I do this. I go to the GYM on Sundays. I workout in my house during the week.
No one is saying in isolation that this is a red flag. She works out 7 days a week, and has only increased her fitness in the last 6 months per the OP. The OP is maintaining that she has no time to meet anyone else because her schedule is so tight. Plus the sexy lingerie. Plus kissing a man she acknowledges some level of emotional attachment to...plus a rather strong reaction (no matter how OP wants to spin it) of offering to leave and divorce him over a kiss.
Like the others, I am perfectly capable of believing it all unfolded just as she said. But I would still want to verify why my wife was emotionally attached to a subordinate enough to risk her job with a kiss.
I am all caught up so let me tell you what happened. My wife was on the computer all morning getting her resume together so now I have some time. Got up early this morning, showered, got dressed walked into the living room where she was and asked for his name. She told me his name. I asked where does he live. She replied what are you going to do. I simply asked again and she told me. I asked what type of car does he drive. She told me. I asked her what time does he get to work. She gets nervous because she thinks I am going to take this guy out. I told her I will not touch him. She said please don't do anything on bank property but then told me. My plan was to go to the parking lot just to check out this guy, a talk would come later, go home and grab her phone and see if she called or sent a text to him warning him that I was coming. So I am sitting in the parking lot and here he comes. Wouldn't you know it he parks right next to be. Early 30's good looking guy. I figured I might as well get this over with. I get out of my car and call out his name. He looks at me and says hello. I tell him my first name and he was a deer in headlights. I said I am not going to hit you or tell your wife. He whispered something along the line of "I am so sorry". He was very shaken. I told him I want to know what happened. He said it was the end of the day and he was having some problems with one of his rental properties and was having a bad day when my wife came up to him and asked what was wrong. He told her, they hugged, then the kiss. He told me nothing happened before or since. I told him that my wife was fired and he said I know and I feel horrible. Everything was at a whisper he was extremely shaken. I told him I will not ruin your marriage and walked away. He walked back to his car and started to cry. I went home grabbed her cell phone and no call or messages sent. We talked this morning I have known her for 26 years so I can read her like a book. Of course I want to believe her but at the same time I do not want to be taken for a fool. I got nothing that tells me this went any further. Maybe sometimes a stupid mistake is just that, a stupid mistake.
Like the others, I am perfectly capable of believing it all unfolded just as she said. But I would still want to verify why my wife was emotionally attached to a subordinate enough to risk her job with a kiss.
Agree, but train wrecks like this seldom include any logic by the cheater.
She is meeting her boss tomorrow morning to clean out her desk. They should have told her first thing in the morning not wait 8 hours.
No this is how we do this in the industry. There is process. Computer access ahs to be handled. We are talking financial industry here. There are legalities that must play out.
I have hired folks, I have fired folks and I have had to be the one to cut off their access. Oh and I have been laid off too. Before an employee is fired and leaves the premises access has to be dealt with. This includes but not limited to badges, account numbers and computer access across branches local and remote.
Often they want to go over the desk contents before it leaves to ensure nothing inappropriate leaves. Also mopst places want to avoid the scene. A person just leaves at the end of the day and does not return.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
I don't but then I am not 100% sure the Pope is Catholic either. Actually she just left for the gym now, should I follow her?
Yes. I would follow after her.
This is not about being 100% anything. The fact is that you don't know what is going on. Your wife did something unfaithful at the least. You have no idea to what extent.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
No this is how we do this in the industry. There is process. Computer access ahs to be handled. We are talking financial industry here. There are legalities that must play out.
I have hired folks, I have fired folks and I have had to be the one to cut off their access. Oh and I have been laid off too. Before an employee is fired and leaves the premises access has to be dealt with. This includes but not limited to badges, account numbers and computer access across branches local and remote.
Often they want to go over the desk contents before it leaves to ensure nothing inappropriate leaves. Also mopst places want to avoid the scene. A person just leaves at the end of the day and does not return.
