Husband roving eye on ALL potential females
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 08-18-2012, 01:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

My husband has a roving eye for potential females and this holiday we went with his sister, brother in-law, 7 year old nephew and 13 year old niece to a summer holiday where I noticed he decided to regard his 13 year old niece as this occasion's flirt object.

I immediately noticed his positively changed behaviour toward his niece, as in previous years he made both the niece and nephew cry for calling them annoying. His behaviour towards his brother-in law changed also positively because in previous year that brother in law was just the stingy old twat to be ignored. I decided to wait and see if my findings were justified. Unfortunately they were. He gave her the most attention and she was happy about this acknowledgment because she normally is being ignored, especially when the pretty daughter of my husband is around.

First night, we were sitting in the balcony and the two kids were playing in their rooms. My husband suddenly asked where is X (his niece)? We looked wondering at him why he would ask. He made up some silly excuse.

Another night, we all were playing Uno. His niece was sitting further away from him but he was all about her game and while she was complaining to her dad about not getting any help during the game, my husband in whispered to her, like one would do a potential flirt, that he cannot help her from where he sits.

First 2 days, my husband who doesnt like swimming would not get out of the swimming pool, obviously with his niece so that even her father would make a joke about. The moment X and I go to the pool you are around, he would say.

I began getting convinced that something I would never dream of would happen. His niece would enjoy my husbands attention, and seemed to be reiterating this attention, she certainly is not used to it. She would sit legs apart in front of him, while my husband would try to hide his erections.

At the same time my husband would be mirroring the behaviour of his niece. Like complaining about the salty water, ordering what she orders- although he HATES salad, and trying to appear like a boy by drinking coke. He would suggest plans that would involve her wishes like she wanted to the rooftop to see the moon and he would suggest similar activities. In previous years my husband would not even want to join family trips and would volunteer to stay home, while I was taking his family out. When I asked him, what we both, him and I should do one evening, he would protest and tell we do what EVERYONE wants to do. He meant to say what his niece wants to do.



I also recall him saying BEFORE the holiday that he wants some time off from that family and go out drinking with his older brother. He forgot all about his plans...

I finally confronted him and he passionately denied such disgusting ideas. I still was hoping this isnt serious when one night we were all sitting in the balcony and got up to see a shooting star. At that moment I turned around and saw my husband bowing down to peek through the knickers of his 13 year old niece with a smile in his face. The next second he got up to look around if he was caught. I think he thought he was not caught until I confronted him. He still cannot explain why this happened.

Our night and days became nightmares, the 50 year old uncle trying to avoid the 13 year old child and the child in her naivity thinking I wont understand her chasing her uncle's attention - God knows what for?

My husband scared now talking to his niece for too long tried to avoid her and one evening when we were sitting together again with crisps and chips, my husband thought i wont see it when he nibbles seducively his crisps in front of her. When confronted his cheeks turned red for a second and then strict denial and then blaming my sick mind.

The niece became more and more encouraged by my husband's secret glances, when he thought i cant see him and a distant insest perverted affair was beginning. Hindered by my controlling.



At the pool he wanted me to put oil on his back and said; would you like to get your hands oily- and he looked into her eyes while he said this.



While playing a game in the balcony, when my husband thought nobody is looking, he would turn to her to give her deep look into the eyes and then turn to the game.



Never ending issues like this.. for about 7 days.



The last night, I became more relaxed since my husband was forcing himself to show good will and we were all sitting in the balcony at night. My husband said he is going to get a drink and went to the kitchen. A few second after he got up his niece rushed after him for a drink. We all wondered as it looked VERY suspicious. Her father was staring at kitchens direction and the whole getting drinks thing took a while until the niece screamed and yelled why do you turn the light off? My husband came with his glass of water wiping his face and tried to look normal.



When he saw my face he said lets go see something else. In the bedroom I said I am tired lets go to bed, meaning the evening for me is done and hence for him, he wants to stay with me. He hated me every moment I took him away from this kid.



Next day was time to say goodbye, my husband knew Ill be observing them, niece didnt really because I acted calm, was chasing him everywhere. But as my husband knew I was watching them he could only give her a desperate goodbye look and walk away, leaving her with her sad looks.



