How to file? Lawyer says no fault is cheaper and he won't let me spend thousands more on an adultery file. I live in NYC where both apply. STBXH will probably have to pay some or all of my costs anyway.
BUT, why should he get away with no fault - when there is fault? I would like to drag the witch OW into it, too.
They are living together in a one bed apartment - can't really deny it.
Sorry if this thread should be somewhere else - not sure, happy to move it if so.
Any advise much appreciated, you have all been fantastic and helped me immensely. I live thousands of miles away from my family and friends and have no support network.....
How to file? Lawyer says no fault is cheaper and he won't let me spend thousands more on an adultery file. I live in NYC where both apply. STBXH will probably have to pay some or all of my costs anyway.
BUT, why should he get away with no fault - when there is fault? I would like to drag the witch OW into it, too.
They are living together in a one bed apartment - can't really deny it.
Sorry if this thread should be somewhere else - not sure, happy to move it if so.
Any advise much appreciated, you have all been fantastic and helped me immensely. I live thousands of miles away from my family and friends and have no support network.....
If you do not care about getting 50 percent of the marital assists then file Fault.
I am filing fault. I want it on the divorce records that my STBEH cheated and I don't want the ambiguous irreconcilable differences which may imply that I cheated.
If it's on the record my STBEH can't lie about it.
My STBEH likes to be seen as a nice guy. He is not, and everyone needs to know that.
That's exactly how I feel. Would that mean I wouldn't get 50% of assets? NY is an equitable distribution state, so I may well be entitled to more than 50%
you're the client, while it certainly sounds as if financially it would be better for no fault the decision is yours to make if the money isn't important
if your lawyer still refuses then get another one who will
just get aggressive with him and state that you understand what he is telling you and that regardless of that advice that you are a set on filing for adultery
How to file? Lawyer says no fault is cheaper and he won't let me spend thousands more on an adultery file. I live in NYC where both apply. STBXH will probably have to pay some or all of my costs anyway.
BUT, why should he get away with no fault - when there is fault? I would like to drag the witch OW into it, too.
They are living together in a one bed apartment - can't really deny it.
Sorry if this thread should be somewhere else - not sure, happy to move it if so.
Any advise much appreciated, you have all been fantastic and helped me immensely. I live thousands of miles away from my family and friends and have no support network.....
The reason that filing for adultery is more expensive is that, when you file for "cause", you need proof. In some cases, the evidence gathered isn't enough to prove anything, OR the WW denies the allegations forcing proof, or depositions need to be taken under oath. A "no fault" requires none of the above.
The end result in filing for adultery is having the reason put on the record, and, although you are entitled to "50% of the marital assets", sometimes that would mean that you get "your pick" of what 50% you want. Just for an example, if you own two homes which are valued the same, you get the pick of the one you want. It takes some choice away from your WS.
So yes, I would recommend you file under adultery so that you gain control over what you want, you expose the reason for the breakup of your marriage, and you can walk away knowing that the truth is out there.
Yep I want them all to be accountable. Sod the cost. Filthy pair. My husband said he didn't want it to get messy, but guess what he made his cheating bed and can lie in it! Posted via Mobile Device
Yep I want them all to be accountable. Sod the cost. Filthy pair. My husband said he didn't want it to get messy, but guess what he made his cheating bed and can lie in it! Posted via Mobile Device
That's exactly how I feel. Would that mean I wouldn't get 50% of assets? NY is an equitable distribution state, so I may well be entitled to more than 50%
No. YOu will still get 50 percent of the assets but after the legal bills are paid.
Fault costs far more to settle than does no fault.
I don't care at this point.
If you do, then you should file no fault.
In my state a wife married for a long time gets permanent alimony that is only rescinded if the wife remarries or if she wins the lottery and then it is reconsidered and reexamined and often ended.
Of course they don't want it to get messy. The messier it is the more people will know about the cheating.
I am also afraid my STBEH will claim I cheated. He is already accusing me of it. I have not and will not.
My best friend was going to go with adultery but it just kept dragging out and costing thousands of dollars. She eventually caved and just went with no fault. After a year she had already moved on and it just wasn't worth it anymore (her words not mine).
My best friend was going to go with adultery but it just kept dragging out and costing thousands of dollars. She eventually caved and just went with no fault. After a year she had already moved on and it just wasn't worth it anymore (her words not mine).
Everyone is different.
If you go in knowing it will drag on and cost a lot, then you will be happy with that choice.
If you go in knowing it will drag on and cost a lot, then you will be happy with that choice.
Yes.
Another story. My SIL's husband cheated. Again the divorce dragged on and on costing thousands of dollars. After a year she just wanted him gone so she just agreed to the no fault divorce.
The common denominator in both of my stories is both men contested the terms of the divorce which made it get ugly FAST. Contested = lots of money regardless of the cause put on the papers.
I understand but if he is living with her in a one bedroom apartment I don't think he has a leg to stand on?!
Also her brother helped them find the place he is a witness. Plus a friend of his knows about it and has been out with them so I can't see him denying it. If he does it's money he will end up paying out of his share, right? As he will have to pay some or all of my costs? Thanks for the help I'm so righteous about this as he is denying to people and telling them I'm paranoid and crazy. That is so unfair and it will at least set the record straight and vindicate me I feel Posted via Mobile Device
19Likes
Adultery or no fault? 
