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Old 09-12-2012, 02:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

This is the 3rd month that I have been browsing these forums and now it's time to get some help. We have tried and tried to fix this marriage and it is to the point that I am the only one trying. The camel's back was broken when I agreed to a 3 way with my wife and I was humiliated. Also, I wasn't sure if this was best to post this here or in the sex forum. If this is not the correct place, please move for me.

Sex has been pretty horrible for me and my wife. We have only been married 5 years and for the first 3, sex was great. My wife's sex drive all of a sudden decreased and she had little to no interest in sex. My sex drive soon followed and I never really recovered. She also stopped giving me oral sex about 2 years ago. For the past two years, our sex life has consisted of me giving her oral and me receiving a hand job in return. It wasn't my ideal arrangement but we both were able to climax with this arrangement.

My wife suggested that we try to do some new things to try to rekindle our sex life. She made it seem that I would have some say in what we should do but she had her heart set on having 3 way sex. On top of that, she wanted the 3rd person to be a man from her job. I really didn't feel right doing this but at the same time, I wanted her to be happy. I never suspected her of cheating but I asked her what she knew about the guy. She said that he was a sex guru and he could help to spice up our sex life. I agreed out of desperation.

We had the 3 way last week and it was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing that I ever did in my life. Throughout the entire session, my wife paid more attention to him than me. The only thing good about it was that I saw that she was happy. After about 30 minutes in, she began to give him oral sex. I stopped her and asked how she could do that to him when she didn't do that to me anymore. She said that she wanted to do new things and this is what she wanted. It was very awkward and he just looked at me with a smirk. I was pissed and didn't want to participate anymore.

Some part of me wanted to leave but I couldn't. I also woke up and wondered why the hell I ever agreed with this in the first place. I just laid down on the bed while they continued to have sex. They were then standing on the side of the bed having sex while I was laying there. I watched some more and then turned my head the other way. Without warning, I felt something warm across my back. I had no idea what it was but I knew it wasn't right. By the time I turned around, my wife was laughing hysterically and her co-worker was trying not to laugh. It only took a few seconds to realize that he shot his load all over my back.

This is the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. My wife enjoyed herself and said I shouldn't worry about it. I feel that they somehow set me up and the way that they looked at each other, I think they may have been together before. Now she is living happy and wants to do it again. I wanted to work on our sex life/marriage but now I'm not too sure. Is this some sort of phase she is going through? She is 46 and I just turned 43. I can accept that maybe I can't satisfy her sexually anymore but I can't help but to think that she told him to do that to me. Does this sound like a marriage worth fighting for or should I listen to my gut and believe that she is sleeping with him behind my back and I should pursue a divorce?
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

DEFCON 6

SHE IS TRYING TO CUCKOLD YOU

Get the hell out of that marriage ASAP.

Him shooting on you was NO accident, hence the laughing.

She wants you to be her financial meal ticket and sexually subservient. If you ever did it again, she may tell you how it would turn her on to watch you suck off the other guy.

She has no respect for you.

This is no phase. This is an incredibly selfish, perverted, and vindictive woman and you need to divorce her, before she robs you of the partial self respect and worth as a human being that you have left.

Because honestly, why you did not beat the **** out of that guy after what he did worries me that it may already be too late for you self respect wise.

At this point, you don't have a marriage. If you allow this then she has a bill of ownership, item within being you.

And yes ITEM, not human being.

Last edited by Kasler; 09-12-2012 at 02:55 AM.
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

I really wanted to kick his ass but they just acted like it was normal and my wife told me later that I killed the mood. They were trying to make me out to be the bad guy. She doesn't make much on her job and it probably wouldn't affect us financially if she quit tomorrow simply because I run my own business. She wanted to get her own job with her own friends so I let her because I didn't want to seem like I was smothering her.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:04 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

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Originally Posted by john1969 View Post
I really wanted to kick his ass but they just acted like it was normal and my wife told me later that I killed the mood. They were trying to make me out to be the bad guy. She doesn't make much on her job and it probably wouldn't affect us financially if she quit tomorrow simply because I run my own business. She wanted to get her own job with her own friends so I let her because I didn't want to seem like I was smothering her.
Where are your balls? In this whole post I see no rage, no decision, no nothing, just meaningless crap.

Who gives a fvck about her job? All that sh!t isn't important. What is important is to not stay married to someone who doesn't respect or show you intimacy.

You've been sexually stifled for years, and then sexually abused and you're mild like she burnt your toast or some other meaningless action.

