I'm having a real hard time dealing with it - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-24-2013, 12:14 PM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Wow Dude. You are the definition of Beta(I'm not big into these terms but you almost come off as a stereotype..)

She thinks you are a joke and to be honest you are acting like one. Her OM had the gall to call you at your home to ask for her.

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He called the house phone pissed off and upset and was asking to talk to her. I hung up and called the Counselor to tell her what had just happen
What is this ? A primary school ? And to think you are a cop...You seriously need to find some balls.

Who is this OM? is he single?

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post #32 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-24-2013, 12:47 PM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Wow OM called HIM to get to her?

He must think you are biggest pvssy/cuckold on the face of this earth if he did that. And I'm imagining your wife shaes that view if she had the audacity to sneer at your attempts t get through to her.

How exactly are you hard to handle? So far all I've seen is acquiescence to her every want and a futile wish of things being different.

I understand that you want it one way, but its the other way and theres nothing you can do about it.

You need to man up. And screw when its convenient for her, kick her out and reclaim your stolen manhood.
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post #33 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-24-2013, 04:00 PM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

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Originally Posted by Hardtohandle View Post
01/24/13

Yesterday and today was/is another hard day. I gave her the divorce papers last friday. She has an appointment tuesday with her lawyer to look them over.

I just feel sad. Crying. Praying she will change her mind. Its painful. I need to work but I just can't put my mind into my work.

I don't cry in front of her. I keep a stiff upper lip.

Everyone keeps saying it will hit her once this other guy is out of her life. I don't think so, I don't see that anymore.

Someone said it best when they described this like grieving over a loved one that just died. Thats what I feel like.

I try to hate her, I try to get mad. But I just can't.

We don't talk at all when we are in the house together.

I just hate these roller coaster emotions. Its like I'm back to square one.

I just hope we can get this done fast enough and she can go so I can heal. I know seeing my kids go will kill me even more. Just thinking about it makes me cry.

I just feel like I'm in Limbo. My wife has someone and is all happy and I'm just slipping into a bottomless pit.

I just never want to feel like this again, it's too much.
Dear Hth,

Let's start by putting your situation in perspective. None of your children have died. You have not been diagnosed with terminal cancer. You do not live in an impoverished or oppressed nation with no hope for the future. Actually, despite your present difficulties, you have a life that billions of fellow human being would swap theirs for in a heartbeat if they could. So stop looking at this as the end of the world and start counting your blessings.

You are at the beginning of a new journey that will change your life. You can choose to look at that as "bad news" but it may also be "good news," depending on how you respond. If you take charge and start doing what you need to do, I can all but guarantee that you will end up with a much better life than you ever had before.

I'll describe in a minute the things you should do now, but let me first explain why you need to do them. Basically, your goal should be to make yourself into the best man you can be. If you do this, one of two things will happen (or maybe both): (1) you will attract desirable woman and eventually find one who appreciates you, loves you and wants to spend her life with you or (2) your WW will come out of her fog, realize what she is losing and desperately want you to take her back. You will regain your confidence and life will be fun again. You will make new friends, do many more fun things than you ever did before and be more successful professionally. Your children will respect you more. You will find life more satisfying and fulfilling than ever before. OK, I know this sounds like an infomercial for some wacky diet plan but, trust me, it's true.

What do you need to do? It's all about the three A's: appearance, attitude and actions.

Appearance

I put appearance first on the list because it's the easiest category of things you can do right now to improve your life.

There's an old saying that "appearance is everything." While this is a bit of an overstatement, it nevertheless holds a lot of truth. Human beings react to others' appearance -- and this is the important point -- the way people react to us affects us profoundly. It's no coincidence that good looking people generally have a better self-image: people treat them better so they feel better about themselves. Thus, our appearance is critical to our mental well-being.

The goal is to be as physically attractive as possible, to both men and woman, young and old, friends and foes. The more attractive you are, the better people will treat you -- all people. The better people treat you, the better you will feel about yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the more able you will be to make the other changes that you need to make in your life to be happy.

There are four aspects of attractiveness: health, physical fitness, dress and grooming. Let's take them in the reverse order.

Good grooming is the easist way of improving your attractiveness and showing others that you respect yourself. I assume you know what a well-groomed man looks like (good haircut, shaved, teeth brushed, nails clean, etc.). Make this the first thing you do everyday so that everybody (including your WW and children) always see you in the best light.

Dress is also important. You don't have to look like a million bucks but you should look good. That means wearing stylish clothes that project the proper image. Again, you need to dress well for all occasions, even if you're just kicking around the house. Your WW, your children, your family and friends and even strangers need to see you as a well-dressed man at all times.

