broder62

New girlfriend shared with me her "fantasy" is sex with a woman. I'm a guy, I should be thrilled, right? Ugh - no. I feel threatened by it. I see it as potentially cheating times two - men and women are now potential threats. At the same time, she made it clear "it's just a fantasy with no basis in reality". Someone please decode this line. Again, new relationship, don't want to jump the gun, we all have sexual fantasies and I don't want to judge someone/relationship on this because it may be just as I perceive mine - "never gonna happen, nor do I want it to" but.....I (just being honest and nothing against anyone else who feels differently), I just feel that sexual fantasies involving same sex - something isn't right in the mind. I can't understand it because I don't want that for myself so there is no way I can understand it from someone else. But, I'm trying to be really careful with my heart, this message, etc; - nervous about it. So, I thought I'd come to Ole Faithful (this forum) and help me figure out myself and this situation. I feel threat and fear.

donny64

I think a fair number (maybe not most, but a fair number) of women have that fantasy. If you feel it's a threat to you and you'd not be comfortable with her actually doing so, then there are ways to let her know that. But to be down on her because of a simple fantasy? I think you'd be shocked at just how many women have it, yet never pursue it. Some women have rape fantasies too. Doesn't mean they actually want to be raped.

Reciprocate with her by telling her about a fantasy of yours (threesome, sex in public, anal, whatever) and follow it up with "but...some things are better left fantasy". See what she says.

Best way to get her to "shut down" in the bedroom is to belittle or get on her about fantasies (assuming they're not truly perverted).

CleanJerkSnatch

Dump this broad and date someone who is down to earth and doesn't want to live in candy land fantasies.

How is that love, sharing the wife, and her sharing you. Use the search button and find a previous thread where a man did that with his wife and what he went through. There are plenty here for you to read.

RandomDude

Don't dump her, enjoy the opportunity! Still remember the first time I came to this city where I'm staying now and got picked up by two ladies who drove me back to their place and had their way with me. Was a great introduction, I'm surprised it even happened.

My wife is also (I SWEAR!!!) bisexual-in-denial. But mate, if she swings that way, even if it's a woman, it will be a cheat. No matter how much it turns me on, the love, the trust, the respect -> it's all gone. So... what's my advice?

GO WITH IT
Just don't do something stupid like fall for her or some crap. You're young! ENJOY! Too late for me, I'm a fking old bastard

But if you care about her, this will be the worst decision of your life.

MattMatt

I had a long term relationship with a woman in my mid 20s who was bisexual.

Eventually she left me for a woman. It left me feeling so broken I could not get up the courage to date for some years.

Kasler

What the hell are you talking about?

Just ignore this post please, didn't even answer your question OP.

Broder, if you feel threatened you should definitely have a serious sit down with her. I've heard that your woman leaving you for another woman is one of the most emasculating experiences a man can suffer.

I feel you are threatened. If you do nothing you'll just be worrying some of the time and may resent her.

No one can decode that line but her herself so you should confront her and have that serious talk. You don't need to be wondering when shes going to wake up a bisexual one day and is wanting to break up.

RandomDude

/end sarcasm fail

MattMatt

What upset me was well, losing her (30 years on I still have some feelings for her, though I haven't seen her since) but also because I knew there was nothing I could do to keep her.

Michie

If its a sexual fantasy its a fantasy, as your gf said no basis in reality.

We all have sex fantasies/dreams of being with someone of the same sex, its completely natural and does not apply to sex orientation in the majority of people.

Kasler

We don't know his GF so we don't know for sure. Rather than just assume and look thr other way, its best to be out front with it.

A man can be saying for years how he wants to have a threesome.

Most never act on it, a few do with some hired hookers.

Ya never can know how deep the fetish/fantasy goes unless directly asked.

costa200

She has an itch you can't scratch. Up to you if you want to manage it (be in it or something).

Define "we all"...

CandieGirl

If your gf's fantasy doesn't do it for you, the relationship is probably not going to work out. Take it for what it is, and if this person doesn't share the same values as you do, I wouldn't consider anything long term with her.

I personally do not have that type of same sex fantasy, although I did date a man for awhile who was trying to push me into that kind of lifestyle. I took it for what it was, and we didn't pursue anything long term. And to be honest, I think that if I'd followed through with his fantasy and brought another woman home with me one night, he would have been scared and gone and peed in the corner...LMAO!

chillymorn

lighten up francis, its a fantasy.

you might be one lucky dude she opened up to you now your turn to tell her one of yours....and make it a jucy one.

then put some lesbo porn on and have at it !!!!!!! sounds like fun to me.

Count of Monte Cristo

OP, for chrissake she's a NEW girlfriend. Are you looking to settle down with this woman? If you're not down with this then let her go and get another one that more conservative. At least this one is sharing her desires with you. (It's the ones that don't that you have to worry about because they'll cheat on you and do all kind of kinky stuff with their affair partners that they never let you do.)

Sbrown

If you are so insecure then do this chick a favor and don't waste her time. Dump her and let her move on to someone that will let her be her. You do realize that just because you don't understand where she is coming from that doesn't make it wrong, right?