All sorts of reasons for this.
I understand what you are saying but why not grab her as she enter the building and tell her. By waiting until the end of the day she could have done some damage during the course of the day if she wanted to.
Hes early thirties and she's middle forties and it was just a kiss. Polygraph is the ONLY way you will ever be confident you know what is going on. Sorry you are here, hope things work out better for your family since she has at least gotten away frim a job she hates.
BTW there are lots of theads here from men that let it go and years later find they ar enot over it and do not have the chance to find out what really happened. You are in shock. If you take the adviec you have been given, wll, I just don't see the downside to doing a little digging but I do see the upside. Unless you don't believe her, but are afraid of what you will find.
I am all caught up so let me tell you what happened. My wife was on the computer all morning getting her resume together so now I have some time. Got up early this morning, showered, got dressed walked into the living room where she was and asked for his name. She told me his name. I asked where does he live. She replied what are you going to do. I simply asked again and she told me. I asked what type of car does he drive. She told me. I asked her what time does he get to work. She gets nervous because she thinks I am going to take this guy out. I told her I will not touch him. She said please don't do anything on bank property but then told me. My plan was to go to the parking lot just to check out this guy, a talk would come later, go home and grab her phone and see if she called or sent a text to him warning him that I was coming. So I am sitting in the parking lot and here he comes. Wouldn't you know it he parks right next to be. Early 30's good looking guy. I figured I might as well get this over with. I get out of my car and call out his name. He looks at me and says hello. I tell him my first name and he was a deer in headlights. I said I am not going to hit you or tell your wife. He whispered something along the line of "I am so sorry". He was very shaken. I told him I want to know what happened. He said it was the end of the day and he was having some problems with one of his rental properties and was having a bad day when my wife came up to him and asked what was wrong. He told her, they hugged, then the kiss. He told me nothing happened before or since. I told him that my wife was fired and he said I know and I feel horrible. Everything was at a whisper he was extremely shaken. I told him I will not ruin your marriage and walked away. He walked back to his car and started to cry. I went home grabbed her cell phone and no call or messages sent. We talked this morning I have known her for 26 years so I can read her like a book. Of course I want to believe her but at the same time I do not want to be taken for a fool. I got nothing that tells me this went any further. Maybe sometimes a stupid mistake is just that, a stupid mistake.
Good deal. I have no idea why you negotiated yourself out of notifying his wife.
What you do not know is whether they just got their story down.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
BTW people find time to cheat. Leave work early, go to work early, go somewhere instead of where they say they are going(gym). Stay late for work. Go in on Sat. Go to a motel for lunch........its endless.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 08-10-2012 at 03:25 PM.
I wish you would have asked him more about their relationship-how often they were alone, where they were, etc. Comparing stories could have brought things to light. Posted via Mobile Device
I understand what you are saying but why not grab her as she enter the building and tell her. By waiting until the end of the day she could have done some damage during the course of the day if she wanted to.
Because during the day they are shutting down her access methodically. This is how it works. It is a scenario that plays itself out all too often accross the industry each and every day. Many approbvals and notifications. They cannot afford to take a chance at leaving something open.
They were required to follow HR process. Telling her she is fired would give her a chance to do damage remotely. Also while certain things are 24 x 7 not all thing happen on offshore hours. They are handled by folks on the day shift that relate to HR, security, IT and so on. The exit interview is important. They needed to assess her reaction. She probably got severance because she resigned.
My point is that this played out in a very standard way for for very standard reasons. This is how folks are handled. No special treatment good or bad. Yes is varies from place to place for certain specifics but again the financial industry has extra requirements for sure.
They had to work out the severance and so on. No doubt when they fired her they handed her the termination package or very close to that time. They are dozens of things that must occur in reasonable sequence.
I am not sure why this bothers you so much. There is no one else to blame for this situation.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 08-10-2012 at 03:26 PM.
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Re: You are going to be mad at me... 
