Ok so I've posted a couple of times here about my marriage. My husband of 6 years gave me the ILYBNILWY speech on sept. 26 of this year. I was shocked, begged for a chance and for him to really try. He said he liked flirting with other women and didn't find me attractive but not sure if he wanted a divorce. He said he would try. A couple of weeks later I started getting a gut feeling there was someone else. He of course denied it. I guilted him into admitting he talked to a 26 year old female co worker but it was innocent. I didn't believe him but had no proof so I told him he needed to choose between talking with her and being with me. He chose being with me. Fast forward to a week ago. I found the secret cell phone. Many texts about how hot he thought she was and just give him time and he will divorce me etc. when confronted he was very remorseful said he didn't love her, he just wanted to screw her. Long story short he says he feels like he owes it to the kids and me to give us a real try. The catch is she still works with him. He ended things with her and management knows about it and told them both that if it continued she would be fired on the spot. From reading the texts I got the impression that he was more into it than her, that she more or less just liked the attention and control she had. My question is has anyone heard of people involved in something like this continuing to work together platonically? He says he can handle it.
Good question. Sorry I wasn't more articulate in my earlier post. In the context of your situation I consider your stbx a serial cheater not because of multiple partners, but because of multiple cheating events with discovery happening between events.
What this indicates is your husbands willingness to not only crush your soul with your discovery of the initial affair, but he was also willing to continue to destroy you by continuing his affair. By his refusal to immediately cease and desist in the affair indicates the remorselessness of a serial cheater.
A cheating spouse who witnesses the exquisite agony in the soul of their betrayed spouse and continues the cheating behavior is someone who is sealing their fate in losing the ability (and desire) to repent of such behavior. They also lose their ability to truly love you.
This is exactly the type of person you never want to allow in your life again. From what I have been able to observe this is a sentence they impose upon themselves for the remainder of their lives.
You said in the past 2 years he couldn't commit to your marriage. I'm assuming that means he cheated some more. Cheating more than once is a serial cheater.
He is only wanting to make it work cuz you are dating another man.
He is all words. I see no actions or behaviors that indicate any sort of remorse or willingness to do what it takes to recover from multiple cheating incidents.
If you R with this man you are setting yourself up for failure.
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