Re: The Truth
I am sorry about your situation... So I am coming from the WS perspective... yes I was the WH... However I am also the lucky one for my beautiful wife. She put me through (as I have described before) a fierce storm, but when it was over, we built back a marriage that is so much closer than ever before (I know that this is the minority case). I still feel the pain of wearing the scarlet letter of a cheater... my wife married a cheater and I hang my head in utter shame for my transgression. This is the feeling your wife should have had and continue to have, not you taking the burden for her... that is what you are doing. She needs to bear her cross, not you take it for her.
First off, the feeling of shock that you had on D-Day was totally appropriate, however after that stage, you needed to put her through a form of penance. I can tell you right now, by not having put everything on the table right up front, it did neither of you any good. Yes, it is even good for the cheater to put it all out there. I was so reluctant to do this, because of the shame, but in the end it was a cathartic experience. She needs to understand that holding back is not just hurting you but is no good for her either (again from the cheaters perspective).
I certainly wish you the best.