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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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  • 1 Post By lionsguy22

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Old 12-02-2012, 09:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Crazy

PROVEN SPOUSE OF 25+YRS CHEATED WITH LOCAL FRIEND. SO WE HAD CONFRONTATION THAT LEAD TO AGREEMENT TO GET SOME COUNCLING. HE CHOSE WHO WENT THAT DAY.HE AGREED NO FURTHER CONTACT. NEXT AM HAD SEX WENT TO WORK AFTER I LEFT HE WENT TO HER HOUSE. SO THE FOLLOWING DAY SAID HE WAS NOT WITH HER DROVE TO WHERE THEY WERE AN NEEDLESS TO SAY HE WAS MOVED OUT THAT DAY. AFTER A LONG EMOTIONAL WEEKEND. HE CAME TO SPEAK TO ME AN AGREED NEED ALOT OF WORK BUT WOULD TRY. HE WAS TO HAVE NO CONTACT WITH HER. NOW HE WAS ABSENT FOR HOLIDAY SAID EMBARASSED TO BE ROUND FAMILY DAY OFF REMOVED BATTERY FROM PHONE THINK BEING TRACKED. IF YOUR DOING NOTHING WRONG WHY WORRY? YOU CHEATED YOU SHOULD EXPECT DISTRUST. EACH TIME SUSPECT THEY ARE TOGETHER ODD THINGS HAPPEN LIKE LOCK MISSING ON CAR DOOR FLAT TIRES. HIS ANSWER COINCIDENCE OR A LIE. I TRULY HAVE BEEN TYING TO WORK ON THINGS HE ADDRESSED AS MY ISSUES. HE SEEMS VERY UNHAPPY TO BE HERE THOUGH HE WANTED TO COME BACK. NEED TO KNOW HE REALLY HAS STOPPED CONTACT TO TRY TO MOVE FORWARD. TRUST VERY MUCH ISSUE. HURT COULD BE BLINDING. I WANT TO GIVE HONEST EFFORT. BUT ? IS HOW CAN I CONFIRM HIS COMMITMENT.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Crazy

He's shown you his commitment... to boink other women.

Sorry
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Crazy

He seems to be committed to banging other women whenever he can.

None to you whoever.

File divorce.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
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He will continue to have his cake and pay lip service. Then he might actually feel guilty once he knows your filing for a divorce,
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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in 25yrs never known him to show or feel guily or remorse.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:30 AM   #6 (permalink)
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in 25yrs never known him to show or feel guily or remorse.
Divorce him momma.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Its very difficult. I want soo badly to believe. In my heart and gut i know hes being decietful. An possibly i want to believe for same reason. Hes familiar. Been long time. Iam no spring chicken. Dont even know how to move on.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:46 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you all though not the easiest things to hear sometimes seeing through outside eyes helps.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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in 25yrs never known him to show or feel guily or remorse.
Sounds like he is a narcissist.
No guilt, no remorse.
Everything has to be about him and what he wants.
Always blaming others for his bad choices.
Can not admit to himself or anyone else that he is wrong, that he is the one who mad the bad choice, the devil made him do it.
Lies about everything that might make him look like the bad guy in the eyes of others.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, he will not change on his own.
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Old 12-02-2012, 11:07 AM   #10 (permalink)
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You need to expose to friend and family, but most importantly you need to expose to HER friends and family.

make the affair humliating for both of them, take the fun out of it.

Also go after every dime you can lay your hands on right now - take the money out of his pocket that he uses to romance her.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:50 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Really love this guy carried his last name longer than my own. He loved me once. Hopefully will love me again. But not sure how long is long enough to wait to see effort or results. I think he should make some type of attempt to show he meant what he said and wants this to work as well. I feel we need to spend time together as we have obviously moved in different directions. But every min hes not with me iam convinced hes with her. Not sure how to overcome that feeling but its definately not helping situation. All that seems to be happening is hes hanging out at the house angry hes there. Sure he feels like prisoner,and that will deter him from any chance we have to survive. He does re-enforce by calling from home phone when he works but is unreachable most times hes off.
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