My wife has recently returned from an (unsuccessful) visit with her EAP. Although she claims they behaved themselves during this visit, and she is now done with this, I still have many reservations about how things will go from here on out.
She is going to her first counseling appointment today, and I am concerned that it will do harm rather than good. She will get to tell her side of the story to our counselor, who has already heard mine. When she returns, who knows what she will have to say about how it went. I have so many doubts about how this all might go, it's tearing me up inside.
I faithfully executed the 180 for several days after she returned, and then she started wanting to have hugs, and I guess some of you would call me a wuss, because I gave in. I love her so much, and want our R to work. So I don't want to throw obstacles in the way of that. For us to reconcile, we have to regain the intimacy I withheld from her for most of our marriage.
If I had to tender a question here for advice, I guess it would be; how far should you go, how much do you feel you should give to make R really work? If I were a complete harda$$, would it ever serve to draw us back together?
What she has given: Her agreement that the A is over, her willingness to engage in counseling, and ending our separation, which she requested initally. And her willingness to be physically close, which she had completely shut down during the period of our separation.