Accusations of cheating - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-29-2012, 04:51 AM Thread Starter
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Accusations of cheating

I would really appreciate some help. This question is regarding my parents, not myself. My parents have been married for almost 27 years and they have been happy for the most part. My father is 51 and my mother is 50. Recently, my parents have really started to argue almost constantly.

Last night my father returned from a business meeting around 7:00 pm and my mother started yelling at him at the top of her lungs asking him where he was and who he was with. Apparently she has his email address and was looking through his emails and found one from a female customer that asked him where the meeting was going to be today. My mother knew that he had a meeting to go to with multiple customers and that is why she started snooping. She started calling him a cheating pig and she truly believes that every woman in the workplace is a ****.

They have these types of fights regularly (at least once per week). This time my mother went too far. She called the wife of the man that he was going to a meeting with and asked her if she knew who her husband and my father was with (the woman that emailed my dad). The husband of the lady that she called is my dad's biggest customer and after his wife called him he became infuriated. (Apparently she found his business card and his wife manages his office). At this point my dad might lose his job and he plans of divorcing my mom. (He told me after I was awoken to them fighting at 3:00 am. We took a drive and he basically broke down to me insisting that he didn't cheat and he didn't know why my mom was doing this).

I should also note that I have two younger sisters (12 and 15) living in the house with us and it's not right that they have to hear this. Also, my mother is extremely overprotective of all of us. When I was in high school she would follow us (me and my friend that picked me up) on our way to school everyday. She would also follow me to the park and yell out the window when I met with my friends telling us that we better not be using drugs or she would call the police (none of us even used drugs).

Lastly, my father has been hospitalized before because her accusations and arguing almost gave him a stroke. She is constantly going through his phone and emails (even though she has never found proof of him cheating), she will go through all of our bedrooms and look for imaginary drugs and alcohol that she thinks were hiding, and she has cancelled everyone's cell phone (besides mine, I have my own plan that I pay for). This has really gotten insane and is starting to effect me psychologically.

Is there anything that I can do to stop this? I'm moving out in a month and the only reason I have stayed at home until 21 is because I was worried that she might hurt my father or my little sisters. My dad plans on divorcing her, and I would like to know how I can have the girls taken from her. She is unemployed and has no skills, she could not provide for my sisters if her life depended on it. She has no one to turn to because her insanity drove all her friends away and her own family wants nothing to do with her.

What can I do? Any help? I really would be hurt if something happened to any of my family members because of her insanity.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-29-2012, 06:49 AM
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Re: Accusations of cheating

I don't know what to say really other than it sounds like you and your family have had enough. That particularly your father has had enough. He sounds like an absolute saint to have put up with what he has over the years. And what an awful teenage years to have your mother stalk you in such a way.

I wish you and your father well, and hope your brother and sister can have a more stable late childhood than you had.

Originally posted by TRy: Question: How does a cheater say screw you? Answer: They say "trust me".
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When the story does not make sense, that is because it is not true. When you get the truth, it all will make sense.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-29-2012, 06:52 AM
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Had your mom ever been diagnosed? Sounds like she has some issues she needs to deal with.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-29-2012, 06:56 AM
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Re: Accusations of cheating

Sounds like she has an undiagnosed condition, that festered and grew due to the people around her not intervening.

Nothing much to do now really.
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