Re: I didn't cheat, but understandable she thinks I did.
I also never mentioned any of the things that drove me to think about going to a site like this. It isn't jus thypo thyroidism, it has always been something, (she was only recently diagnosed.) she was ptsd then this and then that, always stopping meds after a while. She told me once to get a mistress if I was so sexually unsatisfied, shortly after I told her once every other month was a problem. This hurt me soooo bad, I felt like she was saying, you are just cheaper rent to me. I know that's probably not what she meant, but it hurts all the same. The most recent was this last friday I made babysitting arrangements, I made arrangements to work a morning shift.
I tricked her into thinking I just had early errands to run,
I made reservations at tucci's
I suprised her at work, while I was on the phone with her (on my imaginary break) with flowers
and had makeup a change of clothes, hair stuff, and her car out front waitingI took her for coffee, then shopping for shoes and a book for her, then to dinner
and bought her 80$ worth of italian food and the like
half or so was mind
and then after all that we got home an hour before we were due to pick the kids up, and she only wanted to read
not even talk with me or anything
I don't know if it's on purpose
but I feel so damn alone right now
**** like this has been going on (to varying degrees) for 3 years
and so I did what I did
I won't justify it I just want my wife to love me, and to feel loved in return. NOw I feel like I ruined all chance, what do I do.,,,...