Get angry

I wish Entropy could see this thread right now.


Question.

Yes or no answer only, no sentences, no excuses just one word

Do you want to be a cuckold?

Cuckold = Man whose wife completely disregards his needs, sexually abuses him(Your halfway there already) and openly sleeps with other men with impunity.

Yes?

Or

No?
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:10 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

No, that's not who I want to be. The thing is, I have a very bad temper. I was once married before and my temper would get out of control on the regular. It ended up costing me my marriage because my wife wouldn't take it anymore. It took a couple years of therapy but I have found peace. Since then, I have been less confrontational and my current wife may have take advantage of that. To answer your questions again, no, I don't want to be a cucold. I really don't want to go through divorce again but it seems that may be the only way.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

I wish this post is not a troll....

I cant stand this type of an event...
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

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Originally Posted by john1969 View Post
No, that's not who I want to be. The thing is, I have a very bad temper. I was once married before and my temper would get out of control on the regular. It ended up costing me my marriage because my wife wouldn't take it anymore. It took a couple years of therapy but I have found peace. Since then, I have been less confrontational and my current wife may have take advantage of that. To answer your questions again, no, I don't want to be a cucold. I really don't want to go through divorce again but it seems that may be the only way.
You're saying no but your not meaning it.

You don't want to be her cuckolded husband, but you don't want to go through divorce?

"it seems that may be the only way." Noncommittal and wishy-washy sentiment, won't work thinking like this

You keep that attitude up you as good as got a leash around your neck already.

If you're not 100% and with you being non confrontational, you may say you'll file for divorce, but she'll just lure you in with sweet words and a few nights of good sex.

She'll then have you even more around her finger than she does already, and then a few weeks or a month down the line her Bull(cuckold term) will be coming back for round 2 expecting you use your back as a landing strip again.

Get out of the marriage, thats all there is to it.

No separation, no "I need space"

Call a lawyer, and listen to what the man is saying and then file.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

STOP.
STOP.. For the love of..

Listen. What you agreed to is an extreme and nasty. It is part of a very evil version of an affair.

You are being abused by her.

She knows this guy
She has had sex with him many times
She wanted YOU to witness it.
He wanted you to witness it.
He shot his load on you because she wants him to.
She wants to humiliate you.


Okay. Enough of that. YOU. HAVE to protect yourself and right now.

You book yourself into to a Psychologist tomorrow

You tell her that never happens again and you expect a BJ tonight and it better be good!
Lets see her reaction..

She never sees this guy again.

You pull a hard 180 immediately.

You have to man up in a VERY big way whatever happens
Read "No More More Nice Guy"
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

Wow. I am rarely left speechless, but the actions of your WW have done that to me.

Okay, first off. You need to reach down and find your balls. Women are generally not attracted to a person who can not stand up for themselves. It's unflattering to you. As a man.

Man. He finished on you. You need to get mad at that. You need to react to what your wife is doing. She talked you into a threesome with her AP. Then, she had him utterly emasculate you.

So. Man up. Don't take her crap. You've been to therapy to cool your anger, and she has used it to turn you into a cuckold. But, you are going to have to get angry.

I really don't see a path to R here. There is absolutely no remorse on her part. In fact, she went behind your back to arrange another 3some with this man.

Stop it here. Don't engage in anything you feel uncomfortable with. Set boundaries that include not participating in an open relationship. Stick to them. If she comes along, great. But I wouldn't count on it.

After all, this is one of the worst cases of disrespect that I saw on here, yet.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

It seems that sex is the root of all our problems. Everything else in the marriage is ok but no extraordinary. Do you think it's worth getting a divorce over sex? I'm asking because I'm browsing the sex in marriage forums and it would seem that some couples are doing just fine with piss poor sex lives.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

Please don't waste poster's time. Are you taking a creative writing class or what ? You come up with a story every couple of days.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:29 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by john1969 View Post
It seems that sex is the root of all our problems. Everything else in the marriage is ok but no extraordinary. Do you think it's worth getting a divorce over sex? I'm asking because I'm browsing the sex in marriage forums and it would seem that some couples are doing just fine with piss poor sex lives.
Yep your her cuckold, I think you just may not have realized it yet.

So, you think getting a divorce or even any kind of action because she emasculated you, humiliated you, sexually abused you is no big deal?

And from what I read, you think what happened to you just warrants a shrug of the shoulders.

I see no anger, no conviction, just a man whose been pissed on(literally as well) trying desperately to convince himself it was just a little bit of rain.

