A positive thought for you
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » A positive thought for you

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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  • 6 Post By NotDoneYet
  • 1 Post By MovingAhead
  • 1 Post By Bee2012

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Old 01-09-2013, 08:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default A positive thought for you

A thought that's kept me afloat through her affair, maybe it will help you too:

If this is the worst experience of my life (it is), if I will never face any challenge tougher than this (I won't), then from here life only gets better.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

Thanks for sharing! I hate hearing "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger", but I like the way your quote sounds!
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

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Thanks for sharing! I hate hearing "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger", but I like the way your quote sounds!
Yeah I know what you mean hating that phrase. I sure don't feel like I'll get any stronger from this right now because I barely have any willpower to do anything. But if I think of it more like here I am at the worst point feeling like a lifeless blob, but time is moving forward and the world's still spinning, there's a sense that progress will inevitably happen and I'll naturally find a better place.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:58 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

When I found my wife was having an affair and I was losing 50% of my kids, it was really really hard to deal with.

Focus on you. Make yourself a better person. Hit the gym. Take up a hobby. Get closer with people who you should be closer with, for me my kids... I took the opportunity to make myself a better man. I go to the gym as part of my daily routine. I have a much better relationship with my kids and I am better off without my EX. I did try my best to reconcile, but she wanted out...

There was a time when I was driving to work and thinking about the D, and I just thought. If I were married what would be different? Just one thing... Some of us may get their spouses back and things can be better. For me that wasn't happening, but this is a trying time in your life so rise to the occasion, see it as a challenge, don't wallow in self pity and make yourself better. Happiness will come again. Don't chase happiness, it will come to you. Make yourself a better person and you will attract better things in life.
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

When I found my wife was having an affair and I was losing 50% of my kids, it was really really hard to deal with.

Focus on you. Make yourself a better person. Hit the gym. Take up a hobby. Get closer with people who you should be closer with, for me my kids... I took the opportunity to make myself a better man. I go to the gym as part of my daily routine. I have a much better relationship with my kids and I am better off without my EX. I did try my best to reconcile, but she wanted out...

There was a time when I was driving to work and thinking about the D, and I just thought. If I were married what would be different? Just one thing... Some of us may get their spouses back and things can be better. For me that wasn't happening, but this is a trying time in your life so rise to the occasion, see it as a challenge, don't wallow in self pity and make yourself better. Happiness will come again. Don't chase happiness, it will come to you. Make yourself a better person and you will attract better things in life.
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

Thanks for sharing that Not Done Yet. . Gotta stay positive.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:27 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

Twofaces,

I'm right there in the despair, sorrow, and loneliness right now. I still feel like a loser, worthless, all that. I've been in bed for two days straight, only getting up to eat and use the bathroom. When I say I'm alone, I mean alone - my wife was the only person I knew in this city (we moved across the country recently). I can't imagine it getting any worse.

I also can't imagine it staying this way forever. Most of us on TAM have a few decades left to live, and really what are the odds things will stay this ****ty? This is the bottom of the barrel here. The other day I had my first genuine laugh in four months - just that one moment made that day better than the last. I look at how I was in the first few days after D-Day, and I'm not kidding, staying in bed these last two days is an improvement. I didn't eat for a week, and I slept a total of six hours over seven days. I'm still a zombie, but now I'm one of those modern-day fast zombies.

As for trust...I'll never trust anyone 100% again. But that's a good thing, because there will always be seemingly-good people out to **** you over, and now I'm more prepared for them than ever.

I don't plan on committing suicide (contemplated it, not too seriously but I wrote a note and called the hotline) so my only option is to survive. And to do that I've got to find the good in this total cluster****. Believe things will get better, force yourself to believe, and it's self-fulfilling prophecy.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:37 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: A positive thought for you

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Better? How? I see no better. I see only despair, sorrow, lonliness, etc.

How better? Do you really think you will ever trust again?

I do not mean this as an attack. Its just reality
Just wondering how long has it been since your D-Day?
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by NotDoneYet View Post
Twofaces,

I'm right there in the despair, sorrow, and loneliness right now. I still feel like a loser, worthless, all that. I've been in bed for two days straight, only getting up to eat and use the bathroom. When I say I'm alone, I mean alone - my wife was the only person I knew in this city (we moved across the country recently). I can't imagine it getting any worse.

I also can't imagine it staying this way forever. Most of us on TAM have a few decades left to live, and really what are the odds things will stay this ****ty? This is the bottom of the barrel here. The other day I had my first genuine laugh in four months - just that one moment made that day better than the last. I look at how I was in the first few days after D-Day, and I'm not kidding, staying in bed these last two days is an improvement. I didn't eat for a week, and I slept a total of six hours over seven days. I'm still a zombie, but now I'm one of those modern-day fast zombies.

As for trust...I'll never trust anyone 100% again. But that's a good thing, because there will always be seemingly-good people out to **** you over, and now I'm more prepared for them than ever.

I don't plan on committing suicide (contemplated it, not too seriously but I wrote a note and called the hotline) so my only option is to survive. And to do that I've got to find the good in this total cluster****. Believe things will get better, force yourself to believe, and it's self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm from 3rd world so for me it was not that difficult to move forward. I had couple of months of pain and I still have but I do laugh and I'm very resilient. I'm mainly working on fixing my own insecurities through posting on TAM. I found that it's the right time to look into finer details about who I am.

Last edited by John2012; 01-10-2013 at 01:02 PM.
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