants to R... But she obviously doesnt.. Or she is so deep in a fog, that she has no clue how to handle this. Then this morning, she texted me and said, "This is totally up to you of course, but I want to go to counseling. I think that will help." I just told her no. Yesterday, I also tried to come up with a logical and fair agreement with the truck. I told her I would keep it during the week, when I have our son, then on the weekend, when she can come get him, she can take it.. She wanted nothing to do with that. Its her truck, so she is keeping it. She told me to get a cab if I needed to go anywhere... Ya, I am going to go grocery shopping with a 2 year old in a cab...
Ok, so here is a little update on my STBXW... I asked her yesterday, when the last time she talked to OM was... She flat out told me, "last week sometime." Even though this just happened last week. So I asked her again, and she said they have been talking all week. So the whole NC thing, doesnt exist in her book of scripts... After that conversation, she started with the whole, "I still care, but because you dont care, then I dont care, so if you want to work things out, I want to move back in and work them out." Uhh, no... Not going to happen. I have been asking her questions, and reading her, to see how much she actually cares, and wants to R... But she obviously doesnt.. Or she is so deep in a fog, that she has no clue how to handle this. Then this morning, she texted me and said, "This is totally up to you of course, but I want to go to counseling. I think that will help." I just told her no. Yesterday, I also tried to come up with a logical and fair agreement with the truck. I told her I would keep it during the week, when I have our son, then on the weekend, when she can come get him, she can take it.. She wanted nothing to do with that. Its her truck, so she is keeping it. She told me to get a cab if I needed to go anywhere... Ya, I am going to go grocery shopping with a 2 year old in a cab...
Dang thats tough. Seems shes really really deep in the fog. Reality will hit her of what she lost before she dies. Where do you get your money to buy groceries? Do you both share bank accounts?
I get a check from VA.. I broke my back in the Army, and got medically discharged... Its not enough to live off of, or support anything, but at this specific time, it helps. But no, we dont share bank accounts.. I do have access to hers though, well did.. So last week, I took half of the money out of my sons savings account, and she told me she is going to file a police report because I stole money from her.. So anyway, I have some money.. Not much, but I do have some. I also have some things in MI to keep me busy and get some more money together.
And just to be clear, the broken back has nothing to do with any of this... I am ok now. I never had any problems, marital or "sexual" problems because of it... I mean ya, I had to take a break in the bedroom for a while, but everything was fine. It was not an issue that is relevant to this, or my marriage at all.
Keep up your current position. You're doing everything right. Best thing is to live well and start enjoying the little things in life again. Take your son camping, read a good book, take lessons for no reason, get that motor finished so you can roll again!
I wouldn't reconcile either...she bl3w some dude in a truck (sorry to be blunt, but it is what happened, and shows absolute lack of respect for you). She made her feelings for you clear.
Take care of yourself and appreciate the good things you have. You've already done the right thing in surgically removing the malignant growth in your life...it will be hard but she will fade from your thoughts. Posted via Mobile Device
Keep up your current position. You're doing everything right. Best thing is to live well and start enjoying the little things in life again. Take your son camping, read a good book, take lessons for no reason, get that motor finished so you can roll again!
I wouldn't reconcile either...she bl3w some dude in a truck (sorry to be blunt, but it is what happened, and shows absolute lack of respect for you). She made her feelings for you clear.
Take care of yourself and appreciate the good things you have. You've already done the right thing in surgically removing the malignant growth in your life...it will be hard but she will fade from your thoughts. Posted via Mobile Device
Thanks! Ya, I am definitly standing my ground on all of this, and no need to be sorry for being blunt, It happened, and is the reason for all this.. If people were constantly beating around the bush, and candy coating things, I dont think this website would be what it is today.. I am trying to do everything I can to put my mind on vacation.. And yes, it is extremely hard, but I am doing my best at it.
Thanks! Ya, I am definitly standing my ground on all of this, and no need to be sorry for being blunt, It happened, and is the reason for all this.. If people were constantly beating around the bush, and candy coating things, I dont think this website would be what it is today.. I am trying to do everything I can to put my mind on vacation.. And yes, it is extremely hard, but I am doing my best at it.
Thats great to hear, you seem to have a good handle on the rough road. Sometimes I wish spouses would leave the betrayal etc for the soap operas.
Stop drinking!! It will help you to control your temper, plus, if you are going to D, you need to keep your wits about you. Contact her CO. and explain the situation to him/her. GET A LAWYER, IMMEDIATELY!! Use your time well, document the affair, and if the OM is married or has a GF expose him, in fact, expose the affair to everybody. This is just for starters.
Ok, so here is a little update on my STBXW... I asked her yesterday, when the last time she talked to OM was... She flat out told me, "last week sometime." Even though this just happened last week. So I asked her again, and she said they have been talking all week. So the whole NC thing, doesnt exist in her book of scripts... After that conversation, she started with the whole, "I still care, but because you dont care, then I dont care, so if you want to work things out, I want to move back in and work them out." Uhh, no... Not going to happen. I have been asking her questions, and reading her, to see how much she actually cares, and wants to R... But she obviously doesnt.. Or she is so deep in a fog, that she has no clue how to handle this. Then this morning, she texted me and said, "This is totally up to you of course, but I want to go to counseling. I think that will help." I just told her no. Yesterday, I also tried to come up with a logical and fair agreement with the truck. I told her I would keep it during the week, when I have our son, then on the weekend, when she can come get him, she can take it.. She wanted nothing to do with that. Its her truck, so she is keeping it. She told me to get a cab if I needed to go anywhere... Ya, I am going to go grocery shopping with a 2 year old in a cab...
Nevermind what she says. Take note of what she does.
If she truly wanted to reconcile with you, she would make it abundantly clear. She would be obsessed with trying to make things up to you, she would maintain no contact, she would agree to lend you the car, she wouldn't be out partying, etc.
Your wife is a cake-eater, and she is trying to guilt you into a false reconciliation by bullsh*tting you. "I can't R if you don't want it. I can't R if I'm not living with you at home. I can't R because France lost the Olympic basketball game," etc.
It's all nonsense she spews to get a rise out of you. She's trying to manipulate you into reacting in a way that's favorable to her. In her mind, you were supposed to say, "Yes I do want R! Please, come home, so we can work on it! I love you, and want to give you another chance! Let me lick your boots clean, too, while we're at it!"
Good. Shoot her down. Right now, she's partying with friends and continuing her affair with her lover. Fine. Let her. Eventually, she will want to get serious with him, and in all likelihood he'll drop her like a hot potato. He wants to f*ck her, after all, not take care of her. She'll come to realize then that she made a stupid choice, and she threw away her marriage and got nothing of value for her sacrifice.
All the while, you'll have moved on. You'll be over her, probably starting up a new relationship with a woman who can appreciate you. You may very well be chilling on the beach, sipping a piņa colada under the sun with her and your son, while your ex-wife leaves desperate voicemails on your phone that you'll delete without a second thought.
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Re: Wife of 7 years cheated on me 
