Not knocking any of you that have reconciled with your cheating spouse, but how can you do it? I love my wife and our children with all my heart,but if she cheated even once I would be gone quicker than The Flash. Even the thought of her with another man sends me into a boiling rage, and if I actually caught her in the act it would end like that country song "Momma's in the graveyard, Poppa's in the pen." Posted via Mobile Device
Humans are fallible creatures by nature. We also have the ability to be flexible with our thoughts, deeds, and emotions. While it may be easy for you to make the statement that you made, until you are actually faced with that particular situation you don't really know how you will react. You say you love your wife, if she made an error in judgement, and was truly remorseful, could you really turn your back on all the history, all the good moments, the laughter, growth, and companionship that comes with a good relationship?
Not knocking any of you that have reconciled with your cheating spouse, but how can you do it? I love my wife and our children with all my heart,but if she cheated even once I would be gone quicker than The Flash. Even the thought of her with another man sends me into a boiling rage, and if I actually caught her in the act it would end like that country song "Momma's in the graveyard, Poppa's in the pen." Posted via Mobile Device
trust me dude. I about 3 weeks ago agreed with u to a T. I always said if my wife screws me over i'd be gone. Then just over 2 weeks ago, I found that my suspicions were true and that she did in fact go visit another guy on at least 3 occasions. they both say it never went as far as sex and idk if i'll ever be able to prove that it did, but Im still here. I feel that my wife is a mess mentally and needs a therapist to be fixed. She is going to a therapist on monday and im still here. Im still in love with her, even tho at times I hate her guts. I still have sex with her even tho the thought of her doing it with another man makes me sick. I can only hope that it didnt go that far and by all accounts it didnt. But then again, she lied to me before so why not lie to save her own ass right? Either way when u have kids and u invest a decade into your relationship and 9 of those years were great and u just bought a house you thought you would retire in, u will think long and hard before saying you would bail that quick. kissing another man is an awful thing to picture in your head when u have been loyal and faithful and loving to ur wife. The question i have for u is why are u on this forum site unless u are a tad concerned with ur marriage? Why would someone who has a good marriage be on this page unless ur looking for possible clues?
You say you love your wife, if she made an error in judgement, and was truly remorseful, could you really turn your back on all the history, all the good moments, the laughter, growth, and companionship that comes with a good relationship?
Personal opinion, YES it would destroy every moment of memory. From that moment on they would seem fake.
I also don't like that "error in judgement" expression. I feel it severely downplays the situation.
"OOOps honey i made an "error in judgement" and ripped your heart out and feed it to the dogs"
I understand the OP perfectly. And most of all, i know myself. There is no way in hell i would put me through the process of reconciliation. I would never waste my time like that.
I'm not big on the forgiveness thing. I actually don't do it. EVER... That goes for friends too. One strike, that's all. I find myself pretty happy in life this way.
Having said this, i understand people that do R. I know the appeal of that. Each to its own. Whatever makes people happy. For me i know i wouldn't ever be happy again with woman that betrayed me so i would never go that route.
I find it curious that there are people who haven't dealt with infidelity in this part of the forum. Most of the time they are here to tell us what they wouldn't deal with. Curious.
I have dealt with infidelity, just not in my current relationship, I actually never even spoke to her again. Poof, I was gone.So I do have a right to an opinion lol Posted via Mobile Device
Nope, I always find it interesting at about once a month, someone who isn't dealing with infidelity posts in here about why they wouldn't R LMAO. Seems repetitive. OP -- was your experience with infidelity during a marriage? If not, then yes I can understand why it made more sense to walk away.
Dawn, questioning the OP's motives aren't what his thread is about. If you agree with him , say so, if you disagree with him say that too, but all this passive-agressive stuff does , is create bad feeling. He hasn't questioned YOUR motives, has he? I like you, but you are wrong on this. Instead of impuning the motives of new posters, I think it would be a good idea to accept them as they are.
Much like the feeling created for those in an early stage of R who come in here and see monthly a poster coming in and saying that they could never do it. It may be wrong in your opinion, and you are welcome to it, but nowhere near in mine. BTW, saying I find it curious isn't questioning his motives, it is merely a statement.
I just know my response to infidelity and could not understand why one would stay with a spouse after a betrayel. I meant no harm in fact that's why the first words of my OP stated I wasn't knocking those who had reconciled. Personally for me, as I am sure it is for many others cheating is taking my heart, throwing it to the ground then stomping all over it. One poster commented about throwing away the good memories. Why should I let it stop me? Obviously those memories didn't mean squat to the cheater. They broke the promises and vows, they have made all the good memories ininconsequential. Posted via Mobile Device
I just know my response to infidelity and could not understand why one would stay with a spouse after a betrayel.Posted via Mobile Device
Just so you know, statistics don't bear you out. The vast majority of people believe as you do, but the vast majority don't divorce someone for cheating. I'm not saying they should stay, but that's what statistics show.
I think what Dawn was trying to say is that your views aren't particularly unusual or remarkable. And because they are hypothetical, not sure how they apply to those of us who have experienced cheating in marriage.
But then none of us really knows what we would do in some future hypothetical situation, because what happens is, we imagine things occurring in a particular way, but real life tends to be much, much more complicated than that.
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I don't get reconciliation... 
