Husband cheated with married coworker and he blames me.
Hello all, I am new and need some help from people who can relate with my situation. I discovered my husband affair, when he pocket dialed my work # and left a 3 min message of him talking to this woman. At first it sounded innocent, then he said "I called you from the office phone and your husband answered so I hung up and texted you" well to make a long story short, he swore up and down they were "just friends" and the funny thing is they work with her husband too. Well he "gaslighted" me, made me feel horrible for even thinking he would cheat on me, "I am the liar because of my problem with painkillers" even though he is an alcoholic..."he doesn't trust me, I have male friends" "I am looney tunes, he swore on his child's life he had nothing more than a friendship going on". So I played the role of the "dumb spouse" and hacked his email and he had one email he sent to his trash, to that girl saying "I miss you" "wanna f&$/", etc and then was sending me texts telling me "I love you thanks for lunch"...real heart breaking stuff. I confronted him and he admitted to it finally, but all the sudden it is my fault he cheated. He cheated to get caught to get out of his marriage. Even though he did everything to cover his tracks. It has been a month since I confronted him and I just barely will talk to him over text. And it has to do with finances or getting misc crap he left at my home. I have not seen him in over 2 weeks and we were together 5 years. I want a divorce, this will be his 3rd failed marriage and my 1st. I am growing stronger, but I don't get how I was the one to shoulder the whole blame for our problems. He was emotionally and mentally abusive, destructive to my home broke many of my things. I feel very broken and really need some help understanding. I know I have caused problems with our marriage lying about pills, just to find out he was hiding bottles of alcohol in our garage and drinking himself stupid while I was at work. He was/is very good at manipulated me into thinking I am the cause of all our problems. I am getting help for my addiction, but I will tell you this has been very challenging during this time. Sorry this so long. Can anyone relate? I shamefully went and got an STD test Wed. This has just been A nightmare.
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