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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 08-04-2012, 01:39 PM   #31 (permalink)
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I do what I think are the things a good husband would do. I cook, I do dishes, laundry, clean etc. I search message boards on how to make a marriage work to make sure I am doing the right things and not making my wife NOT want to be w/ me physically.
You must have been reading some womanized board. There is a lot more than that to being a "good husband", that i'm going to interpret as a guy a woman wants to be with, instead of a "good husband" who does as he is told while his wife cheats on him.

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He does not seem like my wife's type at 1st. Kind of chubby and out of shape. I usually would not be worried about this guy taking any girl away from me (we have been friends for 15 yrs. and has not happened). But he has an attitude that comes off as tough even though he couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag! (sorry, I'm upset) And I have recently started to think my wife is very attracted to that kind of attitude (I am more of a gentle giant).
See my avatar? Here, let me magnify for you:



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Old 08-04-2012, 01:55 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by 40isthenew20 View Post
The first thing I would do is knock the snot out of your "friend." challenge him on why he is having these long cell conversations with your wife. It'll be easier to get the truth out of him (especially if you knock a few of his teeth out first) then yor wife, who will be tap dancing around everything with excuses.

My friends and I have always lived by the belief that you do not mess with each others family members, current wife/girlfriend or exes. This fat boy of yours apparently could care less about you or your relationship.

One question - did you ever confide to him that she was texting,etc her ex? If do, then it appears to me that he targeted her knowing that she may be open to an extramarital affair. Even scarier...

NO VIOLENCE! This is a crazy idea!
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Old 08-04-2012, 02:10 PM   #33 (permalink)
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I am very sorry about all of this nonsense with your wife & that your heart is breaking but the good news is you are still young with no children.

Serial cheating is a marriage buster right up there with abuse.
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Old 08-04-2012, 02:19 PM   #34 (permalink)
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From what you told us about your your wife and her past, something tells me she has entittlement issues. She can do what ever she wants and gets what ever she wants. She has learned to manage you just like she has managed her parent as a youth.

So my point is her cheating is just something she has the right to do, sure its wrong but when you do get better proof (like the VAR or a PI) you will get the blame shifting that comes with this kind of women.

Some times even a smoking gun isn't good enough...deniel is powerful, and thinking the unthinkable is tough. So for your own good you need to get to the bottom of this.

You diserve good things and it so appearant that your are not happy and this chick is bringing out the worst in you.

I hope you don't have kids, this is not the kind of women that you want to grow old with. She seems broken and sure she can get help but will she...will she ever?

Even to save her marriage? I have my doubts! See I don't think this is the kind of women that will change your bed pan when your old and bed ridden. I think you diserve better.

So, please spend some dough and get the evidence that will give you the confidence to make the next dicision for the next stage of your life. You owe that to your self.....
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Old 08-04-2012, 02:35 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I cook, I do dishes, laundry, clean etc. I search message boards on how to make a marriage work to make sure I am doing the right things and not making my wife NOT want to be w/ me physically.
How's that working for you? All you need to add to, "I cook, I do dishes, laundry, clean etc." is "allowing her to lay up on her lard azz talking to other guys". I've got news for you Tex; women who love, respect, and have a sexual interest in their old man don't lay around talking to other guys while only working a cigarette. "Gentle Giants" in aprons asking, "what else can I do for you my queen" get cheated on and left holding the bag. Some of us need to talk to you.
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Old 08-04-2012, 02:38 PM   #36 (permalink)
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"Gentle Giants" in aprons asking, "what else can I do for you my queen" get cheated on and left holding the bag. Some of us need to talk to you.
I genuinely burst out laughing at this.
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Old 08-04-2012, 05:55 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Kick his A$$ or back him down in a harsh way in front of your wife and see if your wife doesn't come running back.

Go outside with her when she smokes.

You are kind of slow on the uptake. You don't do a good job of watching your business.
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:12 PM   #38 (permalink)
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You must have been reading some womanized board. There is a lot more than that to being a "good husband", that i'm going to interpret as a guy a woman wants to be with, instead of a "good husband" who does as he is told while his wife cheats on him.



See my avatar? Here, let me magnify for you:



Do you get it?
I just want to hug that big dog.
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:14 PM   #39 (permalink)
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How's that working for you? All you need to add to, "I cook, I do dishes, laundry, clean etc." is "allowing her to lay up on her lard azz talking to other guys". I've got news for you Tex; women who love, respect, and have a sexual interest in their old man don't lay around talking to other guys while only working a cigarette. "Gentle Giants" in aprons asking, "what else can I do for you my queen" get cheated on and left holding the bag. Some of us need to talk to you.
Do you assume that doing dishes, laundry and cleaning is women's work. Today most women work. Thus there is no woman's work vs men's work.
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:30 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Do you assume that doing dishes, laundry and cleaning is women's work. Today most women work. Thus there is no woman's work vs men's work.
That's your cortex talking. Most female cortex's agree with yours. Unfortunately, female sexual attraction is run from the "hindbrain," and the hindbrain has a very different opinion.
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:33 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Default Re: Has she cheated or not?

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Kick his A$$ or back him down in a harsh way in front of your wife and see if your wife doesn't come running back.

Go outside with her when she smokes.

You are kind of slow on the uptake. You don't do a good job of watching your business.

I couldn't have said it better myself!
This nasty POS coming in YOUR house , encouraging YOUR wife to chain smoke with him,sneaking around and trying to get into her pants IN YOUR HOUSE?
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:55 PM   #42 (permalink)
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That's your cortex talking. Most female cortex's agree with yours. Unfortunately, female sexual attraction is run from the "hindbrain," and the hindbrain has a very different opinion.
A large portion of people don't embrace physical and psychological dimorphism under a misguided notion of egalitarianism. Of course, those who do accept it tend to propagate specific gender roles, resulting in the proverbial, 'LOL, you're a househusband' situation.
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:59 PM   #43 (permalink)
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What sucks is when he stands up to OM he will look like the bad guy in his WW eyes. {in a winy voice} "we're just friends"

I'm all for a good ass kicking, just have the proof to back it up. Or if you catch them red handed.

There are to many red flags here...she cheating!

Set up some cams and some VARS and then you can handle it and confront both of them...just make sure you are built for some jail time if you kick his butt.
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Old 08-04-2012, 07:07 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Ok, the cold hard truth. You are hubby, security, future. In other words, the PAYCHECK. YES she was doing him in the bathroom while you was gone. In your home. Friends ?? Read bff thread of wifey and BEST friend, he just confirmed. Read is my wife cheating, by another BS, scumbag om sounds like your friend, chubby and got nothing going on. She know there is no future with them, but like the thrill of cheating. So she do it with scum she won't be leaving her security for.

BUT, why do you keep giving this woman the power to play you ?? Are you so desparate you can't find a better woman ??
You ae young enough to start over with the real thing, once you dump this serial cheater. And make no mistake, she is just that.
You may even get her to stop, but once the kids come, sooner or later she will cheat again. So you will be back here again.

So here is what you do. 1. Don't confront again. Get the VARS and catch her. 2. Expose her to everyone near and far. 3.Try to act as if you still have no inkling she is cheating, then bring her world crashing down.
I TRULY hope you are not so caught up in this fantasy life you want with her, that you are took weak to accept this and take her back.
At your age, you got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it trying to fix the unfixable,,, HER.
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Old 08-04-2012, 07:16 PM   #45 (permalink)
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@!Jordan, what the hell did you just say?
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