Physical fitness is important because a lean, muscular guy gets more respect from everybody, and the respect of others translates into more self-respect. Being physically fit isn't hard, but it does require self-discipline, effort and consistency. Lay off the booze, eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep. These things may be hard right now but, if you really try, they will become easier over time and the rewards will be amazing.

Finally, health. If you have any health problems, now is the time to address them. Sick people are just not attractive, nor do they have the strength and stamina to make improvements in their lives.

Attitude

I know what you are going through is playing havoc with your emotions and this will continue for quite some time. But, as human beings, we all have the ability to put on a face to mask our pain and disappointment. It's easier for some than for others but everybody can do it if they really want to. As Shakespeare said, "All the worlds a stage and all men and woman ... players." Attitude is all about acting the part that's right for you.

What should your attitude be right now? You should project personal integrity, warmth and kindness, emotional and physical strength and stoic indifference to your personal problems. I know, you don't feel like this but, trust me, if you play the part, your feelings will actually change.

Your WW should see a man whose attitude says,

"I'm disappointed with what you've done but I understand that there is nothing more I can do to win you back so I'm going to get on with my life. I don't hate you for this and I even understand that I failed you in some ways. But you're the one that decided to cheat and, in the end, you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. I wish to get along with you for the sake of our children, whom we both love. But I will not let what you've done prevent or what you do in the future me from being happy. If you need something from me, I will give it to you if I can, but not at the expense of my own needs. I wish you happiness and hope that you wish the same for me."

Your children should see man whose attitude says,

"I love you very much and will always be here for you. I am sad about what has happened between your mother and me but I will not let that affect in any way how I treat you. I still respect your mother and want her to be a part of your lives. I will do what I can to comfort you but I will also expect you to make good decisions and act appropriately at all times. I am and always will be your father and you are and always will be my children, and there is no power on earth that can ever change that. You can trust and rely on me.'

Your family, friends and colleagues should see a man whose attitude says,

"My wife has dishonored her marriage vows and shown no remorse despite my attempts to win her back. Therefore, I have no choice but to divorce her and get on with my life. I will continue to be a good father to my children. I will also continue to meet my professional and personal obligations. I am strong and dependable and will get through this just fine. I am confident that, eventually, I will be happy again. While I am naturally disappointed with what has happened, I am at peace with myself and the world."

And, most importantly, you should see a man whose attitude says,

"I can deal with the pain this has caused me because I must for the sake of my children and, most importantly, for myself. I may cry from time to time but I will do it in private. I may get angry at times but I will never let my anger show. I am unsure of the future but I will move forward in confidence because I have already proved to myself that I can face up to life's challenges and overcome adversity. I will do my best to treat others, even my WW, in the way that I wish to be treated. I will always try to act in a way that I can look myself in the mirror in the morning and say, I did my best no matter what adversity life threw at me. If I make a mistake or fail in any way, I will admit it, learn from it, pick myself up and do better the next time. I will live my life, grateful for what I have and not complaining about what I don't. I will be the best man I can be, not only for myself but for all the people who love and depend on me."

This is the attitude that you need to project to the world. At first, it will be hard and you will slip up often. But you'll get better at it and, eventually, it will become easier. Why? Because eventually you will begin to believe it and your attitude really will change.

Here's a tip. If you're ever in a quandary over how to deal with a situation, think about an actor or two who played roles you really admire. For an old guy like me, it's John Wayne (the strong, silent type) and Cary Grant (the devil-may-care sophisticate). When I'm in a situation and am not sure what my attitude should be, I ask myself how they would they have reacted. It's amazing how quickly it helps you figure things out.

Here's another tip. Smile a lot. A smile denotes happiness and contentment. People react positively to a smile. And a smile can disarm many a difficult situation.

Actions

Sorry, but I need to give you another adage: "Actions speak louder than words." No truer statement was ever uttered. It is not what we say but what we do that reveals our goals, values and character. I left this for last because it is the hardest part of our lives to change, precisely because our actions are a reflection of our goals, values and character. A dishonest person finds it difficult to be truthful, a self-centered person difficult to be kind to others, etc. Nevertheless, despite our failings, we can -- if we try -- begin to act in a manner that more closely resembles the person we want to be and, in the process, we can actually change ourselves. The thing to understand is that action proceeds change, not other way around. We don't start doing the right thing because we've changed, we begin to change when we start doing the right thing.

So, if for example we want to be happy, we have to do the things that happy people do. You're not happy right now, but nothing prevents you from doing the things that will make you happy. Perhaps it's spending more time with your children, or being more socially engaged with family and friends, or becoming active in community service or charitable work, or playing sports, or ... well, you know better than I what will make you happy. The point is to start doing the things you would do if you were happy with your life and, lo and behold, you will actually start to be happier.

