For previous history see I Really Don't Think my Husband Gets It
The situation as is, is that I feel my husband has difficulty with respecting my boundaries. The most recent example was where he gave a female colleague a lift home then told me about it two days later - when one of my boundaries was I wouldn't be happy with him spending time alone with another woman - a result of his EA with a girl at work last year.
I am really unhappy about this and I have told him I want him to go to IC to figure this out.
He has made it clear he thinks IC is a ridiculous idea but has said he will go if it makes me happy.
That was last weekend. I have not brought it up, leaving it to him to sort out. So far he hasn't mentioned anything.
The difficulty? Around the time I found this out, he found out his grandad was really ill, who then sadly passed away. He was really close to his grandad growing up, who was a surrogate father figure as his dad wasn't around much. So needless to say, hubz has been upset and at moments a little teary-eyed.
Now, I feel stuck. I don't want to be a heartless wench who sits him down to recount the demise of our marriage whilst he's in mourning - the funeral isn't for another week. But obviously this is still an issue.
My question is, how do I handle this? My feelings say to wait until after the funeral to give him time to process things and implement IC.
The trouble is... I don't think he is GOING to implement IC. What I predict is that because I left it open with the ball in his court, he is going to say that because I haven't brought it up again, he thought I'd changed my mind. He's done this before with important things. Thing is, I don't want to nag him because, well, it's nagging isn't it? It's not like I haven't said it loud and clear. He knows exactly how I feel.
Or maybe I am going about this the wrong way round and I should have implemented consequences already. I don't know. I just don't want to be a heartless cow about it.
Advice?
The situation as is, is that I feel my husband has difficulty with respecting my boundaries. The most recent example was where he gave a female colleague a lift home then told me about it two days later - when one of my boundaries was I wouldn't be happy with him spending time alone with another woman - a result of his EA with a girl at work last year.
I am really unhappy about this and I have told him I want him to go to IC to figure this out.
He has made it clear he thinks IC is a ridiculous idea but has said he will go if it makes me happy.
That was last weekend. I have not brought it up, leaving it to him to sort out. So far he hasn't mentioned anything.
The difficulty? Around the time I found this out, he found out his grandad was really ill, who then sadly passed away. He was really close to his grandad growing up, who was a surrogate father figure as his dad wasn't around much. So needless to say, hubz has been upset and at moments a little teary-eyed.
Now, I feel stuck. I don't want to be a heartless wench who sits him down to recount the demise of our marriage whilst he's in mourning - the funeral isn't for another week. But obviously this is still an issue.
My question is, how do I handle this? My feelings say to wait until after the funeral to give him time to process things and implement IC.
The trouble is... I don't think he is GOING to implement IC. What I predict is that because I left it open with the ball in his court, he is going to say that because I haven't brought it up again, he thought I'd changed my mind. He's done this before with important things. Thing is, I don't want to nag him because, well, it's nagging isn't it? It's not like I haven't said it loud and clear. He knows exactly how I feel.
Or maybe I am going about this the wrong way round and I should have implemented consequences already. I don't know. I just don't want to be a heartless cow about it.
Advice?