Hummingburd

I can't stand it!! My H has told me minimal details about the B because I asked him to see what my competition was! I just feel like not knowing what she looks like is both a curse and a blessing not sure which one yet! I think about going to the work place and seeing for myself since she doesn't know what I look like either but sounds like torture either way, especially with how I might react emotionally. I can't go anywhere or see any W that looks like he described vaguely and not imagine that it might be her and I could be standing right next to the B. It kills me! Does anyone have any advice on how to get around this constant obstacle??

fairydust

I wish I didn't know the OW. I think it would have been easier not knowing her.

The OW was no competition as far as I'm concerned. As my H says she was cute but I'm pretty.

Hummingburd

I guess it could be worse especially when u knew the W! It is just beyond me how people can do this stuff. And these other women u would think they would care enough not to want to damage someone elses family like this but the fact is people just dont care anymore!! So are you near forgiveness?

Hummingburd

Boy what a nice comment about u are pretty! As a wife we want to be beautiful and at least feel like no one can compare. Forget us feeling that from them, we have to know it ourselves and if they don't see it some lucky man will!!

swedish

I wanted to know what she looked like too...not sure why though...funny thing is, I was a little shocked...she ended up being pretty plain and a little chunky...sort of made me feel like wtf?! but if she was stunning I might have felt insecure...so I guess either way, it didn't really help to see her....but gotta go to those office Christmas parties once a year

fairydust

Unfortunately for me Hummingburd I'm no where near forgiveness at 2 years out. OW lives across the street so the daily reminders are hell and H has not been good with helping me through this.

He was in the beginning but not so much in the last year. I've seem to lost the emotional connection and I just don't think it will ever come back. For us, I think still living here was a terrible thing to do. I had wanted to move but financial I knew it wouldn't happen. My H was always like, it's over just move on from it. As I found out I can't when the reminder is right in my face everyday.

Hummingburd

I understand FairyDust completely as that skank still works with him, even though I don't see her I imagine and make up so many scenarios in which he encounters her there!! Thank god he works in a big casino but for goodness sake like you!, how much of it being in your face can u take! I don't know if forgiveness will ever come but I know that when it does I think that we will be free again. How to get there is the challenge and you need to ge the hell out of that neighborhood! I think that I would have hurt someone by now! He should want out of there more I would imagine. I cannot imagine how hard that is for you and you are a stronger person than I am cause being that close for that long, I would have gone over and rang the b****es neck! I wish u luck on this journey and am glad that we have this site an others to provide support that we can't seem to get from or spouses. Sad isn't it perfect strangers reaching out to each other and yet the ones that are closest to us provide very little support

Hummingburd

In reply to Swedish I found out little details from my m-inlaw as she works there too thank god for her!! That this gal is short, sort of smaller but has a gut!! That made my day sort of but it just makes you feel like crap about yourself that they went for a piece of crap like that and how freaking ridiculous!!! Im not sure if I will ever find out what she looks like but I would love to see the day that the B**** gets fired!! That would relieve my mind some at least so I don't panic every time he goes to work. Stay strong for yourself cause most times me and my mind are my worst enemy!

Kollette

I was wanting to ask a guy cheating on his wife a question and thought this forum would work. Maybe some of ya'll have encountered this problem before. My husband met me at vet on short notice today and had marks on his face like he had been wearing goggles but it was only below the cheek area to the nose. He holds his head down trying to hold a smile back and saywhy would I be wearing goggles? Always asking me the questions then even said I had a mark on my face! I said is there a matching one on the other side? He said no. I have gut feeling for so many years he is cheating and they are stronger at this time. He works in an office, what else could it be sexually for marks like that? I thought of 1 hr. of costumes then sex?? Not very creative but the laugh he was trying to hide is what got to me to make me think something happened. Deny, deny and deny all he does all the time. Any suggestions or just talk to me!

Hummingburd

It is hard to tel what hose marks could actually be but him acting like he is guilty with the laughing doesn't help at all. My insecurity and my gut told me forever that my husband was cheating but he swears that this is the one and only time that he has ever talked to anyone outside our marriage which just happened to lead to him wanting a divorce. There is no definite answer but in the end the deviant act will reveal itself. Be strong and if you see or find anything suspicious call him. I wish u luck. I am still recouperating and I think after all of this and even though it is good that we are trying to work things ou tfor our family I will never be the same inside again!

beachlover

I found out a couple of months ago my husband had a one night fling with a business associate 25 years ago at an out of town conference!! I have googled her name a thousand times trying to find a picture somewhere, just hoping she hasn't aged well So far, no luck. My husband has been somewhat open with me, describing her as tall and thin...great!!! I think it is only human nature to want to know details and especially what the OW looked like.