Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:16 PM Thread Starter
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Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

I finally checked cell phone records after my wife of thirty years told me 2 weeks she wanted a divorce.....she had been showing all of the red flags for a year...tanning, wt. loos, guarding her cell phone, texting...
Found her new BF starting with a bang in records in June. Daily texts/calls starting at O700. 2-3 hours a day at the beach together while kids at school...
Best part is she was TEXTING the Dude while she was telling OUR children that she was leaving the marriage...
I confonted her with the name and she denied it...thenI pulled records and she said she didnt know why she was talking to him...just a friend at the beach...
This after she PASSED OUT in CHURCH Sunday when I went with the family...come to find out she had spent Sat pm with HIM whle I worked overnite.Guess she felt guilty, LOL
Guess what... she told me that I neeeded to leave our marital home. I told her no way, it was my house and I have done nothing wrong. No violence, threats, drinking, drugs..fights either.
I have put in a call to my attorney. How can she make me leave my home and Children when she has been unfaithful and wants to end the marriage??
Thanks. This hurts like hell. I am alternatively mad, sad then glad to kow that I am not cazy and my suspicions for the last 6 mos are true. The truth will set me free I guess...

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post #2 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Oh I forgot to mention I rode by his beachfront condo this am on the way to work at 0730....ANS SNAPPED A PHOTO OF HER CAR!!
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post #3 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:28 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

You need to get Divorce rolling. Do not tell her of any evidence you have. Family courts are biased against men so I wish you luck.
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post #4 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:32 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Don't go. Get a Voice Activated Recorder to record her statements and to verify if she starts giving false statements to the police about abuse or anger issues.

Don't let her goad you.

Unfortunately, and I say this to mentally prepare you, a judge may force you out (and he is the only one who should). It's not fair, but life sometimes isn't.

So lawyer up and get the proper motions set in place.

Set up a way into the house in case she changes the locks. Keep a PHOTOCOPY of the mortgage with your name on it with you so you can show police which might try to bar your way inside. Have your lawyer on speed dial in case she pulls shinnanigans.

Likewise the cops. If she tries to drag the OM into your house, you'll want to call the cops to remove him...and have a record made. (Having a recording of their mother and the OM trying to throw daddy out of the house is a DANDY Christmas present for the kids...just saying)

I personally would have removed the valve stems and flattened her tires. But a better question is: why didn't you take a picture of it and email it to yourself? That puts a time stamp on it. Or email your sibling.

Document her crappulance and reveal it to all her family.

Maybe you're a jerk, but she should have womaned up and divorced you, not cheated first.

Oh...reveal to HIS family too. AFTER you have evidence.

Some would say to put a VAR in her car. Just remember you can't unsee or unhear what might be recorded.
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post #5 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:40 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

She passed out in church? Talk about a real hypocrite. Maybe you should give her a framed copy of the nine commandments. (Because we know she doesn't give a sh!t about the one that talks about not committing adultery.)
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post #6 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:46 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Not sure how much more evidence you feel the need to gather or if it would be helpful during the D. My guess is that it will not help you during the D process, but I'm not a lawyer. Lawyer up as quickly as you can. Protect your bank assets and your exposure to debt that she may suddenly decide to splurge with credit cards in your name if she has access.

Take care of yourself and good luck. She may see the light when you actually file, be prepared. It does happen from what I've read. That was not the case for me personally, but your wife may respond differently.

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post #7 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 09:53 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Sell the house,Take all money out of the bank, burn her stuff, go to Thailand, and live on the beach!
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post #8 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:07 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Cancel joint ccs take half out of the bank joint acct. Do it asap dude! Don't leave the house.
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post #9 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:09 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Expose the h@re to family/friends
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post #10 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:11 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

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Originally Posted by Loveandpizza View Post
I don't care about how vulnerable hypocrites make themselves.

I never said that a lack of stated values immunizes someone

If someone wants to let everyone know they are a hypocrite good for them.

I don't hate.

I will end this here.
Actually a Mod probably will.

Anyway, dude, you need to be careful.
I mean, like, tight rope careful!!!

Cops don't listen to husbands. They listen to crying wives.
They don't kick wives out. They kick husbands out, or arrest them.

Now, I would suggest getting something to record conversations in the house, like a VAR, or something like that. That way you can have some evidence that way when cops show up and your wife is pumping out tears, you have some evidence to show only 10 minutes ago, she was the one yelling and throwing and fit, and you weren't the one shoving her up against the wall.

She has already shown her true colors. She wants you out.

You need to defend yourself today. And by that, I mean buy a VAR tomorrow, install it somewhere, and be non-confrontational.
Or your next post will be from jail.

And trust me, jail ain't fun. It ain't like the movies...and the movies don't make it look all that fun to begin with...

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post #11 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:13 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

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Cancel joint ccs take half out of the bank joint acct. Do it asap dude! Don't leave the house.
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Oh yea! and do that also!

And cancel credit cards.

Or you'll get a call from the bank in a few days, saying you got overdraft fees, all your accounts are maxed out, and your credit card companies will be chasing you down when your wife racks up a $10k spending spree charge.

Cancel all cards! NOW!!!
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post #12 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:21 PM
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Sorry it came to this, Flyfish. Time to expose her to all your family and her's. Does the OM have wife. Expose there too. Don't leave the house. Let the kids know the truth, not what she told them at that dinner.

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.

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post #13 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

I got my VAR....but I am in a sensitive line of work. I definitely cannot risk going to jail, as if anybody can....
Iam at work now overnite...I am an doctor in the hospital.
She's never worked. I gave her everything...she went on 2 cruises this year, told cold on me 6 weeks after we got back and hooked up with this dude. We have 5 kids...
I aint perfect but i am not a jerk. I suffer from nice guy syndrome I reckon.
What gets me is how they can DENY while you wave the evidence right in their face....the look in her eyes is like some alien I never met, not the woman I had known for 30 years.

One funny note...right after I first figured out who he was...I sent him a friend request on FB and watched her cellphone blowup...LMAO!!
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post #14 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:34 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

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Originally Posted by flyfishdoc View Post
I got my VAR....but I am in a sensitive line of work. I definitely cannot risk going to jail, as if anybody can....
Iam at work now overnite...I am an doctor in the hospital.
She's never worked. I gave her everything...she went on 2 cruises this year, told cold on me 6 weeks after we got back and hooked up with this dude. We have 5 kids...
I aint perfect but i am not a jerk. I suffer from nice guy syndrome I reckon.
What gets me is how they can DENY while you wave the evidence right in their face....the look in her eyes is like some alien I never met, not the woman I had known for 30 years.

One funny note...right after I first figured out who he was...I sent him a friend request on FB and watched her cellphone blowup...LMAO!!
Bed, made, lie. You need to show her tough love. I am a nice guy myself, I know it is hard to go against the programming. Of course the courts will hang you out to dry and she probably knows this.
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post #15 of 579 (permalink) Old 10-24-2012, 10:34 PM
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Re: Just confonted her-she wants ME to move out!

Lawyer up.

Dude, you are a doctor.

If I weighed 300 lbs. but I told you I ran 6 miles everyday to try and lose weight and only ate salads, would you believe me?
What's making you believe what your wife is telling you?

Lawyer up, and file.

Then, because you are a doctor, women will literally through themselves at you as they try to 'comfort' you through this tough time in your life.
And you can live the wonderful single life. Stay out late, work a lot and make a lot of money, drink whenever you want, wear your underwear all day, leave the toilet seat up, whatever you want!!!

You are entering a dark chapter of life.
Great news: the next one that follows is awesome.
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