As I said, this is the hardest of the three A's but, ultimately, this is what you are working toward. Appearance and attitude lay the groundwork for your return to a happy life, but you won't get there until your start to live a happy life. And there's no reason you can't start living it now, if only in a small way (taking baby steps at first).

Of course, do not lose sight of your two main responsibilities -- your children and your profession. Do the things a good father does -- spend time with your kids, do fun things and be patient with them. And be the best police officer you can be. Not only can you take enormous pride in your work -- I and I'm sure everybody on TAM admires you for it -- you will advance your career to the benefit of your children and the person who you eventually decide to share your life with.

This may sound like a daunting list of tasks but, if you think about it, you will realize that you've been doing most of it all your life. You just need to refocus and improve in the areas where you were a bit lacking. Having a conscious plan of improvement will help take your mind off your problems better than any drugs or counseling could do (although, if you need counseling, don't be afraid to get it). Don't just think about what you need to do, write it down, keep a list, check it from time to time to help yourself stay on track. When you've gotten comfortable with one goal, move on to another. Keep making progress. Don't just sit around thinking about your problems, do something about them.

It's your life. Begin to live it the way you want, starting with small improvements. As Lao-Tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take the first step today.
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post #34 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-25-2013, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

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Originally Posted by warlock07 View Post
Wow Dude. You are the definition of Beta(I'm not big into these terms but you almost come off as a stereotype..)

She thinks you are a joke and to be honest you are acting like one. Her OM had the gall to call you at your home to ask for her.



What is this ? A primary school ? And to think you are a cop...You seriously need to find some balls.

Who is this OM? is he single?
I don't know what beta means at the time I post this but I will look it up.

Trust me when I say if anyone makes even the slightest allegations against me I'm done at work. I'm close to a promotion and I will loose it if I get jammed up.

I understand this stuff is hard to swallow, if I was joe the plumber she could call the cops all she wants my boss wouldn't fire me or what not. But as they say we are set to a higher standard. My job wants to cover their ass as well. They will put me in a office with no windows counting paper for years or until they think its all okay. I've seen a guy for 5 years just sweeping floors. When I first met him I didn't even know he was a cop. I thought he was a civilian cleaner.

Legally I cannot throw her out. Again hello 911 my husband the cop threw me out of the house. End result they will toss me out and give her an order of protection to keep me away.

Unfortunately I have an elderly mother and a sick brother I help out, they live in that home as well. Its multifamily. I cannot afford rent and to pay the bills for that home. If it went that bad. I would have to retire and sell the home to protect my pension and not risk loosing the house. That in turn would force me to move away from my kids. Something I would hate and not want to do.

Sadly I have seen terrible things happen to guys going through this on my job. I have 23 years on this job and a perfect record. I want to keep it that way. Its the only thing I have that keeps me sane ATM.

The OM is single 53 year old man who has never been married or had kids. so there is nobody to out him to.

I believe in Karma. I truly do.

I don't cry in front of her. As I said we don't even talk. If we do I am civil and polite.

@ Carmen Ohio

Thank you.

I am listening to what people tell me.

Tuesday she will see her lawyer and we will see what issues we have. Hopefully we can both agree on something and she can move out. Not much else I can do atm.
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post #35 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-25-2013, 03:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

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Originally Posted by Kasler View Post
Wow OM called HIM to get to her?

He must think you are biggest pvssy/cuckold on the face of this earth if he did that. And I'm imagining your wife shaes that view if she had the audacity to sneer at your attempts t get through to her.

How exactly are you hard to handle? So far all I've seen is acquiescence to her every want and a futile wish of things being different.

I understand that you want it one way, but its the other way and theres nothing you can do about it.

You need to man up. And screw when its convenient for her, kick her out and reclaim your stolen manhood.
hard to handle as I in this is hard to handle for me.

I think I addressed your manhood concerns with my previous reply.
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post #36 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-25-2013, 03:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

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Originally Posted by martyc47 View Post
Ok. I read this a few days ago but didn't comment because it appeared you wanted the divorce and were ok with that resolution. At least that's what it seemed to me by the actions- resolved and enabling of a fast divorce without putting up much of a fight.
Now there's talk of wishing she would change her mind. So which is it? Because it least from what I've read I don't get the impression that anything has been done other than submitting to her wishes. She's leaving, gets the kids by default, "agreeable divorce" etc
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Okay in my state law wise. Since we agreed that she would be home with the kids and work part time. We made a life choice of me being the bread winner.

