MattMatt

A not uncommon part of the cheater's script is when the WS says to their BS: "You need someone better than me to be married to!"

This might be what they really think, or just something they are saying to hopefully get you to f&&& off and find that better person, ASAP.

However, the best answer, no matter what their motive, could be: "No. I don't need someone better than you to be married to, I need a better YOU to be married to!"

Left With 4.5

My WS told me that exact line. I couldn't think of a reply then, but I should have said what you wrote.

CanadianGuy

"perhaps you're right"

BookOfJob

I got the same da*n line from the wife. That was more than 6 months ago. Didn't know that this line is straight from the cheater's script. Someone keeping that script should update the list of popular lines.

In retrospect, though, I did take the time to digest the statement and it dawned on me *slowly* what's going on in her head.

The script definitely needs updating...

deejov

I've heard this... and it's an excuse to turn it back on you.
I answer with this:
They don't have the right to decide what's best for you.
That's up to you.
You decide what you want, it's your life and they don't make your decisions.

Count of Monte Cristo

To my ex's credit, she told me that she couldn't be the kind of wife that I wanted her to be.

(Which, although it seems like just another way of saying 'you need someone better for you', is really very different.)

hookares

My ex never told me that. She still thinks that me letting her back would be a bargain for me.
Since splitting with her, I've had women who our only contact was lunch and meeting who have looked far more appealing, knowing what I know now.

MattMatt

Actually, what your wife said sounds like it might be true. Sad, but true. Realising that you really aren't what your spouse needs or deserves? Hmm. Interesting.

Shaggy

How about

"That's true I do. All that stands between what I have now and that person is you choosing to honor your vows and to choose to be the wife that I deserve"

B1

Yep, I heard that one also.
When I heard it she was deep into the A (I didn't know it at the time), we had a bad argument and she said "You deserve better". I said "Your right, I do deserve better."

I like your line better mat.

I believe I also heard it after Dday, but I don't recall what I said.

__________________
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

“I want happiness!” - - B1. Married nearly 29 years to EI, my Wife. Working on reconciliation since May, 2012.

Labcoat

You go right-the-f*ck-out and start trying to do it. Granted, my d-day was after only 4 months of being engaged.

But my point is this: I think a lot of cheaters tend to over value themselves. They think that, if you are a "6" they are a "8" and deserve better. OP tends to perpetuate this even thought they are just looking for a willing partner. But what WS is actually saying is, "go find another '6.'"

Eventually, it all comes crashing down when they realize that their AP was just looking for something convenient. And if you did it right, you may have actually found someone better in the meantime. Hopefully, you get to say, "I finally listened to you, sweetheart. I found someone better!"

*waiting patiently for that day*

Labcoat

Its actually worse than that. I used this same bit of bull**** back in college when I was trying to break up with a girl due to my interest in another girl. I wasn't cheating, but looking back, I'm so embarrassed at that armature BS.

A word of caution... I've heard of some loyal women saying YDSB as a ****ty sort of test, to see how you handle it. The right answer is, "those pants DO make your ass look big."

Acabado

It's not more than a different version of the ILYBIANILWY with a spin of guilty trip and a cop out to inform your he/she is not willing (not unable, unwilling) to put any effort to right the wrong.

__________________
Mal de muchos, consuelo de tontos

MattMatt

Or an indication that, yes, indeed, low self-esteem can be part of the flaws that shift some people toward cheating.

Vegemite

Not long after Dday, my CW said to me " I just want my husband back"

I said " Well I want a new wife. But you can be that new wife"

I gave her the chance to re-invent herself. She's really struggled to get there though.