Feeling_bad

She has one cell phone that I've checked and am continuing to check. I checked the phone yesterday after the OM called her to apologize, and noticed that the phone number had not been set up on her contacts.

aug

Is there a possibility your wife may have done similar quickie at some other place with some other men? On her GNO?

Feeling_bad

Her friend who's the OM's wife is always with her on GNO, so I don't think so. But I'm now seeing how irresponsible my wife is when drunk, so I'm going to confront her today about other drunken times in the past.

snap

Ask the OMW first, if she knows any rumor she'll spill the beans now.

aug

If she did, she may not want to tell you.

You may have to bluff her. Say, for example, the OM's wife is now saying she is not going to cover for her now and you know. She needs to come clean if the marriage is to have any chance.

Shaggy

Have you considered getting a polygraph test done?

happyman64

Feeling Bad

You have gotten some really good advice.

Can I make one suggestion.

Calm down and use the time you have to get your emotions under control.

Go speak with the counselor. But do not rush to any judgement or decision on your marriage.

Your wife really screwed up. That woman should never have alcohol unless only with you. My wife is an angel. But get her drunk and I do not even recognize her.

She did it once while engaged to me and never got drunk again. She scared herself witless.

Dig deep with the OMW! And verify this is the only event.

I doubt you will find more.

Then when you are calm and rational make a decision.

Enforce boundaries that your wife agrees too and you both follow them if you decide to R.

You very level headed and I think everything will work out.

HM64

Feeling_bad

Thanks HM64...very sound advice.

I went for a run this morning. Worst run ever when all you have is the road and your thoughts.

happyman64

I have had those runs. Just get the hate and hurt out of your system.

Out of curiosity does your wife remember what she did in the bathroom?

If she passed out right after she had to be pretty wasted.

And that is another example of poor behavior with kids in the same house.

That bothers me even more than the cheating.

Just use your time wisely and do not jump to any decisions.

Entropy3000

The innate pressures that are around marriages. The lifestyle. Lots of drinking. Lots of young wives and young military guys in close proximity. Husbands gone for very long periods. It is an intense emotional environment. The military job itself is more intense. There can be much lonliness and so on.

If you have not lived in the environment it is very hard to explain. Imagine living in a frat house with your wife and being gone a lot for extended periods to isolated places where you are being shot at.

On and on. Many of the wives are very young and naive and fall in with the partiers. Not uncommon for a group of wives to go out looking for action when the men go on deployment. Women are always welcome at the club. Jody is always there for them.

Imagine the testosterone density in the population.

It is very common for a woman to feel abandoned by her husband and find solice with another man.

__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."

Entropy3000

Actually this is pretty common so it will be rug swept unless he pushes it. It will be very humliating for him to tell his chain of command that he found his wife doing this with him. The wife becomes a well know target for other men. She will be very welcome at the O club.

__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."

Machiavelli

Nothing like having your fellow Marines look out for your old lady.

Feeling_bad

A lot of very true statements here, but we don't fit the very young demographic. I've been in almost 20 years. My wife is 37...she is supposed to know better.

Feeling_bad

She doesn't remember play by play, but she recalls that it happened. Some of the details she says she didn't recall until I brought it up to her.

lovelygirl

She was able to do this to her H while he was in the other room.
Imagine what she's able to do to her H when he's out of the country.

OP, buying the alcohol excuse sounds VERY silly to me.
It's not that getting drunk made her blind and unable to see that she was holding someone else's penis in her hand.

She was sober enough to calculate the way from the room to the bathroom [because she knew what she was about to do was wrong] but she was too drunk to realize that she was touching OM's penis? How does that make sense?

If you wife was indeed drunk she would make out with him, right there...in the room...without having to leave.
That's when I would buy the crappy excuse of alcohol.

__________________
Shaggy: Men of integrity don't have affairs. They don't have affairs not because there aren't other wonderful women out there besides their wives, they don't have affairs because as men of integrity they choose not to.