Lesson learned and big mistake. Hindsight is always 20/20.

What that means IF we or I wanted to fight this all out. I would have to pay 10k to 15k as a retainer TO HER LAWYER. The over all fight would cost about 25k to 30k for EACH LAWYER. So I would have to refinance the house to get the 60k minimum. The courts would then determine if my wife could pay the other 10k to 15k. Otherwise they will instruct me to pay it.

When it is all said and done with the refinance and all the stuff I end up having to give her I would be in the red bill wise. So I will have to sell the home and move away. I have a mother and sick brother that reside in another apartment I care for.

End result it would force me to move out of state away from my kids. I would have to up and retire from my job as well. End result a complete life change for everyone. On top of all of this the worst thing is now I am away from my kids. I would be that guy that sees his kids during the summer school vacations. I don't want that one bit.

Financially I have to walk a fine line here.

I understand she has to leave. I understand that IF she came back right now and I accepted her that NOTHING would be fixed.

But I can't help being upset that my life went down this road.

I can't help my feeling for her. She wasn't bad all of the 19 years we were together.

She went from a very caring women to this and throws you off because I never seen her like this.

I just about spent half my life with her its not that easy at least for me to just let go over a matter of weeks. I'm an emotional guy. I wear my heart on my sleeve, everyone knows it. Its a good thing and its a bad thing.
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post #37 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-25-2013, 04:22 PM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

I am sorry you are forced into such a horrible situation. Unfortunately, this is an all too common story in police families. Yes, you made serious mistakes, but that does not justify her cheating. You need to understand the wife you married, loved and cherished has died. The shell of a woman that is still living in your home taking every advantage of you is a horrible, selfish alien being.

Why are you letting her walk away from all the debt? She has an excellent job, the children are old enough she should be able to work while they are in school.

Will you pursue 50/50 custody? Your sons need you in their lives, now more than ever. The next ten years will shape their entire adult lives, including their relationships, marriages and their children. Hopefully the relationship with the POSOM will crash & burn soon, so he doesn't have too much influence on your sons. Please protect yourself, having a VAR on you at all times would be a good start.
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post #38 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-25-2013, 04:31 PM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Hardtohandle:
It sucks big hairyballs. You seem to have thought all of it through and your decisions make sense to me. I'm not a big fan of hoping for karma - there's too many examples in history of the lack of karma. At least on this Earth.

Still, you have a future. One you didn't expect. One you were not prepared for. But since it is in the cards. Then make the best of it. Detach from her. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Aunt Ava said it. The woman you once knew, shared dreams with, raised a family with, loved... that woman is gone, gone... gone.

The creature that looks like your wife is not the one you married. Let her go. The OM isn't married? I hope they do marry. They deserve each other. That's the best kind of "karma" you can expect.

A todos les llega su momento de gloria.
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post #39 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-25-2013, 05:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

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Originally Posted by Aunt Ava View Post
I am sorry you are forced into such a horrible situation. Unfortunately, this is an all too common story in police families. Yes, you made serious mistakes, but that does not justify her cheating. You need to understand the wife you married, loved and cherished has died. The shell of a woman that is still living in your home taking every advantage of you is a horrible, selfish alien being.

Why are you letting her walk away from all the debt? She has an excellent job, the children are old enough she should be able to work while they are in school.

Will you pursue 50/50 custody? Your sons need you in their lives, now more than ever. The next ten years will shape their entire adult lives, including their relationships, marriages and their children. Hopefully the relationship with the POSOM will crash & burn soon, so he doesn't have too much influence on your sons. Please protect yourself, having a VAR on you at all times would be a good start.
We did sit down and agree to what we both wanted. We both have agreed to equal and joint custody, but the kids will be with her.

The kids have no clue what she did and they love their mother. If asked they would want to go with mom. I am the disciplinarian in the home so I'm the bad guy or at least the one that yells. I explained to my oldest ( 12 years old ) why I was a bit off these past few months. I explained I love him and I love his mother.

My wife did say when we told the kids that she didn't love me anymore and we were getting a divorce. So she did take the blame. I didn't see any sense in telling the kids the truth. One I don't think they would understand and Two I don't think they need to know.

There is more but I will keep tight lipped until Tuesday comes and goes.
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post #40 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-26-2013, 01:29 AM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Heres some advice from someone with experience......THROW HER ASS OUT AND FILE FOR DIVORCE! Take everything you can, file for 59/50 custody . DO IT AND FORGET HER, SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. SELF RESPECT OR DIGNITY.
End of sermon / rant.....
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post #41 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-26-2013, 11:09 PM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Just do what you have to my man.

