First thing, just to let you know, you may want to prepare yourself for some "less than friendly" responses, because the vast majority of people who post here are in your husband's shoes (the Loyal Spouse) and very few are the one who was Disloyal. As you might imagine, the replies can be a little harsh due to the hurt they suffered. If someone is harsh to you, take it with a grain of salt and keep this in mind--but if someone gets disrespectful or calls you names, you do not need to put up with that. Please just report that person using the little button (it looks like a triangle and an !) and let the moderators take care of it. Okay?
Second, I've been in your shoes. I know what it's like to crave, and I mean literally CRAVE, your husband's attention as if he enjoys you. I also know what it's like to be shocked-stunned-amazed when someone else finds you interesting and fun! But I speak to you now with your best interests in mind. This just CAN NOT go well, nor will it fix the problem. You will end up destroying the one man you promised to love faithfully, and who promised the same to you. You will end up destroying your children who won't be able to be with their mommy and daddy every night to say goodnight. You will destroy your OM's family. You will also destroy your parents and siblings (as they lose half the time with their grandchild or niece/nephew) and your husband's parents and siblings. You will also destroy your own reputation and the reputation of the OM.
The problem is that you crave your husband's positive attention. You want him to see you enter the room and smile. You want him to WANT to talk to you and enjoy you and desire you. Right? You don't solve that by looking elsewhere. That just adds MORE trouble and makes things WORSE!!
Want to really fix it? You are going to have to gather your courage, find a babysitter, and take your husband out somewhere somewhat private (like on a drive), and tell him that recently you've been tempted...SORELY tempted...by someone else. Tell him about the guy in the class and that you will be dropping out of that class to protect your marriage and not hurt him--but that now it has made you aware of how much you have lost in your marriage. Tell him you want to get that blaze of passion back, and that you realize you have BOTH started to neglect some things that add fuel to the fire...and you BOTH have done things that put the fire out! Then let him know that you are willing to work on your side and doing the things that turn him on and relighting that fire, and ask if he is willing to work on his side of doing things to turn you on and relighting your fire...to build a strong fence around your marriage.
Regarding the class and the OM--I'm sorry but the cost of allowing yourself to slip a little into an emotional affair is that you are going to have to drop out of that class today. Right now. No I mean it--right now!!
Then you are going to have to go No Contact with the Other Man and never, Ever, EVER speak to him or see him again. There are two things I'd recommend that you click on and read right away: The Purpose of No Contact
and Sample No Contact Letters
. After you have read them, contact school to drop out, then sit down and write your No Contact Letter tonight and give it to your husband so he can mail it with a little "note" from him.
And yep, you give your husband the OM's address. Do not keep one little tiny thing secret from your husband. NOTHING! Because a marriage means two people who are willing to show themselves intimately to each other. Your husband is the one man on the earth who has the right to know all about you--your thoughts and your feelings and your fears and everything--because he has promised to spend his lifetime loving you. I know it's scary but the more open you are and let him see everything, the better it will be.
Now, AnnieAsh, you can do this. You know, somewhere in your heart of hearts, that you are not the kind of woman to cheat. DO NOT destroy your family--do the right thing while you still can. ANY help I can offer, I offer.