Back at home, I stopped being calm and became a wrack, all he could do was sitting like a depressed school boy because he was love sick... that wrinkly old man. The nieces family are crooks and despite that he tries to be on their good site and refuses me to say anything bad about his niece. He says you can say anything about anyone except me and my niece.



what do you think?
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Old 08-18-2012, 03:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

Unfortunately this is what I observed and my observations are strictly denied by my husband. The girl who looks like 16 was welcoming.
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Old 08-18-2012, 03:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Unfortunately this is what I observed and my observations are strictly denied by my husband. The girl who looks like 16 was welcoming.
Do not blame his niece she is just a child and this is not the start of an affair, to be an affair it must involve consenting adults, this does not.

It is irrelevant that she is flirting and enjoying the attention, she is a child. It is irrelevant if she looks 16, he knows she is 13.

He is a paedophile and you should be calling the police and telling them about him peering down the pants of a child.

Call the police and start D.
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Old 08-18-2012, 03:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

You don't understand I have NO proof! Husband STRICTLY denies it and child seemed welcoming. We live in different countries so they wont be seeing each other again for at least a year- if ever. We fell apart with her family due to financial reasons.

I just dont know how to handle this situation.
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Old 08-18-2012, 04:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

I also would like to add that before this I never detected any perversion of this kind rather than his flirting (eye contact, jokes etc) with adult women. He denies ALL or calls it messing about.
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Old 08-18-2012, 04:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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You don't understand I have NO proof! Husband STRICTLY denies it and child seemed welcoming. We live in different countries so they wont be seeing each other again for at least a year- if ever. We fell apart with her family due to financial reasons.

I just dont know how to handle this situation.
You said you turned and saw him trying to peek down her knickers so You do have proof, you saw with your own eyes!. Call the police, let them investigate and protect this child from being groomed.
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Old 08-18-2012, 04:08 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

yes, i saw that with my own eyes but if ALL deny? Many thanks for your advice.
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Old 08-18-2012, 04:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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yes, i saw that with my own eyes but if ALL deny? Many thanks for your advice.
If all deny then it is in the open and you can be sure her family will not leave her alone with him again and you've done the right thing.

As for her welcoming the attention, so what, she is still a child. If she were 5 and welcomed it would that have any kind of justification?, no it wouldn't and it's the same here.

It's him not her, what if his daughter starts to display some sexual behaviours, is she next?

Call the police.
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Old 08-18-2012, 04:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

it's not a justification, im just trying to say that i would not have ANY support if I complain officially without the proof besides my own eyes. I did not leave him alone for a second there and I will keep an eye on him. THEY won't get together anyway for a long while.

This did not happen with him before and no, I don't believe the daughter is perverted..100% not..
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Old 08-18-2012, 07:53 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

Insulting the OP, and accusations of trolling are violations of the forum rules. Report the post or contact a moderator if you doubt the validity of the post or member, but unproven negative accusations in the form of personal attacks are not necessary to address the doubts about the legitimacy of a post.
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:04 AM   #11 (permalink)
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OP - what do you want? You stated that your H had erections over his 13 yr old niece. Does, or has, he shown interest in young girls before? I would imagine, if he targets young girls, it wouldn't have started with his niece.
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:07 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

as stated above there was NO such action before but always a roving eye for potential females.
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:14 AM   #13 (permalink)
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What do you want? You say you won't see them again for another year.. do you think he's capable of seeking out another young girl if he's suddenly developed a thing for young girls?

As for the niece, the next time y'all are together and you notice he has an erection with his niece near him, I'd bring it to another adults attention.. embarrass him. I dont know, that's just what I might do to my H.
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:18 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband roving eye on ALL potential females

no, he was not encouraging this feeling (probably too scared of me being aware) but she was provoking him.

there will be no next year for sure but i'm devasted about the extremity of his perversion. at the same time he is soo denying it that i just dont know how to handle HİM.. thanks for your advice.
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:23 AM   #15 (permalink)
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no, he was not encouraging this feeling (probably too scared of me being aware) but she was provoking him.

there will be no next year for sure but i'm devasted about the extremity of his perversion. at the same time he is soo denying it that i just dont know how to handle HM.. thanks for your advice.
She's 13.. she's a child. She was not provoking anything. Your H is the adult pervert. Put the blame where it belongs... On the ADULT.
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