BrokenTrust

How do you decide on which marriage counselor to choose from? What are some of the things to look for when you are searching? This will be our first time with a counselor and I don't want to start with one that we will regret.

Country Girl

Good question. I'll provide you with an interesting answer. My best counselor has been one that I selected from The Yellow Pages completely at random. We just clicked and everything has been wonderful. The counselors before this one were recommended by others. They just didn't work for me. Just remember you can try a therapist and move on to another one if you don't connect.

voivod

interview them...

question 1: how do you measure success?

when he/she hems and haws around, move on.

they MUST quantify success!!!!

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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.


4 kids g18, g12, g11, b7

Blanca

the first counselor my H got, i sincerely regretted. I wanted to call the guy up and give him a piece of my mind. but he did help my H in a lot of ways.

I have never found a counselor id stick with. but that doesnt mean they havent been helpful. all the counselors ive had just wanted me to talk. that's just enabling and festering in my opinion. i understand the importance of getting it out in the open, but that only helps to a point. I like a counselor that actually gives you something to do, something to learn and work on. i read a quote once that said, thought without work is insanity, and work without thought is stupidity. so there's a happy medium in there some where.

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"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

me&my3

Do you or your spouse have a EAP program at your work? That is how we found ours. We were given a list of a few names to start, called their offices, checked their websites, even their availability was a factor in our decision. Sometimes it is just a matter of luck- such as the previous post mentioning their phone book find. My experience with counselors is that it is often a gut feeling sort of decision- you'll know after a couple of sessions when you have one that you have 'chemistry' with.