Re: Does this explain the "Fog"?
yeah, the false R is a good point. I'm sure my STBXW is using the continued pain, continued guilt, and the continued resentment towards me for not coming back to the table and for coninuing her affair. The fog just rolled in thicker! Now, not only where her needs being unmet by me, but her own need for self validation was getting that much worse! She probably really DID need someone to tell her she was still "great" as she was so afraid to face the pain in my face and looking in the mirror was probably just as bad.
So at that point, is it still my responsibility to shoulder aside my pain, because she is really needing that support? Isn't that where trying to "nice" the person out of the affair is met with disaster?
In her case, I don't know if it is a "fog" or not. I think she is so used to compartmentalizing, that she cannot let anything out of that box. She is the 5 year old girl putting her fingers in her ears yelling "I can't hear you! La la la la la!"