I for one think this is the first time with OM. But the attraction and sexual tension was there. The OM admitting to your WW about his past affairs tells me he had you WW in his sights. As bad as it is how you caught them be glad that you did before attraction turned into a connection.
For some reason I don't feel like his wife had "anything" with this man prior to this event. Her reaction to being caught is of someone being black-out drunk. This wasn't pre planned. Regarding the convo, if your wife confessed that she cheated too, why would she bring up this conversation in the first place and get herself into more trouble?
I think we're jumping from 0 to 60 too quickly.
Thanks Complexity, I thought the same thing about that confession, and I gauged her reaction when I told her I'd call the OM to find out what she said. She did not seem concerned, and has not been on the phone since (i.e., to try to contact OM to warn him).
First off, there was no negligence at all. My wife and I take turns when it comes to drinking. I was not impaired nor were probably half the adults there. And no one was as bad off as my wife and the OM. The game we were playing is called "The Game of Things". Adult oriented, but I'm sure many of us have played it.
Also, she showed no remorse after I walked in. In fact she showed no emotion. She was so drunk, she pulled her pants back up in a zombified manner and went straight to our bedroom where she passed out shortly thereafter. The following morning (and all day yesterday) she has shown remorse. And it's continuing today.
Ok, so she was not remorseful right away (embarrassed then remorseful)... I don't think it changes the fact that this was not just some spontaneous act precipitated by alcohol. It very may well have been the first time this went physical, but I find it hard to believe that there as not an EA going on prior.
So again not to pick on you too much, but if you were the mostly sober one watching after the kids, how come you did not go to the room where your daughter was playing to check on her?
__________________ Makau, the fish hook - stands for everything that is good and promises prosperity (not just in material things), strength (character) and renewal (not remaining stagnant). My creed for building a strong marriage.
Feeling_bad...What do you think About what i said?
I appreciate your comments that this was not my fault. I trusted my wife completely and she broke that. Also, my wife has sworn to me that I did nothing in our relationship to drive her to cheat. I'm hoping counseling brings out any underlying issues.
Does your WW realize that any of the kids could of walked in? Wow... Ivcould think of nothing worse, she needs to to be reminded of that anytime she considers drinking.... Oh, and she will want to drink again someday
Ok, so she was not remorseful right away (embarrassed then remorseful)... I don't think it changes the fact that this was not just some spontaneous act precipitated by alcohol. It very may well have been the first time this went physical, but I find it hard to believe that there as not an EA going on prior.
So again not to pick on you too much, but if you were the mostly sober one watching after the kids, how come you did not go to the room where your daughter was playing to check on her?
Throughout the evening, I checked on the kids multiple times, as did the OM's wife, as did my wife, and the OM. A couple of times, I went to check on the kids where my wife and the OM were in there checking on them too. That fact, combined with the trust built in 12 years of marriage was why I wasn't concerned throughout the night when they'd walk off. And just like that, the trust is shattered.
I appreciate your comments that this was not my fault. I trusted my wife completely and she broke that. Also, my wife has sworn to me that I did nothing in our relationship to drive her to cheat. I'm hoping counseling brings out any underlying issues.
Does your WW realize that any of the kids could of walked in? Wow... So so wrong
Oh yes, I pointed that out to her. And, in my anger, made her feel like sh#t about it. I'm not going to lie, my wife has been a fantastic mother, but I told her that she needs to set a better example for our daughter.
Oh yes, I pointed that out to her. And, in my anger, made her feel like sh#t about it. I'm not going to lie, my wife has been a fantastic mother, but I told her that she needs to set a better example for our daughter.
And because she's been such a great mother, her judgement around her has always been very sound. That's why the fact she took this event into an unlocked bathroom next to my daughter's room leads me to believe alcohol was a big factor. But I still don't think alcohol is an excuse and I told her this. No alcohol should make a person act like that to someone they love and cherish.
For some reason I don't feel like his wife had "anything" with this man prior to this event. Her reaction to being caught is of someone being black-out drunk. This wasn't pre planned. Regarding the convo, if your wife confessed that she cheated too, why would she bring up this conversation in the first place and get herself into more trouble?
I think we're jumping from 0 to 60 too quickly.
Very well could be the case..BUT..shes was obviously a little to comfortable..ecspecially if she was able to do that in her house with her husband sitting right in the other room.i just feel that she has done it before and hasent gotten caught so therefore she felt she wouldent get caught again! but this is JUST my opinion! I think that feeling_bad needs to take a break from his wife..and pack up his things and go and stay with a friend or in a hotel or make her one or the other! He DEFFENTLY needs some time alone! Some times to think this over! some times to even investigate! Some time to pray! once this happens in a marriage it is SO HARD to get over it! Take it from me! My husband cheated on me! 4 years ago..i stuck it out..BUT i will NEVER EVER trust him EVER again..i ALWAYS wonder was there more that happened then what hes telling me! There her story, his story and THEN the truth!
I know you are focused on last night -- but have you asked her about the party 2 weeks ago with OM's wife said they were flirting. Just wondering !!
I have asked my wife and OM's wife about it. Both say nothing happened but some playful flirting. My wife is like that when she's drunk, flirty and horny. Because I know how my wife is, I would never be cool with her hanging out with another guy alone if booze were involved. My wife has agreed to never drink again, unless it is just her and I. My wife is a social drinker, but on those rare times she drinks, she obviously takes it too far. If she doesn't respect my wish to not drink again, I will demand she get professional help.
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Re: Bad night 
