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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 10-16-2012, 07:04 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Originally Posted by Maricha75 View Post
Would you care to explain what you mean by this? Do you mean talking sexually with someone online/texting them, but not meeting up in person. I, along with a few others I am sure, would like to hear what you are thinking here. If you are implying that chatting in such a manner with someone other than his wife is somehow "ok" or "not as bad as it could be"...I got news for you. It is JUST as devastating...and IS CHEATING!!
I know its cheating, I didn't say it isn't. I just want her to be aware that he may not physically be sticking his penis in another woman, but the attachment to the phone could be because of some other kind of relationship online. So looking out for signs as to where he is, who he's with, health concerns etc could be fruitless.
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:09 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

You kinda expect him not to be human by refusing to have sex with him though derby.. Also you're pretty secretive yourself. I would NEVER be angry at my boyfriend for checking my phone if he were insecure about something. You send up a lot of red flags.
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:15 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Originally Posted by derbygirl View Post
I haven't asked to use or see his phone. I think he would feel attacked if I did. As far as I know he doesn't lock his phone. I could be overreacting I guess. I would feel so guilty if I looked on his phone and found nothing. Besides, he is totally the type to erase messages. Ugh. This is so frustrating.
Just FYI... my husband doesn't lock his phone either. He never has. He still had an emotional affair. He was at the point where he didn't think I would care. So, if you think there may be something up...check. Just know that asking him outright is going to piss him off or he will get better at hiding what he is doing...IF it is inappropriate.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:21 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

Has anyone seen the reviews of the kik app? It seems as if people use it to sext.
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Old 02-21-2013, 01:10 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Hi Derby Girl.. If your husband is communicating via KIK does not mean he is doing anything bad. There would be other signs you would have noticed if he was having any type of relationship outside the marriage. Don't drive your self crazy worrying over this as this may just be an isolated event.
What other signs?
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:11 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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My husband spends a TON of time on his phone and he never leaves it lying around except when he's sleeping of course. One day however he was doing some stuff in the kitchen and had it charging on the counter. I came it for something and saw his phone light up and saw that it was a KIK message. I asked him what KIK was (I had never heard of it) and he explained it. I asked him why he would need free unlimited messaging through KIK when we have unlimited texting through our phone company. He changed the subject. I never saw who it was from and refuse to snoop on his phone; he's done it to me and it made me furious so if I do it, that would be a double standard. I have suspected he was up to something for a while. He's in the army and always seems to have CQ (overnight security basically) on Friday or Saturday night. He's ALWAYS on his phone texting. Am I just overreacting or should I be suspicious? Anyone wanna KIK my husband to see if he "bites", lol. Just kidding. Kinda.
Well I hate to tell you this. But I caught my wife on KIK this past summer and she was sending photos (nude) of herself to strange men. After I caught her she said she was just playing a "game" with them. She said that she was playing a game app on her iPhone and it had a chat app. A few of the men asked her to get on KIK as it does not show up on a phone bill. I not only caught my wife.....but I took screen shots of the chats and did a little detective work to find out the names of these mens' wives. I sent them the chats and screenshots as well. I can't stand cheaters. I can't stand men that think it is perfectly fine to pursue a married woman. There is no respect for the sanctity of marriage anymore.

I hate to tell you this, but KIK has one purpose......to text people that you don't want your spouse to find out about. I did not see ONE innocent "chat" on KIK that my wife had.

The question I have for you is what was on your phone that made you so irate about him getting on it? Sure, I believe in some relative privacy. But there should be very few secrets from your spouse if they are your best friend. My wife and I went to counseling, agreed on being open when it comes to our iPhones and computers, etc. She can log onto mine when she wants and I can log onto hers when she wants. We are open and honest now and our marriage has never felt so strong. But PM me if you want me to "bait" him.
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:42 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

To Deber girl:

If your Husband is acting weird and trying to change subjects when you openly bring up an issue that's hurting you than you have every right to ask for his phone or be more open in the relationship.

