Most people know what the fall out and ramifications can be before ever seeing it, but it doesn't come full circle until you are actually sitting there dealing with it. Thats my opinion at least LOL.
Guess that too, is right. Lots of rights and wrongs in an issue as convoluted as this. Posted via Mobile Device
Before we get down on the OP too much, because he hasn't walked a mile in our shoes. I would also like to point out that there ARE, LOTs of people, for whom infidelity is a deal-breaker, and follow through with their convictions. Some people know their limitations. I'm one.
Of course there are. Quite a few on this site too, aren't there? The only difference I can see between those who chose to R and those who chose to D, is that the ones aiming for R are often asked to explain themselves, and have a whole lot of descriptions associated with them. ( low self esteem, codependent, etc, etc)
I remember my first week on TAM, some random poster told me my H probably cheated because I didn't have enough sex with him I think I know where all the BW's are LMAO.Then he politely told me not to R if I wasn't going to up the amount of sex we were having, because my H wasn't satisfied. Never saw the part where I said my H with held sex and affection for YEARS. But there are definitely some on the board who will judge anyone who R's just because they can. Which I also think is a huge blow to someone who is still trying to figure out what they want to do. Even now, we have a lot of BS's who want R, but don't want to deal with everyone looking down on them. Sad.
I remember my first week on TAM, some random poster told me my H probably cheated because I didn't have enough sex with him I think I know where all the BW's are LMAO.Then he politely told me not to R if I wasn't going to up the amount of sex we were having, because my H wasn't satisfied. Never saw the part where I said my H with held sex and affection for YEARS.
NOPE lol. that is why when people ask why there are not a lot of BW's on here, I kinda giggle. that guy hit up quite a few BW's threads and said basically the same thing.
You bring up a good point Dawn in that a lot of posters give the same "advice" with each new member before the entire story is out there. Kind of like when I was told by someone they "hope my R isn't successful." That's a little brutal to read.
Can't believe someone told you that you needed to give it up to your H more. WTF?!! Seriously!????
NOPE lol. that is why when people ask why there are not a lot of BW's on here, I kinda giggle. that guy hit up quite a few BW's threads and said basically the same thing.
That was nearly 3 years ago, wasn't it? Things have changed quite a bit in CWI since I came here. When I first got here, there were lots of people spouting the Plan A stuff and how you should date and win your spouse back.
You bring up a good point Dawn in that a lot of posters give the same "advice" with each new member before the entire story is out there. Kind of like when I was told by someone they "hope my R isn't successful." That's a little brutal to read.
Can't believe someone told you that you needed to give it up to your H more. WTF?!! Seriously!????
I think it hurt more that he was trying to tell me it must have been my "fault" that he cheated, which hurt even more. Granted, things were perfect in the marriage at that point, but d***, really? LOL. Thank god the good outweighed the bad on that thread, or my ever so pleasant self might not be on here
I will support someone who chose D just as much as someone who chose R. I would hope others would do the same.
That was nearly 3 years ago, wasn't it? Things have changed quite a bit in CWI since I came here. When I first got here, there were lots of people spouting the Plan A stuff and how you should date and win your spouse back.
Yep. I still see it every now and again on threads that pop up, but the person who suggests it is usually put down pretty quick. But it can be very detrimental to someone who is trying to feel out what they want to do.
I see a lot of good on CWI, but I do feel the tone has changed sometimes, and not always for the better. But that is any forum
Before we get down on the OP too much, because he hasn't walked a mile in our shoes. I would also like to point out that there ARE, LOTs of people, for whom infidelity is a deal-breaker, and follow through with their convictions. Some people know their limitations. I'm one.
Unless I recollect it wrong, you tried to R first until she broke the NC. No?
I see a lot of good on CWI, but I do feel the tone has changed sometimes, and not always for the better. But that is any forum
Things aren't perfect, but it's a lot better than what it was. Because before there was a lot of rug sweeping and placating and trying to win back the WS and how the WS wouldn't have cheated if you had been more.....etc.
Things aren't perfect, but it's a lot better than what it was. Because before there was a lot of rug sweeping and placating and trying to win back the WS and how the WS wouldn't have cheated if you had been more.....etc.
This whole idea is disqusting! That its BS' fault......like the WS is a helpless child unable to speak about their needs. Bologna.
Things aren't perfect, but it's a lot better than what it was. Because before there was a lot of rug sweeping and placating and trying to win back the WS and how the WS wouldn't have cheated if you had been more.....etc.
Very true with the placating and the "if you hadn't/had" statements. I do think this board is still very helpful, and can bring out things that a newly BS or WS hadn't quite thought about.
231Likes
I think I know where all the BW's are LMAO.Then he politely told me not to R if I wasn't going to up the amount of sex we were having, because my H wasn't satisfied. Never saw the part where I said my H with held sex and affection for YEARS. But there are definitely some on the board who will judge anyone who R's just because they can. Which I also think is a huge blow to someone who is still trying to figure out what they want to do. Even now, we have a lot of BS's who want R, but don't want to deal with everyone looking down on them. Sad.
