Do you think my wife cheated?
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-19-2012, 05:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Do you think my wife cheated?

There's something which has been haunting me for the last few years.

One night during intimacy, I noticed a foul odour from my wife's vagina. This went on for a few months despite her best attempts to clean it thoroughly.

During a subsequent visit to a gynae, the doctor noticed this and said she had an infection after which he prescribed some medication and means of treatment (which worked).

During this visit, he said he wanted to speak to me alone and asked, "Do you have another woman? Have you been seeing prostitutes?", to which of course I said no. I definitely did not have an affair or pay any prostitutes for sex. The doctor was implying that she may have had an STD.

Having found the doctor's suspicion's quite amusing given my lack of infidelity, I actually told my wife after what the doctor had asked me. So I said, if it's not me, is it you, then? To which she said, no.

We both then wondered if the infection could have been caused by a number of miscarriages, maybe due to tissue matter from the miscarriage? I don't know. Is that possible?
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Depends on what the infection was.
Have her give you full access to her medical records and find out if it was an STD.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Surely he would have prescribed some drugs for you?

Don't you have to notify someone if you have had an STD?

Or is that only with life threatening STD's
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

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Surely he would have prescribed some drugs for you?

Don't you have to notify someone if you have had an STD?

Or is that only with life threatening STD's
A doctor will never tell a spouse about an STD unless the other spouse gives him permission. Some states require STDs like HIV be reported to the Public Health officials, which will then sometimes notify the patient's sex partners. But a doctor doesn't have the right to pull the spouse aside and give them a heads up.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Could be nothing or could be something. Maybe you should start some mild snooping, if for nothing else but to put your mind at ease. If your wife told the Doctor she had another man, the Doctor is under obligation not to tell you so it's going to be all up to you to give your mind peace.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Can you recall what the medication was? Find out exactly what the infection was. It should be on the records.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

I must admit I would be suspicious. With the Doc asking you about other women etc.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tamii View Post
There's something which has been haunting me for the last few years.

One night during intimacy, I noticed a foul odour from my wife's vagina. This went on for a few months despite her best attempts to clean it thoroughly.

During a subsequent visit to a gynae, the doctor noticed this and said she had an infection after which he prescribed some medication and means of treatment (which worked).

During this visit, he said he wanted to speak to me alone and asked, "Do you have another woman? Have you been seeing prostitutes?", to which of course I said no. I definitely did not have an affair or pay any prostitutes for sex. The doctor was implying that she may have had an STD.

Having found the doctor's suspicion's quite amusing given my lack of infidelity, I actually told my wife after what the doctor had asked me. So I said, if it's not me, is it you, then? To which she said, no.

We both then wondered if the infection could have been caused by a number of miscarriages, maybe due to tissue matter from the miscarriage? I don't know. Is that possible?
I think the doctor told you in the only way he felt he legally could. She needs to show you what she was treated for. You should also be tested.

This said your other threads sound like you are looking for an excuse to divorce her.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I think the doctor told you in the only way he felt he legally could. She needs to show you what she was treated for. You should also be tested.
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Old 11-20-2012, 04:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

I personally don't think any doctor can legally take you aside and ask you that?

So I think maybe, he asked your wife if she'd had any unprotected sex over X amount of years and she's said 'no'......so he comes to you discreetly and asks you the same question.

It kind of points to one of you has been unfaithful and given her an STD.....so if you know it wasn't you, then it must have been your wife.

Even after miscarriages etc.. where, true she might have been left with an infection, it would never be treated in the same way as an STD.......and the doctor wouldn't be asking you if you'd visited a prostitute if the infection was even possibly a result of a miscarriage.

You need to sit her down and ask her directly....and/or request a polygraph!
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Dude you don't get STDS from a miscarriage!
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tamii View Post
There's something which has been haunting me for the last few years.

One night during intimacy, I noticed a foul odour from my wife's vagina. This went on for a few months despite her best attempts to clean it thoroughly.

During a subsequent visit to a gynae, the doctor noticed this and said she had an infection after which he prescribed some medication and means of treatment (which worked).

During this visit, he said he wanted to speak to me alone and asked, "Do you have another woman? Have you been seeing prostitutes?", to which of course I said no. I definitely did not have an affair or pay any prostitutes for sex. The doctor was implying that she may have had an STD.

Having found the doctor's suspicion's quite amusing given my lack of infidelity, I actually told my wife after what the doctor had asked me. So I said, if it's not me, is it you, then? To which she said, no.

We both then wondered if the infection could have been caused by a number of miscarriages, maybe due to tissue matter from the miscarriage? I don't know. Is that possible?
If the doctor asked you this, he would have had to have the same conversation with your wife. Did she tell you that the doctor talked to her about you sleeping around, or did she tell you that he asked her about her sleeping around? If not, that is a huge red flag.

Entropy may be right about the doctor trying to let you know in the only way he could.

As far as possible causes, your wife would be able to share her own medical records with you if she so chose. Then you could find out what exactly the infection was and what the possible causes could be.

I also find it a red flag that your wife is not more interested in what could have caused her condition, just happy to take the meds and have it clear up. I would think that she would want to know how to prevent it from happening in the future. Unless she already knows how it happened, and you don't.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

I do. As you say, you have kept your vows, hence, it was her.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:12 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

Yes!!
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:53 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do you think my wife cheated?

The Doctor had every right to "investigate" the cause and source of the infection. So questioning the spouse was within the law.

The Doctor was telling you in a round about way that your wife has an STD. He was suggesting that if you have been faithful, you probably should get checked and treated also.

The Doctor knows the difference between a bacterial infection, a yeast infection, and a STD infection.

Your wife cheated. You should be tested.
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