I'm really beginning to wonder if its possible to have as strong or even a stronger relationship after one spouse cheats on the other. So many things I didn't notice about him before or I thought were endearing, I now find annoying. I'm irritable and I'm trying not to be. Sometimes he wants to spend time with me and in my head I'm thinking just go away..
I thought we had one of the best marriages. I was so shocked when he told me it wasn't and MAY want out about a year ago. Turns out he was cheating and when I caught him (not literally but enough evidence) and threw him out the tables turned. He wanted to fix it. I did....I do too but what is happening?
I do love him, but its not like before. I feel really lost...I guess is the best word. Its been nearly a year and right now I feel almost as lost as when it was all happening. We had moved forward so much and nothing happened to make me feel this way. Its making me feel very depressed.
I know there are outside factors here. My mother is ill and dealing with a very stressful situation our wonderful government is oh so kind when you have a grandmother who has dementia. Work is stressful. Also its been not a good month. For awhile I think I felt support from my friends (they don't know about this but their friendship was support enough)...and then something happened not a major deal, but I feel betrayed. Some of them all are going on a trip together and they kept the group really small. I was asked to feed the animals not invited on the trip... I agreed (cause this is sooo me!) and I also felt hurt. My husband doesn't think it crossed any of their mind I might be hurt to not be invited and it was unitentional. I am overreacting but I feel like no one is loyal anymore and I can't trust anyone...
So after all the rambling...I have some questions:
1.)Those of you recovering from an affair, physical or emotional did you no longer love your spouse as much after they betrayed you and did you ever get that back?
2.) Do you ever fully trust them again?
3.) After a year when things are going as well, even better than expected did you suddenly feel lost, maybe even depressed... is this normal?????
Its easier to deal with emotions if you know its part of a cycle in the healing but I'm thrown by this cause I was feeling so much more positive and nothing happened yet I really want to isolate myself..