1. confront her in 94 She fesses up to a "one-time" mistake. Also tells me that 16 years earlier while engaged she did a similar thing.
I go into a year's long nightmare of depression and we went to MC.
2. Life intrudes, son's health goes seriously bad.
a decade goes by filled with angry fights but what I at least thought was her not cheating.
3. Fights continue, i want his name. Hit 2005. Way too long. She gives me a name and says it happened twice.
Name is fake and I realize finally how entrenched deception is.
EDITED TO ADD:
3a. I get his real name and over the course of the Summer of 2008 she dribbles the number of years to 8 years and thousands of times with him. Nothing like a huge betrayal that keeps on giving.
4. Consult two lawyers in 2009, start planning exit. Lose job in 2010. No job for 18 months. stop intimacy in 2010.
5. Try to reconcile and find out her deceptive ways continue in 2012. this time about cult involvement. She on sly charges $8k trip to Hawaii right during our home sale escrow to chant during Transit of Venus and swim with dolphins with cult group. a group she promised to not contact if to stay with me.
I file for divorce in September, take my half of home sale, buy car, get my own house. she moves off to Santa Fe to be "energy healer."
Divorce will be final in a month and i have to pay support for 8 years to my wh0ring soon to be ex-wife.
Postscript: I should have divorced her 18 years ago but though I was protecting my children. Posted via Mobile Device
Thanks everyone. I just figured it was informative for others who think waiting for an inadequate spouse to turn a new leaf is worth it. It definitely is a mistake to think you can change such a person.
BTW, It was no accident that I discovered the jerk had died several months before she told me his real name. I found this out when I was checking up on the name. Ice queen wife didn't even react when I showed the death notice to her. She already knew he was dead. Swears she didnt know. But hey, wouldn't you react if the person you were screwing for 8 years died?
I sure would have.
My wife only revealed his name when it was no longer possible to talk to him, check out her story, or confront him.
I have followed your post for many years now. It really makes you wonder how you can be married for so many years and really not know the person you trust more than life itself. Damn!
At 30 years married... I finally find out. My wife has been serially cheating for years with 3 admitted OM. More? Unless someone comes forward I will never know. We have R for that past 3+ years. Is it over? Do you really know who someone really is deep inside?
Good luck in your future, you tried, you showed mercy, keep your bow pointed into the wind, press on.