Unsure in Seattle

To me, yeah, it's inconsiderate. It's not about a curfew- it's about rolling inat 4am with no regard. You like being hit on when you''re a married woman? I dunno- if I was your hubby, I'd be pretty bummed to read that.

Hope1964

hotdogs, they're talking about wives who have cheated and STILL do the GNO.

My opinion is that GNO are not something that belong in a marriage, cheating or no, but I realize many women won't agree with me.

When I say GNO I mean getting dressed up in fvck me boots and not much else and going to the meat market/clubs and grinding your girlfriends on the dance floor. GNO does not include going out for dinner with your girlfriends.

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Feeling_bad

That seems like a sound theory, but I've recently learned it doesn't work. Well maybe it does for some.

hotdogs

Actually no, the hitting on part makes me giggle and giggle only that was my point. I politely say I'm married and a gentlemen will p!ss off but sometimes I get a dooshbag who asks "is it a happy marriage?" and that's when I say yes and walk away. Guys who do that really annoy the you know what out of me.

But I can see your point, if the situation were reversed I wouldn't like my husband coming in at 4am.

Regret214

in my opinion, having been there/ done that and gone too far...a married woman or man us subject to inappropriate behavior when there is alcohol involved and the spouse is not present. why take that chance?GNOs andBNOs area recipe for disaster.
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Shooboomafoo

I dont understand that either. My ex and a number of her toxic friends would go out, and let guys buy them drinks and talk and flirt. If I were to say something, "I" was the controlling arse.
Until the one time the guy followed her and her friend home to her house, and didnt like being played all night at the bar.
Her friend had to call the police, but you know what? Even that didnt make any sense to them in terms of their own behavior.

To dress up, go out with the girls, "appear" available for the purpose of tying one on at the expense of single dudes shows a complete lack of respect for their marriage or relationship at all. To me, that defines "w4ore".

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Kasler

[QUOTE=hotdogs;1004858]Is that how you guys really feel? That a married woman has no business being out past 1am? We need curfews now?

I'm just curious because my husband has been really pissed when I roll in at 4am. I'm not sure if I should be annoyed and that he is controlling or if I am just inconsiderate. I don't want to be inconsiderate. I just like having a night off twice a month or so and I get carried away...next thing you know we're all at the strip club putting singles in g-strings... (female strippers btw)

It's honestly just girls being girls. We get wild, we get hit on and giggle when it happens but that's all. I've never been out with the girls and one has decided "oh yes, I'm going home with this skeeze I just met because he bought me wine all night!" I don't think it's as common as y'all think. BUT none of us have cheated or anything like that so I dunno.[/QUOTE

Its not a curfew, its respecting your spouses wishes and emotions.

Its boundaries and respecting your spouse. If your husband is okay with your deeply late night excursions, that'd be fine(although he isn't)

Boundaries also help keep spouses out situations their SO isn't comfortable with. An example, how would you like it if your husband says hes going out with the guys to a real skeezy strip club with a reputation of the girls giving 'extra' service, and hes says he'll get home when he gets there?

He may not feel hes in danger of cheating, but you most likely wouldn't feel comfortable with him being surrounded by women of loose morals and alcohol.(Like how he doesn't feel comfortable his wife coming home past 4am in the morning)

Many men and women are uncomfortable with late night excursions.

Ocurrences like this are very common:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/private...band-left.html

^ Thats a nightmare no should ever have to go through

So its understandable a spouse could be uncomfortable with it.

Boundaries go for both spouses. My GF doesn't really like me out of the home past midnight. Before we got together I'd usually be hanging out with friends till whenever, but she feels strongly about it and I respect that and make sure to be home before then, or at least call and let her know why if I'm not.

When someone is in a serious relationship, the other spouses wishes and boundaries have to be considered in nearly everything.

A married person regardless of gender shouldn't be acting like they're single, period.

A drunken flirt could lead to a 6 month affair which could in turn lead to a messy divorce.(and most people don't EVER think they'd be a cheater until the OM is pulling up his pants or the OW is buttoning up her blouse)

donny64

My W does GNO's at her discretion, which is typically once a month or so. But she's home between 10 and 12 typically at the latest. She comes rolling in at 4 a.m., we're gonna have some issues. Some real issues. That is just plain inconsiderate and a complete overstepping of boundaries, IMO. If that's what she wants, she needs to be single again.

I'm out a little more. We have a standing happy hour every week for years. I'm typically home by 9 or 10. There is no good reason I can think of to stay out much later without her there. I can't imagine being so careless with her feelings that I'd come rolling in at 4 in the morning. She'd probably be a little pizzed, and she'd have every right to be. It gives the appearance of possible inappropriate behavior, and that is sufficient cause alone to be pizzed in my book. She can talk, drink, and even flip a few bills in the direction of a stripper, but she should be home at a decent hour. Nothing good will come out of such loose boundaries(4 am arrival times), so why do it?
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the guy

My wife has slept with enough guys behind my back that I know with out a doubt that if she even asked for a GNO it would be over.

Its a consequences she can face if she wants her marriage, cuz I'm done...no more! After 13 years and 20 OM I have had enough of those "GNO"

I'm no longer affraid of losing someone I love. I am no longer going to get a guilt trip so she can go out and get some strange. I am no longer going to be labeled controlling just cuz I want to protect my marriage. I am no longer going to let her do what she wants while I do what I want.

Don't walk behind me, don't wake infront of me, but walk next to me.

I will not control her it will always be har choice for a GNO just like it is my choice to let her go and leave the marriage.

MAKINGSENSEOFIT2

There's no reason for a married person to be coming home at 4AM from a night out with the girls.

Jellybeans

I love the word "dumbassery"

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hotdogs

It's good to hear this from others. It's an eye opener for sure.
Now if I could just get my husband to stop flirting with every woman he meets we'd have a great marriage!
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Runs like Dog

Why not. They're big people. Just don't wake me up drunkenly crashing around the house and singing. And don't pass out in the driveway with the engine running.

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MAKINGSENSEOFIT2

Because if people want to live the single life than don't get married.

MAKINGSENSEOFIT2

Communication is key. Let him know you don't like it and it hurts you. If there's no regard for you feelings after letting them be known than you have a problem.