he lies and lies.... im out of ideas.. how do i make him stop?

mexican candy · 04-29-2009, 11:23 PM

ive been in a very serious relationship for over four years and i am now 8 months pregnant. he has lied and cheated 3 times in the past. we were both very young 16 to 18 yrs old and though i never cheated i did my share of messed up stuff. i truly love him and have forgiven him though there is isnt a day that the memories of him cheating torture me. i sometimes find myself crying to sleep. im really trying to make our relationship more mature and overall better. i occasionally go through his emails and phone because im scared of him cheating again and every once in a while i find messages of him talking to these girls. im sure he doesnt see them because we live 2gether and are always together. but how can i make him stop looking back and start being more honest with me and think about us and our baby. i would appreciate any advice im completely out of ideas i try not to hold him down to much but i just feel like im not getting thru to him if he continues to lie to me im afraid ill have to leave him for good. i would like to fix things for the sake of my baby. please help!!!

827Aug · 04-30-2009, 06:05 AM

I'm so sorry you are going through this. This should be a joyous time in your life, but it obviously isn't. Both of you are so young! You have a huge problem with trust--with good reason. Unfortunately lying and cheating go hand-in-hand. If I were in your shoes, I would ask him to stop all contact with these other women. Then, I would demand he live a transparent life. After all, he is the one who created the mistrust. It is now up to him to EARN your trust again. And if he can do that, he isn't worth your time. You and your baby deserve better!

revitalizedhusband · 04-30-2009, 07:30 AM

827 is right, not only do you need to tell him all contact with the few "other women" he's cheated with needs to stop completely, he also needs to lead a "transparent" life.

Meaning that you have access to all of his emails, phone records, etc and he KNOWS you will check them once in awhile until your trust in him is restored.

Private Eye Wife · 05-08-2009, 03:07 PM

I also agree with the posters above. Three strikes - he's out! Let him stress about child support & move on if he can't MAN UP!