1, me ( bare in mind she has only lied to me once before about anything) me ( bare in mind she has only lied to me once before about anything)
And you know this how?
2, I remember the day in question I told her I wanted a divorce we were having serious problems I left for the weekend with friends. Ok
So she is so upset that she: during this time apparently she called up her ex and went over to his place hung out for a bit sometime during that evening her EX forces him del n her.Sounds strange. Hmm of all the people she could have called Up, she choses her EX to hang out with. Seriously??? Sorry it doesn’t ad up. Unless they
Have been staying in touch all along.
The truth in my opinion is that they never cut any contact
at all. Not very unlikely that they have been seeing each other, and staid in contact one with each other one way or another. I mean think about it one month after the wedding, her EX should not have ben on her radar.
Sorry but I don’t think this was one time deal.
She was more probably forced to tell you for some reason.
She was forced? Yeah right. I guaranty you
That you would have noticed a very strange behavior
From her.
There is a reason her EX had the big smirk on his face.
hardly something a rapist would have shown.
Yeah I know they were talking all a long leading up to the day in question I found this out back then I knew they were talking I had a feeling but I chose to ignore it. And look where it got me.
Yeah I know they were talking all a long leading up to the day in question I found this out back then I knew they were talking I had a feeling but I chose to ignore it. And look where it got me.
My exWife had a 2 year affair. i tried to reconcile.
So there is no shame in it.
But in your case. Considering the short time together
and your statment :Yeah I know they were talking all a long leading up to the day in question And not much, personal and monetary invested.
My advice would be to move on.And work on your anger problem.
But in your case. Considering the short time together and your statment :Yeah I know they were talking all a long leading up to the day in question And not much, personal and monetary invested.
My advice would be to move on.And work on your anger problem.
I agree he should bail in a childless marriage. But, they have children together.
You have not left your wife so you obvious;y love her still.
Can I recommend a course of action.
Pack a suitcase full fo your wifes clothes. Ask her to take a ride with you.
Do not let her see the bag.
Go to the "ex's" home or place of business. Where ever you know he will be.
Speak to him with your wife right in front of you.
"If you ever screw my wife again, I will make your life a nightmare. I will drop her off with the kids so they can be your problem. If you ever smile in my presence I will wipe it off your face in front of all your friends and then I will sue your ass off.
Do you think its funny now???"
Drop the bag and walk away from both of them.
If your wife grabs her bag and gets back in the car tell her you might have been an ass in the past but you would never cheat in her or disprespect her.
Please give me the same respect!"
And then go home.
If she does not follow you. Problem solved either way.
Confront the problem. Not with violence. With the truth right in their faces.
I think a lot of posters are letting you off the hook. This is a sad situation, but..............you have anger issues, you fought with your wife, kicked her out, told her you were done and that you were divorcing her. Then you left town with "friends".
Number one with out hearing her side, it looks like you have left out a lot of info. If she were that unworthy all she had to do was keep her mouth shut whether it was rape or not. We are a little jaded here so we all suspect it wasn't rape. However,if it wasn't why did she tell you? Why was her conscience bothering her so badly she had to tell you? I tend to believe her since I see no upside for her telling you except that she thinks she should have told what happened to her friend happened to her. Only 20% of affairs ever come to light, she could have easily took this to her grave. Unlike most of the cheaters we see, she has a conscience, thats why I think she is telling the truth.
If you showed the ex you were willing to cut him I wouldn't worry about him any longer either. I'm sure he goes around keeping an eye out for you thinking he could be attacked at any time.
It's just that simple, she just won't admit it. Now, what measures have you taken to ensure there is no further contact. Now I know it sucks that this XBF was smiling when he saw you. But keep in mind, he wouldn't be smiling in your face if your WW hadn't knowingly and wilfully gone over to his place and had sex with him. Your WW is fully responsible for this.
yes, you probably do need counseling for your anger issues. This is a man that you previously pulled a knife on; the same man that your wife ran to for comfort. Do you not see the irony here?
My female instinct tells me that your w is playing the both of you against each other while she sits in the corner, eating her cake and watching. Is she amused by all of this "entertainment". She sleeps with her ex and now her h wants to kill the ex? She even tells a ridiculous story to you about him forcing himself on her in order to egg it on? Perhaps you are angry with the wrong person here.
I just brought it up to my wife via text I have been in let's just say a bad mood the last couple of days about this. And she says I need to take responsibility on my part for what caused her to go to her ex what do you all think about this?
Yeah I am not going to let her do it this time, period. She says I have no idea how much this tears her up inside, I said I can't just push it under the rug like she can and she said she is not going to let it ruin her life every time we see him.
That's because she still has feelings for him.
You need to take an account of what you have done that made her feel unwanted by you. There is more to this.
For you to recover this marriage you need to move far away to go NC with the OM. At least two long days driving by car. It seems that you live too close or the town is too small because you are always running into the OM.
I just brought it up to my wife via text I have been in let's just say a bad mood the last couple of days about this. And she says I need to take responsibility on my part for what caused her to go to her ex what do you all think about this?
I think the correct response is to DNA the kids and see a divorce lawyer.
50Likes
Re: I hate my wife's ex 