Marriage is not two people anymore it's a 1 person ball game you both should have everything open in your marriage.

You should able to use his phone, see all the bill statements, if there was nothing going on then there wouldn't be any problem with him aloowing you to use his phone even if it's to just make a call on it.

You need to shine light on this, and dig deeper in to his so called personal life, he personal life should be with you not his I phone.

Hope this helped
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:53 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Originally Posted by ubercoolpanda View Post
Has anyone seen the reviews of the kik app? It seems as if people use it to sext.
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Curiosity got the best of me so I downloaded the app. During the download the window popped up and said that the app may have content not suitable for those under 18. Why would a texting app have that disclosure?
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:56 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

My Husband never hid his work laptop from me, emails were there at the touch of a button.....his mobile was always out, unlocked, we never had FB....and he still cheated on me with 3 ONS.

So it means nothing if they leave everything lying around really, and it wasn't that he deleted stuff either....I just trusted him and it never crossed my mind to look. FOOL

I tell my younger sister now, trust your H but verify what he says. She still in the lovely dreamy state of 'he would never do that to me' But we all know he might!

If my H was so precious about his phone alarm bells would have been ringing loudly....you have a seed sown now, its going to grow so you need to know one way or another if he is cheating on you. Unless, of course you're not that bothered?

I always trusted my H 100%, probably because he never went any where without me, only work, he never went out with friends unless I was there, and he never spent money I didn't know about....but one day after hearing something about 'all men will cheat given the opportunity' i picked up his phone and there, bingo the first message to a female colleague was quite inappropriate flirting! Even the flirting shocked me as it seemed so out of character for him.

This lead me to snoop further and i found loads of inappropriate pictures and e-mails that had been sent to and from his colleagues. Finally I found an email from years before.....I played the long game in finding my evidence....and when I did, its fair to say, the $h1t hit the fan.

You have to check his phone! if I'd have checked my H emails or phone years before I could have nipped something in the bud before it got started!....and he'd been looking at loads of porn when in work too so do yourself a favor!
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:58 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Originally Posted by soccermom2three View Post
Curiosity got the best of me so I downloaded the app. During the download the window popped up and said that the app may have content not suitable for those under 18. Why would a texting app have that disclosure?
How would we know if our kids and OH have this app on their phones, is it easy to spot? or hidden from view?

Thanks in advance
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:15 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Default Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Originally Posted by LRgirl View Post
How would we know if our kids and OH have this app on their phones, is it easy to spot? or hidden from view?

Thanks in advance
It's not hidden from view. It has a icon. I went into the app, really nothing special.
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:26 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Default Why would my husband need a KIK account?

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Originally Posted by soccermom2three View Post
It's not hidden from view. It has a icon. I went into the app, really nothing special.
On iPhones, you can delete the icon but the app stays installed. To find and run it, swipe your finger to the right until you get all the way to the leftmost page which is the search page. Type the letters kik into the box and see if it comes up.
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:35 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Default Why would my husband need a KIK account?

I installed kik because my kids have kik on their iPods and I like to understand what tools they are using.

Also, one was receiving regrettable content from here friend and I needed to intervene.

I kept it and set up an account thinking the kids and I could text each other, but turns out we never have done it.

One problematic thing about kik here is its previous messages disappear permanently pretty quickly.

Please get over your concern about seeming to have a double standard, and change your standard to one accepting and demanding transparency.
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:48 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why would my husband need a KIK account?

That's the whole point of the app.

Any texts or photos you send disappear permanently a few seconds after they are read or viewed.

That way you can send photos or messages without the fear that they will be spread around or posted on facebook or the internet.

You know - party photos, drug use, nudity, etc. It's a pretty popular app among the younger crowd. Cheaters too, I guess
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:00 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by controlledchaos View Post
As a matter of principle, partners are entitled to their privacy. I cannot demand to see my wifes phone or read her emails, and I expect the same in return.
In your partnership maybe but not mine.
If I ask for my wifes phone she simply hands it over, if she refused we'd have a serious problem.
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