I also think this story might just some guy trolling.

Even if it is true tho,

I'm outta here, I refuse to stomach the woes of a cuckold in denial.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:29 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

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This is the 3rd month that I have been browsing these forums and now it's time to get some help. We have tried and tried to fix this marriage and it is to the point that I am the only one trying. The camel's back was broken when I agreed to a 3 way with my wife and I was humiliated. Also, I wasn't sure if this was best to post this here or in the sex forum. If this is not the correct place, please move for me.

Sex has been pretty horrible for me and my wife. We have only been married 5 years and for the first 3, sex was great. My wife's sex drive all of a sudden decreased and she had little to no interest in sex. My sex drive soon followed and I never really recovered. She also stopped giving me oral sex about 2 years ago. For the past two years, our sex life has consisted of me giving her oral and me receiving a hand job in return. It wasn't my ideal arrangement but we both were able to climax with this arrangement.

My wife suggested that we try to do some new things to try to rekindle our sex life. She made it seem that I would have some say in what we should do but she had her heart set on having 3 way sex. On top of that, she wanted the 3rd person to be a man from her job. I really didn't feel right doing this but at the same time, I wanted her to be happy. I never suspected her of cheating but I asked her what she knew about the guy. She said that he was a sex guru and he could help to spice up our sex life. I agreed out of desperation.

We had the 3 way last week and it was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing that I ever did in my life. Throughout the entire session, my wife paid more attention to him than me. The only thing good about it was that I saw that she was happy. After about 30 minutes in, she began to give him oral sex. I stopped her and asked how she could do that to him when she didn't do that to me anymore. She said that she wanted to do new things and this is what she wanted. It was very awkward and he just looked at me with a smirk. I was pissed and didn't want to participate anymore.

Some part of me wanted to leave but I couldn't. I also woke up and wondered why the hell I ever agreed with this in the first place. I just laid down on the bed while they continued to have sex. They were then standing on the side of the bed having sex while I was laying there. I watched some more and then turned my head the other way. Without warning, I felt something warm across my back. I had no idea what it was but I knew it wasn't right. By the time I turned around, my wife was laughing hysterically and her co-worker was trying not to laugh. It only took a few seconds to realize that he shot his load all over my back.

This is the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. My wife enjoyed herself and said I shouldn't worry about it. I feel that they somehow set me up and the way that they looked at each other, I think they may have been together before. Now she is living happy and wants to do it again. I wanted to work on our sex life/marriage but now I'm not too sure. Is this some sort of phase she is going through? She is 46 and I just turned 43. I can accept that maybe I can't satisfy her sexually anymore but I can't help but to think that she told him to do that to me. Does this sound like a marriage worth fighting for or should I listen to my gut and believe that she is sleeping with him behind my back and I should pursue a divorce?
do you have any children younger than 16-18? If not, get out asap, your wife seems like she has had the "sex guru" before... total disrespect.

I feel sorry that you are here, you need to find a partner who will respect you.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:39 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

How did she already no the OM was great in bed? Let me get this correct your wife and her lover had sex while you watched. Then the man let it go all over your back. So your wife is cheating with her co- worker. She proved to the OM that you mean nothing to her. She gave the OM a BJ while you watched . The OM did your wife all in your face . But you still want to stay with your W. Sorry but is it just me or does this sound unreal. Come on what man will allow another man to sex his wife. If this is true ,your wife and her man (he is not the OM you are now) are still laughing at you.I have never heard of a man letting his wife do this mess.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:46 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce

Oh Dear!
Youve been made a complete *$$ of and there cannot be a a bigger or better way of doing it to someone.

Clearly this is a planned thing - youve accepted it and stayed there whilst they had a great time - she, clearly lved the turn on of humiliating you infront of him and HE did the same.

Ok So you say she wants another 3 way - GREAT tell her it has gto be a female this time and watch her reaction - be fair to her she can pick the female of even get a "lady of the night" paid for by you to come in and play. See how your W takes that - stick to it and dont move off it until she either agrees or does the noble and correct thing and packs her bags.

Buy a new lock(s) for the doors and get ready to change them. Start a new bank account and be ready to transfer your funds across and have the scissors ready to cut up her bank cards (preferably without her knowing). Then puchase a large roll of refuse sacks, bag up all her clothes and give them to a charity for people who need help and will appreaciate them.

And then a real good lawyer. Or you can sit there and let her make the biggest mug out of you ever.

Not having a good at you but - look at what others here are saying. PLEASE!
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