I think my wife is cheating...
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-11-2012, 12:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I think my wife is cheating...

I will start this with a little background on my wife and I. We are married a bit over three years now and have been together for almost 7 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old son and a daughter due in March. I love my wife and son but unfortunately I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like to. I work a schedule in which I work during the day, at night, and overnight each week and then I try to pick up some overtime when I can. I guess it was about April of this year when I started to get suspicious. My wife used to call me when I was at work at night and talk about her day and ask about mine. Those calls stopped and turned into an occasional text message asking "how's ur day?". To get any info about what she had done was lime pillling teeth. So in April our son walks up to me with my sites phone and asks to play a game. When I opened the phone, there is no password needed, I saw it was already open to a text. The text was from a guy that my wife has known for nearly her whole adult life. It didn't bother me that she was texting him.as I thought they were friends. The message said "show me ur tits" and that was a bit concerning. More concerning however was my wires response of you will have to come over if u want to see them. She went on to say that not only could he see them if he came over bit he would get a "full body massage, wink wink". That was the end of that conversation and I didn't confront her about it. A few days later I decide to snoop in her phone when she was not around. I check text messages and the thread I just discussed was deleted but there was a new conversation between her and this other guy. It starts with her asking if he got the pic she went the other day. His response was just a smiley face. So I check the pictures on her phone and what do I find? A topless photo of her. Now mind you, I have made this request of my wife and been turned down and even called a pig for thinking about it. When we have sex, which is not often, she doesn't even allow mentoring take.her shirt off. But I digress. So now I am really starting to worry. I didn't know how to confront her about it so I just told her I was looking at pics and was curious why that one was there.. she told me she meant to send it to me one night when I was working but must have forgotten. I never brought up the text messages. So as time went by I kept snooping here and there and nothing much came off it. Except she invited him over anytime I worked at night. She has never mentioned any of these invites to me. So about a month ago I.am snooping and find a message from her to him saying how she.missed him last night and had even put her tongue ring in for him. Again I start to cringe thinking Bout this. Again I do nothing. Again this thread gets erased. Then a day or so later there is text messages about how she fan be mad if he has a gf since she is married. The final thing, so far, is she tells me this morning that his girlfried contacted her about the two of them. I don't know for sure but I think she was probing to see if I knew anything or had doubts. I don't know what to do though. I love my son and she is pregnant again. I am afraid that if I confront her I will be blamed and get no cconfession anyway. If I do get her to admit something I know I will never trust her again and our marriage will be done. I don't want to lose my son but at the same time I don't want him to lose his mother. I really don't know what to do. I no some will say what I have is plenty of proof of an affair and others will disagree. I don't have the time or funds to put in a camera or hire a PI. I also now can't get to her phone for more than a few moments, she brings it everywhere with her. Someone please help, I can't take the stress of not knowing but also am afraid to know the truth since I know if I am right my marriage is over.
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Old 11-11-2012, 12:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

It's more than a little concerning that the text said "Show me your tits".

Stop this nonsense now. She's at LEAST in an EA, if not physical already.
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Old 11-11-2012, 12:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

Use the edit function and insert whitespace and pagebreaks and Ill check back later to try and help you
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Old 11-11-2012, 12:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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The game is up and she is now going underground with her affairs. You need to go and get substantial proof via a PI, or get a inexpensive hidden camera for your house. Set it to turn on nights you think she may have him over. The small cameras can record 8 hours before the battery dies. You can pick them up online for under 100$ Then you have the proof you need to have full custody of the children. Otherwise you are just going to be left with a bag of clothes, child support payments, and weekend visits. I feel bad for you man but get the proof.
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Old 11-11-2012, 01:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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The game is up and she is now going underground with her affairs. You need to go and get substantial proof via a PI, or get a inexpensive hidden camera for your house. Set it to turn on nights you think she may have him over. The small cameras can record 8 hours before the battery dies. You can pick them up online for under 100$ Then you have the proof you need to have full custody of the children. Otherwise you are just going to be left with a bag of clothes, child support payments, and weekend visits. I feel bad for you man but get the proof.
I would also DNA the kids you wonder just how long this has been going on especially the new born.
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Old 11-11-2012, 01:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

You "think" your wife is cheating?

Good God, man. It's slapping you right in the face. There's a fox in your henhouse.

I'd make sure that little filly in her belly is yours also.
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Old 11-11-2012, 01:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

I don't think you need more proof. Only if you are in a fault state try to gather evidence.
Serve her divorce papers ( even if you don't want to divorce) . And start the 180 to detach.(Don't tell her anything until she has the papers in her hand)
And see how it plays out.
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Old 11-11-2012, 01:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

I'm so very sorry but she is cheating, physically, emotionally. In everyway.
Show me your tits and she is putting in her tonunge ring........


Confront, telling her your filing for divorce tomorrow morning, when she does admit
insist on no contact with other man(s)

Pull 180

And have new baby DNA done, sorry and WAKE UP
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Old 11-11-2012, 02:46 PM   #9 (permalink)
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The game is up and she is now going underground with her affairs. You need to go and get substantial proof via a PI, or get a inexpensive hidden camera for your house. Set it to turn on nights you think she may have him over. The small cameras can record 8 hours before the battery dies. You can pick them up online for under 100$ Then you have the proof you need to have full custody of the children. Otherwise you are just going to be left with a bag of clothes, child support payments, and weekend visits. I feel bad for you man but get the proof.
I know I don't want to be a weekend only dad. Funny thing too is she tells me today the guys girlfriend thinks something is going on between them. She then tells me when he comes over that he only arTs for about an hour and usuallyeaves as soon as my son goes to bed so she can relax. Funny thing is the other day she rexted him and told him to come by around 830 when my son goes to bed around 8 every night. The lies are killing me!
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Old 11-11-2012, 02:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I know I don't want to be a weekend only dad. Funny thing too is she tells me today the guys girlfriend thinks something is going on between them. She then tells me when he comes over that he only arTs for about an hour and usuallyeaves as soon as my son goes to bed so she can relax. Funny thing is the other day she rexted him and told him to come by around 830 when my son goes to bed around 8 every night. The lies are killing me!
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Look pardner, he's depositing his seed into your pregnant wife, (his child) and you are worried about being a weekend dad???

FFS man, pull yer britches up and and get to packing her things.
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I know I don't want to be a weekend only dad. Funny thing too is she tells me today the guys girlfriend thinks something is going on between them. She then tells me when he comes over that he only arTs for about an hour and usuallyeaves as soon as my son goes to bed so she can relax. Funny thing is the other day she rexted him and told him to come by around 830 when my son goes to bed around 8 every night. The lies are killing me!
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you will get 50/50 custody more than likely.
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

Just go see an attorney monday and know your options don't tell her. Separate finances open an acct. in your name only. Set vars in the house and in her car. Good luck
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:07 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

Tell her you and everyone else knows whats going on. Tell her to move her **** out of your bedroom. Call his girlfriend and tell her what you know, she will tell you much more.

DO NOT LET THESE TWO WALK ALL OVER YOU
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: I think my wife is cheating...

Go see an attorney and try to get 50/50 custody, get STD tests and Lear the baby didn't catch anything. Insist on paternity testing. Get yourself into counseling.
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:12 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Go see an attorney and try to get 50/50 custody, get STD tests and Lear the baby didn't catch anything. Insist on paternity testing. Get yourself into counseling.
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expose to friends and family especially his gf do it tonight!
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