Your WW will never defog from her affair feelings because ever time WW sees OM at work she gets an OM fix for her addiction.
This continued contact is keeping the affair alive. WW won't put out because she still needs to be faithful to the OM. Even if they are not being in a PA any more.
You need to get the book Survivng An Affair by Dr Harley.
You need to learn about NC. That means WW and OM can not work together now or ever.
You should consider selling the house and moving everyone far away from the OM.
You also need to learn how to do and effective exposure. This means at work.
Then I have to say your opinion of your counselor is dead on. Fire her. Only thing a separation that the counselor wants to happen is that it will make it easy for WW to restart her affair and end your marriage.
I know that if you follow the steps in Survivng An Affair you will kill the affair , defog your WW, recover your marriage, and get your joy stick wet again.
__________________ Makau, the fish hook - stands for everything that is good and promises prosperity (not just in material things), strength (character) and renewal (not remaining stagnant). My creed for building a strong marriage.
I think abuginarug has checked out... apparently did not like the way the discussion was heading. Hope at some point in his life he comes to terms with the salient advice given him.
__________________ Makau, the fish hook - stands for everything that is good and promises prosperity (not just in material things), strength (character) and renewal (not remaining stagnant). My creed for building a strong marriage.
For better or for worse, I have more patience than you.
She wouldn't have cheated on me if I had acted like her husband. She would not have had the opportunity.
Nothing to do with patience. It's about accepting reality, which is what you're having a problem doing. You, like most BSs, live in denial and are justifying the affair.
You claim that you would only divorce due to abuse. FYI, infidelity is one of the most severe emotional abuse that person can inflict on another. Experts have said the trauma from infidelity is worse than the death of a family member. That's why it takes 2-5 years to recover from infidelity. Then add the fact that your WW refuses to consummate the marriage because she's sexually loyal to another man, refusing the sexual and emotional intimacy that bonds a man and woman together in marriage.
Your WW did things with OM that she would never do with you, and apparently that upsets you. You will find that this is typical behavior for WWs in an affair. Look at this thread.
__________________ Davelli0331:If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
On top of all of this, she treated me like **** yesterday. Because she was missing him. She told me she was missing him, and was angry at me for keeping them apart.
Can you expose the affair to anyone ,especially the OM's Wife/gf?
He's divorced. His wife cheated on him. He lives alone. I could expose to his very mother or his daughter that's only a couple years younger than my wife...both those options sound petty.
Your WW will never defog from her affair feelings because ever time WW sees OM at work she gets an OM fix for her addiction.
This continued contact is keeping the affair alive. WW won't put out because she still needs to be faithful to the OM. Even if they are not being in a PA any more.
You need to get the book Survivng An Affair by Dr Harley.
You need to learn about NC. That means WW and OM can not work together now or ever.
You should consider selling the house and moving everyone far away from the OM.
You also need to learn how to do and effective exposure. This means at work.
Then I have to say your opinion of your counselor is dead on. Fire her. Only thing a separation that the counselor wants to happen is that it will make it easy for WW to restart her affair and end your marriage.
I know that if you follow the steps in Survivng An Affair you will kill the affair , defog your WW, recover your marriage, and get your joy stick wet again.
Thank you. I need some time to consider all of this. Right now, I don't think recovering my marriage is in the cards.
On top of all of this, she treated me like **** yesterday. Because she was missing him. She told me she was missing him, and was angry at me for keeping them apart.
MC is going to be hell today.
I would run away if I were you!
With all the disrespect she's showing she's not worth it!
She should move heaven and earth to make it up to you, instead she's blaming you for breaking her up from the OM!
__________________ Davelli0331:If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
Last edited by lovelygirl; 08-13-2012 at 10:41 AM.
On top of all of this, she treated me like **** yesterday. Because she was missing him. She told me she was missing him, and was angry at me for keeping them apart.
MC is going to be hell today.
You need to serve her divorce papers.
You're far too beta which is why she shows you zero respect.
To her the OM is a "real" man and the irony is she knows he'd never take the **** she's easily giving you.
Get a lawyer, have her served, see how she reacts.
Either way it's win/win for you. Posted via Mobile Device
In the meantime. Read Married Man Sex Life and No More Mister Nice Guy. They can be downloaded. MMSL is not a sex manual but a relationship guide that will explain what has happened and why.
If you really want to keep her this is your best shot. MMsl has MAP plan for you to follow.
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Re: Old evidence of infidelities 
