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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Looking for opinions.

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-19-2012, 08:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Looking for opinions.

I am new to this page, I stated that yesterday when I posted my long stories about all the years of infidelity I have put up with. I am wondering at what point is enough, enough? It seems simple, we are free to leave, but why is it so hard? I don't believe that I am in love anymore. It's possible I find it hard for me to leave because I dont currently have a job. I don't have any children. Sometimes I think of all the things that have to be done, moving furniture, selling a home, splitting things down the middle, telling everyone, and it seems overwhelming. It seems that just thinking of starting from scratch also reminds me of how much time Ive put into this, but there is nothing here. Nothing more than a man who continues to go on drink binges and then go to strip clubs, blow all our money and then call prostitutes, which he always says he never slept with, In all the stories, he always changes his mind at the point, but at the same time gives me the excuse that he doesn't remember anything. I know, its a convenient lie. But at what point do you say to yourself, that's it, Goodbye? Of course there are some not so bad moments but I cant live like this forever, Im only 27.
And yes, We've been to marital and individual counseling for the last 19 months. This month, I said that's enough, she has never told him he's a sex addict or an alcoholic, Ive yet to get any answers, and Im done wasting time. He is never going to 'remember'.

Last edited by ItsGonnabeAlright; 11-19-2012 at 08:46 PM. Reason: more information.
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Old 11-20-2012, 05:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Looking for opinions.

Sorry that you face infidelity.

You have said "thats it". And thats it.
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Old 11-20-2012, 06:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Leave him;;;let him go to hell;;;;;


All the things you listed above (starting from scratch) should be done with a new energy in anticipation of a new healthy and happy life;;;;
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Old 11-20-2012, 06:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Looking for opinions.

Be glad you never had children with him. This is painful but you will be so much stronger by moving on. This man is endangering your health with his habits.
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Old 11-20-2012, 07:24 AM   #5 (permalink)
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At a point, the thoughts will get easier. Every journey is just a series of steps put together. Voewing the big picture is overwhelming. One step at a time.
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Looking for opinions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGonnabeAlright View Post
I am new to this page, I stated that yesterday when I posted my long stories about all the years of infidelity I have put up with. I am wondering at what point is enough, enough? It seems simple, we are free to leave, but why is it so hard? I don't believe that I am in love anymore. It's possible I find it hard for me to leave because I dont currently have a job.

I can relate to this. I find it very difficult to leave due to being laid off earlier this year. I will not be comfortable until am not relying on unemployment which does not pay very much in my state. This trapped feeling can definitely add more stress to how you feel.

I don't have any children. It seems that just thinking of starting from scratch also reminds me of how much time Ive put into this, but there is nothing here. Of course there are some not so bad moments but I cant live like this forever, Im only 27.
I understand the time you've put into your relationship. I helped my H raise his two beautiful daughters. I will always be grateful that I got to be a part of their lives. Looking back, it's ironic to see how much more I did for them than he did. He's not a bad father, just one that only wanted to do things when it was convenient for him.

As you said, you are only 27. Start taking the time to REALLY focus on you. Make yourself stronger, healthier, happier. I'm sorry that you are here, but listen to the advise given. As a fairly new poster, I've found much comfort from what people offer. Good luck.
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGonnabeAlright View Post
I am new to this page, I stated that yesterday when I posted my long stories about all the years of infidelity I have put up with. I am wondering at what point is enough, enough? It seems simple, we are free to leave, but why is it so hard?
Cheating damages the hurt spouse's self esteem. Also, if you don't have a job, leaving can be a frightening prospect.
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