Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Like Tree17Likes
  • 14 Post By maincourse99
  • 1 Post By The Middleman
  • 1 Post By workindad
  • 1 Post By TDSC60

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-23-2012, 01:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
maincourse99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 452
Default Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

After emailing them, it took 6 hours for the response. Her text to me: "hard to read" and "surreal". She knows I'm serious, and my only response to her was, "I will let the lawyer know it's a go."

The court date is 10/31, and seeing the final agreement, while sobering, didn't knock me out emotionally as I thought it might. The 180 has been a life-saver for me. Detaching, no contact except for essential child and divorce issues, not responding to her occasional efforts at small talk via texts.

Her life has been spiraling, health problems, can't find a decent job, growing debt, her old car breaking down... I seem to be going in the other direction. I have my daughter most of the time, she doesn't want to be around the AP, I've been saving money and enjoying going out to coffee shops by myself and hanging out with my grown sons.

Life is simple. I'm not lonely (yet). The weight of dealing with 6 years of her cheating being gone is so freeing. I had no idea how that was affecting me, but now that it's gone, I finally have peace. Oh yes, cheating is definitely abuse.

Last edited by maincourse99; 10-23-2012 at 02:04 PM.
maincourse99 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-23-2012, 02:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
warlock07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 6,985
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

6 years of cheating? Did I miss that previously ? How many affairs did she have ?
warlock07 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-23-2012, 02:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
The Middleman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,554
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

I remember your post ... I'm happy for you. Her Karma is going to be a B1tch.
__________________
Knowing when to walk away, is wisdom. Being able to, is courage.

"If more people were judgmental, then maybe there would be less infidelity"
The Middleman is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-23-2012, 03:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
maincourse99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 452
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Yeah, once 6 years ago, the 1.5 years after that. I knew nothing back then. She was very sorry both times, our daughter was very young. I just sucked it up and carried on. Then I discover cheating from middle of last year, so I have no idea the true extent of it I'm sure.If only I knew then what I know now.....
maincourse99 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-23-2012, 03:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Thorburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,856
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Hoping the best for you.
__________________
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.
Thorburn is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-23-2012, 06:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,460
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Embrace the gift you will soon have. The opportunity to rebuild your life without a cheating spouse. Make the best of it. Happiness, post divorce, does exist.

All the best
WD
workindad is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-23-2012, 09:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 9
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Her Karma is going to be a B1tch
caseyjohnso is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-25-2012, 08:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
maincourse99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 452
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Thanks everyone for the encouragement
maincourse99 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-25-2012, 09:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 6,095
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Sorry to hear about your plight, MC! Man! That's 6 years worth of itch that she was trying to have feverishly scratched by someone outside of the marriage bed!

I'd say that she's truly beginning to reap the fruits of her labor!
__________________
"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
arbitrator is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-25-2012, 10:06 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
maincourse99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 452
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

Her Karma is going to be a B1tch


I am not rooting for her to be successful. Maybe if she suffered 1/2 as much as me I might be happy.
maincourse99 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-25-2012, 10:58 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SE USA
Posts: 1,626
Default Re: Sent the STBXW divorce paperwork/agreement

You can be happy just knowing that she is no longer part of your "happiness" equation.

The best revenge is complete indifference to the WS. Her success or problems are not yours and who cares anyway.
TDSC60 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
180, affair, cheating, divorce

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
wife won't give me her address for divorce paperwork JAYBLACK973 Going Through Divorce or Separation 7 10-13-2012 06:48 PM
divorce paperwork in the mail JAYBLACK973 Going Through Divorce or Separation 1 05-26-2012 12:09 AM
Guys I don't want to go get my divorce paperwork staircase Going Through Divorce or Separation 15 05-25-2011 07:00 AM
Paperwork Mandia99508 Going Through Divorce or Separation 6 08-24-2010 06:29 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:30 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.