Nikki1023

Ok..so some of you might remember my story..some might not. Here's a little summary:

My husband is Active Duty Marines. He went to Japan for duty..ALONE without me and the kids. He cheats ( claims it was a kiss) And the female cries fowl so her name wouldn't be tarnished. After 7 months of a LONG awaited trial, my husband being viewed and shamed as if he was a rapist, the time finally came in April. After 5 days of Trial..it took the Jury ONE hour to deliberate..Not Guilty. Her lies were so prominent, and they knew she was full of SO much crap...that they dismissed his "Attempt to fraternize" charge. SO after 7 months of nervousness and aggravation and hurt..it is ALL finally over. But its been almost 4 months and we are trying SO hard to work on our marriage.

It SICKENS me how someone could do something like that to another person. Especially seeing how there was an entire family involved. Unfortunately they will NOT be trying her on her 12..yes 12 COUNTS of perjury..because they dont want actual victims to be afraid of coming forward.

So the financial and emotional whirlwind of trial has been over. But I am STILL on edge and am hesitant with our future. The end of this month will be ONE year that he has stopped drinking. He is showing how hard he is trying to be a better man..but its hard for me to let go of the past.

Any advice or insight on how I could possibly move forward would be appreciated. We are going to start counseling, hopefully next week.

Chris989

I can't offer much insight on your situation as I am not sure I fully understand what you have gone through.

As far as counselling goes, be careful that you choose a counsellor that will not rug sweep on behalf of your WW. That is a mistake I (we?) made straight away and, having just recovered from the shock of DD I only just realised that our joint counsellor is a major league rug sweeper - her favourite phrase is "that is what happens in affairs Chris" and then she moves the subject on.

So, good luck and it's great to see someone trying and succeeding at R. I admire you for it.

__________________
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself"
- Groucho Marx

My story (well, what I knew at the time ): http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...tml#post878589

Nikki1023

Thank you! I appreciate your well wishes..IM trying to make R a priority..it gets hard at times as we all know.

Good luck to you as well.

DawnD

Would it make you feel better if you could sit down, write a letter and explain how much hurt and pain he caused? At some point, I think we as the BS's need to just get it all out and feel like our WS understands completely and without a doubt the devastation they caused their family/spouse. Do you feel that he fully comprehends all that he has done? Are you having any doubts that he may not have been completely truthful to you? Do you still have questions you feel need to be answered?