How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 08-28-2012, 02:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

About us - Late twenties and married 6 years with 2 kids ages 5 and 3.

A little while ago, I caught my husband downloading really creepy porn. The creepy thing is that the girls look young. I know its common (although irritating IMO) for men to idealize high school aged girls but the pictures were of very skinny, flat chested, innocent looking, no make-up girls. Some of the girls looked like they were 10!

I realize my propensity towards overreacting so I asked a couple of guy friends and they agreed that several of the pictures looked legal but several also looked ILLEGAL and creepy.

I confronted him saying if I ever saw anything like this ever again, I would divorce him and report him to the police and tell everyone he knew. He totally minimizes it and rolls his eyes saying I'm over-reacting.
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I should mention that I don't care about porn at all.. I've watched it with him, with out him... It doesn't bother me at all. We have different sleeping schedules and I know he beats off before he goes to bed and he watches it on his iphone. Again, this doesn't bother me and he doesn't hide this either. I've walked in on him a few times too.. again no big deal.

Today I had something to tell him before he went to sleep so I walked in on him, said what I needed to say and then I asked to see his phone. He said no and then deleted the history. He said it's embarrassing and that he deserved privacy and I'm like "Ummmm no! You lost your right to privacy when I found what I did and I clearly stated that if you want to be married to me that this is the way it had to be. I don't hide anything from you!"

I'm done worrying about it. I need to know if my husband is a pedofile. Is there a way I can hack into his iphone to record the history or recover deleted history with out him knowing?

What happens if he is?
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

I also looked into breaking into my wife's iphone to do some spying but unfortunately the phone must be jail broken inorder to install a spyware.
As for the teen or whatever porn I think you need to speak to specialist together on that subject.
But if you guys share a laptop you can install a keylogger which can record every password he types and sites visited etc...
Maybe purchase something and set him up!
I just installed a keylogger on my Mac but my wife has not yet used the laptop.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

Yes please let me know what you find. The link in my signature should take you to a thread that will help. there is a iphone backup program. If you think it is real. Please PM me the url links so I can get them to the proper authorities who shut those sites don.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

I don't think you can hack into his phone...

Do you know of any pass codes he has used in front of you before? If you get into his phone, go into settings, safari, then scroll down to advanced, click on website data. it will show you what sites he's been visiting..so long as he hasn't cleared cookies and history.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

I will say this is from a guy's perspective who has been addicted to porn at various times. It really does feel like a personal thing because he was likely doing this since quite young, long before he met you. It's his personal fantasy world that is not easy to share with others, even you. My wife has watched porn with me before but its not the same.

When you watch lots of porn over long periods of time you crave novelty. It is equivalent to a drug that loses its strength and you have to up the dosage. He is likely not a fullblown pedophile just someone who needs to keep pushing the boundaries to get him aroused. This I know from experience. He CAN drop it and not crave it again. You might even find he wants to see other wierd things like girls peeing or girls performing beastiality or whatever and what turns him on now might get old and he'll move on to something else thats on the edge.

Its not that he wants to participate in these acts necessarily. The voyeurism is a turn on and the inappropriateness is also.

I went through a phase of looking at wierd stuff cause the normal stuff didnt satisfy my curiosity. I got over it and am not interested anymore. Dont shame him about it. Understand it and tell him you don't think it's healthy and if he cant stop on his own he should get help.

Also, if he is deeply addicted to porn his full sexual energy is not focused on you. I was like this with my wife for a few month period. She may not have known this but I wasnt as excited to have sex with her. Getting off the addiction and getting kinky with my wife has made porn obsolete for me. All I wanna do is go down all my wife now. that satisfies my kinkiness.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

oh an I am also late twenties, married 5 years , 2 kids aged 5 and 2.

Make sex exciting and ask him to hold off on masturbating to make your sex more exciting. If you can both hold off from pleasuring yourselves for a few days then he will want to release all his kink on you. Be okay with this and get dirty with him. lol
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

I also wouldnt consider this something for the infidelity section but rather sex in marriage. He has a personal addiction to porn that he needs to first accept and then get help with if he cant stop. I know for a fact if my wife had found me looking at things I was embarassed of it would have shocked me into stopping. Not out of guilt but out of embarassment.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

HappyHubby - I'm aware that boys and porn come hand in hand and that most people have fantasies that they are probably uncomfortable sharing with their spouse (I know I do too) but I can not tolerate any form of child pornography. Yes I would be weirded out if he was watching beastiality porn (especially since my job revolves around animals lol) or midget porn or whatever but I wouldn't divorce him over that. I saw that episode of southpark where internet shuts down and Randy sneaks in and starts looking up Brazilian fart porn and I get it... but not this. I warned him.. and I need to know if he's crossed that line.

My husband is kinda tech savvy and I've checked.. he completely erases the evidence of porn.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I don't think you can hack into his phone...

Do you know of any pass codes he has used in front of you before? If you get into his phone, go into settings, safari, then scroll down to advanced, click on website data. it will show you what sites he's been visiting..so long as he hasn't cleared cookies and history.
Have you tried this? Most people don't even realize it exists
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

Well fair enough. but think of it this way. you ALREADY KNOW he's looked at childlike porn (preteen, 13, 14 maybe) . You know he's gotten off on it. You saw the pics. Why haven't you divorced him out of principal? Because you know things are not that black and white... and he has the ability to stop doing this.

The question is, what is the best way to get him to stop and help him with his problem. Because thats what this is. A mental issue that can be resolved and forgetten in the past. Maybe ultimatum of D is not the best way.. ?? maybe it is?

Just maybe the best thing to do is not to follow your own knee-jerk society approved responses or to do as TAM says but to talk to REAL experts that understand these addictions. A specialist. A more fair ultimatum would be, see specialist about it or D. Not stop or D. Stopping may be a process??? perhaps? and its his legit effort in this process that you should guage.

What'ya think?
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:47 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

but I do agree that looking at underage porn is not acceptable and must stop. I just dont think you should throw him under the bus just yet.

This addiction is embedded from over a decade of porn use. He may want to stop but is having a hard time. read up on the subject from experts. dont take my word for it
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:50 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

I don't think he is addicted.. he just watches it before he goes to sleep. He also doesn't NEED it to go to sleep though.. there are nights when we go to bed at the same time and he doesn't watch it (nor have sex with me for whatever reason).

We have sex a couple times a week on a regular basis and I don't think that is really the issue.
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Old 08-28-2012, 04:09 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hm.. nooot necessarily. I never stopped having sex with my wife but I was still addicted. Addicted doesnt mean everyday or all the time. It didnt for me. It was when I was alone and nobody could watch me and when that mental desire creeped in to see something inappropriate I couldnt say "no" to myself.

Its this inability to have complete self control over the urges whether they come once a week or everyday that is the problem. I think he needs to be able to talk to someone who wont judge him so that he can REALLY let go of them. Sometimes holding it all in is what makes the urges so hard to resist. Again, I strongly advise more professional advice. If you are not educated in these matters with a professional degree dont think you can analyze the situation or your husband better than someone who is. I advise understanding over moral judgement.

If he is not willing to accept the problem and do something about it THEN you have a legit beef. Ur married. Hes not perfect. Remember: Better or worse. He can likely cut it out if he tries and has an ounce of common sense intelligence.
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Old 08-28-2012, 04:10 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

But yes you DO have every right to demand he stop and make every effort to do so. If he cant on his own, he should get help.
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Old 08-28-2012, 05:08 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to I see my husbands deleted history on iphone?

Now I'm just asking so please don't get upset.....could it be gay porn
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