06-09-2009, 12:42 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Temporary Resident of Earth Lord Only Knows Where Next
| | Re: Still hurts
Originally Posted by BETRAYED0208
I no longer discuss the issue with her be cause we argue and get no where. She said it was my fault for years of looking at other women on the street which did a lot of damage to her self esteem.
While you may have made mistakes in the marriage she needs to take responsibility for her failure. This is not your fault. She made a conscious decision to have sex with another man. She failed her wedding vows and traded her marital virtue for a few minutes of pleaser and self esteem building. How much more was her self esteem damaged by this predator that used her for his own needs and dropped her like a cigarette butt when he was done with her. You need to commit to the changes to make your marriage a better place but she need to accept the blame for the indiscretion. Until she does that she will never look to you for forgiveness and try to patch up the damage.
It sounds as if she could use some individual counseling as well.
Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.
"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp