My wife and I have been together for 6 years. Our relationship started rocky. She was dating my best friend and left him to be with me. She bounced back and forth between us for about a year until I put ny foot down. All games stopped and we had a great relationship for 6 years. Been maried for 2.5 yrs. I have neen dealing with some depression problems. I have had a short temper and quick to judge.
7 weeks ago I noticed she started to distance herself from me. Noticed her phone never left her side. I was niave and didn't say anything. I started to act very clingy, she would not have sex. One night after cuddling on the coach watching a movie we decided we would go to bed. While in laying in bed she says "I want a divorce. Im not happy and have not been happy for awhile." I was shocked and hurt freaked out and started asking lots of questions to try and rationalize it.
Fast forward 4 weeks we talked most nights said she would move back twice and had an excuse both times. We started marriage counseling and things seemed hopeful at first. Then during one session she said she was done. She said she was going to turn the divorce paperwork in that following monday. I did not talk to her for 7much days at that point. I finally decided to dig. Pulled phone records and found she was been talking to an ex boyfriend. Not the one she left me for, before him. He was her first then he cheated on her and they broke up. I confronted her about it that night. She admitted to it and apologized. Said it started because she was trying to find closure from thier separation.
She called me back 20 minutes or so later and wanted to talk. We talked about any and everything. Felt real good. Then she started sending me texts and said she wanted to keep this between us. Only person she had to explain herself to was me she said. Said she did it to get attention from me. Said she does not want to be with him.
Next day I get a couple more random good morning how are you messages. Then a call around noon she was excited to tell me about a new job she thinks she night get.
I think all might be turning around.
Next day samething. Then she calls me that night. Says she hasnt come back because she has hurt for to long. Said she does not want a relationship at all at this point. Not with me not with him. Said she wants to focus on her self and go back to school.
I brike down, took all the blame and left it at that. She told me she still loved me and had imagined spending tbe rest of her life with me until now.
I havent talked to her in 4 days again. She changed the cell phone service password so I can not view the call logs.
I am having a hard time letting go. I still feel like it could work.
8 months ago we moved into a new house we had built together. Weeks before she sprung the d word on me we were talking about having a child together.
She moved to her parents house the day after she sprung the I want a divorce. 6 weeks ago, only thing she took was her clothes. She has been back to get some paperwork but that is it. She has a bunch of family sentimental stuff still here. Her mail also still comes here. She has also not filled the divorce paperwork.
I still have hopes of making it work, maybe I'm a fool. I just cant let go. Posted via Mobile Device
Call her parents, inform then your wife is seeing an old boyfriend and you consider it cheating seeing as you are still married.
next find the OM's wife/gf and expose it to her too.
See she played nice because she thought you were going to interfere with her cheating. She played nice to placate you. when it worked she reverted to her old ways.
I think you must let her go or better said let go of her, the only way you may have a chance in getting her back is if you detach and as much as it sound hard get yourself in an indifference state, any other emotion, (be perusing or being an a$$) you will feed her Emotional needs and will help her make a decision to eventually divorce you
you must do the completely opposite of what your heart is telling you to do
What Shaggy said is exactly what you should do. It's what I would do in your situation. Blow her infidelity up and expose her cheating to her family. Expose the OM to his girlfriend or wife, assuming he has one. Doing so will make it very difficult/uncomfortable for them to continue their affair.
Mike11 also has a point. You should be detaching from her, because your marriage is headed towards divorce. Work on yourself in the meantime. Focus on your work and hobbies and such.
As far as I know he is single now. After I confronted her about it she called her best friend. Her best friend chewed her ass for it. I was going to call her parents. My counselor told me not to yet. I have been anticipating her coming to get ger mail so I can try and act like I have moved on. We have had the same circle of friends for the last 6 years. All have cut her off, except for her best friend which still thinks she is out of her mind.
I am trying to detach and go about my own life. It is real hard, I get all these flashbacks of doing activities with her.
I have been updating my facebook with outings and such with friends to try and spark some jealously. Posted via Mobile Device
She wants to talk to her about it first. She has a solo session this week. Then I go back by myself on wednesday. She also said that it would look imature and that I was tattling. She said that would drive her further away because she asked me to keep quite. Posted via Mobile Device
yeah you a fool. If someone will do this before kids, why would you chance staying, having kids, only to have their lives ripped apart by this UNSTABLE person ?? The relationship was tainted from the get go. Almost incestious. You and best friend was doing her, but you gott stuck with her. She showed you what kind mof person she was by doing you both.
When we dated, old girlfriends was off limits to close friends after breakups. Especially best friends if there was a real relationship involved. She showed she had no boundries as well as you.
Now tell the truth, are you really surprised by this. haven't you been waiting all this time for the other shoe to drop ???
She wants to talk to her about it first. She has a solo session this week. Then I go back by myself on wednesday. She also said that it would look imature and that I was tattling. She said that would drive her further away because she asked me to keep quite. Posted via Mobile Device
Get a new counselor.
ETA: If you want to do anything that produces results you also have to be willing to "drive her further away"- which is just rationalization for cheaters.
I had my thoughts in the beginning that she could do the same to me. I got over them by the time we got married.
I have wanted to visit her parrents in person. And tell them in front of her. I thought I would do that and then give her two options. Move back now and stop talking to him all together or come get your stuff and stay out of my life. Posted via Mobile Device
Now see, now you are manning up. That MC, is full of it. Nothing works better than exposure. it is a tried and true tool to bring light on something cheaters want to stay in the dark. From the sound of it, someone has aready been talking. Thats why her friends have cut her loose.
And to be honest, you should to. I would not stake my future kids happiness on her as a mother.
Have you asked her if she is seeing him. If she is, then she is sleeping with him dude. Either he is talking, or someone has seen them together. Dude, don't let her breakup for a while to get her rocks off, then come running back to you. This could be the pattern she wants, just as it was before with your best friend.
I just need to say that the MC is an imbecile. That she described exposing an affair as "immature and tattling" tells me she doesn't have any goddamn experience with infidelity, at all.
Expose first thing tomorrow. Drive over to your MIL/FIL's house, and tell them exactly what you told us you would.
You reconcile on your terms, or there is no reconcile. She doesn't like it? She can take her stuff and live with her parents. All the while you move on with your life without her.
I have been the one to inform the friends. I think I havent told her parrents because I m scared if she says for me to F off then they will come get her stuff. I feel that it being here gives me some hope. She is having some mental issues after a car accident. I thought it was something we could work through. Posted via Mobile Device
ok, lets stop the bull now. we already know you have low standards and no boundries, so why don't you use this history lesson as a springboard to develop some. YES history lesson, and hopefully you will learn something. DON'T date friends EX'S. Why is it she seem to have bigger ones than you do.
Wait is this the same poster that was fixing up the house, and she was going out ?? then left for parents house ??
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Wife is having an EA, cant let go. 