I see the corner she has you in.

You may not believe this but, as a reformed criminal reprobate, I feel for you.
Best wishes Bro.
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post #42 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 10:11 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

01/27/13 Sunday

I keep coming back and reading for many reasons. To understand, to accept and deal with what is going on.

Something carmen ohio said stuck with me

"
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmen ohio
I"I'm disappointed with what you've done but I understand that there is nothing more I can do to win you back so I'm going to get on with my life. I don't hate you for this and I even understand that I failed you in some ways. But you're the one that decided to cheat and, in the end, you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. I wish to get along with you for the sake of our children, whom we both love. But I will not let what you've done prevent or what you do in the future me from being happy. If you need something from me, I will give it to you if I can, but not at the expense of my own needs. I wish you happiness and hope that you wish the same for me."
I've come to the very simple realization that my wife is my kryptonite.

I been fortunate to have very supportive friends. They try to take me out on the weekends though they are married with lives of their own.

Yesterday I had 3 friends looking to take me out or asking if I stay the night at their house just to get out of my house.

When I go out I have no issues. I see women, I'm confident. I'm no fashion model, but I'm no fool. I'm 6'3" with a flat stomach ( due to divorce diet ) and I'm not a shy guy. Of course having the other guy be the wing man is great as well.

But the next day when I see her my chest aches and my chest tightens up.

She has lost some weight herself, not that see was heavy in the first place and honestly for 48 years old she is very good looking. Even my friends say or admit that is one issue which is hard to deal with.

Again I know it doesn't mean anything. But it doesn't help.

I clearly understand she needs to Go. I know it is the only absolute way I can heal.

Right now I go nuts with wondering where she is when I know she should have been home 40 minutes ago. Its retarded and I know.

I don't give her the satisfaction of seeing any of these emotions.

When I go out she has zero clue who I am with.

We did get into a slight argument yesterday.

One statement she said to me was she told her close relatives what had happen and admitted she was wrong and that their is nothing she can do about how she feels now. She doesn't love me and she is sorry.

I do notice she seems to express that a lot. That seems to be her mantra to me. I don't love you, I'm sorry.

I expressed to her yesterday calmly that I understand what transpired now is out of my hands. But what is upsetting me is that she didn't look to fix this when she was suppose to.

My brother over heard her conversation with a cousin in which she was expressing she has to be true to herself.

I used that when talking to her and I said when you were suppose to be true to yourself was when it mattered. When you where fighting with some issues you failed to express or deal with. That she should have looked ahead and seen that our 19 year relationship, our 14 year marriage and our 2 kids were worth fighting for.

That if she would have tried back when it mattered that no one could fault her if it never worked out. Because she tried.

But she never tried and that it has nothing to do with not loving me. Because if it was as simple as that, I said you could have just left. But the reality is you found someone else and did what you did and then dragged me around for some unknown reason that you can't even explain to me and along the way you did other insensitive things to me as if I was some piece of garbage or some ogre that abused you.

The reality is you had an affair and fell in love with someone else. Because if it was just the issue of not loving me you could have just left. But its not, you needed another branch to hold onto before of letting go of the other, like a monkey swinging in tree.

I told her that is what I'm angry about. That you never tried or felt this was worth giving a try.

She got upset when I said she was selfish and didn't think about the kids. She got upset over that and I understand why.

But simply explained, ask the kids if they want us to get divorced. Ask the kids if they want to move out.

I explained to her that all of that is what I'm upset over. I've accepted the reality of what is going on now. But regardless I'm mad over this issue.

But in the end I told her I love her because she is the mother of our kids and I will get over this. But I need time to calm down and I need her to go so I can heal.

She understood.

I hope that Tuesday doesn't bring a bunch of issues. I'm getting the impression that is won't. I know she needs this money to get out and I want to get this done so the money can be transferred to her ASAP. Waiting another 3 or 4 weeks is going to be painful.

Another thing I am dreading is Valentines day.

She works until 3-7 on Weds. I plan on working late just not to be around. But I know my mother and brother will get upset if she decides to come home late that day. EG she decides to go out with this guy until 9 or something.

I'm might just bring it up in a calm manner in the next week to make it clear what I would hope she does on that day to make things easier for everyone. I just don't want a fight to break out between her and my mother or brother. They are keeping tight lipped and polite, but I know its wearing on them and they are upset seeing me get upset.
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post #43 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 11:16 AM
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

You should stop talking to her about your marriage, what worked, what didn't work, who tried what, etc and start moving on.
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post #44 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 11:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasel View Post
You should stop talking to her about your marriage, what worked, what didn't work, who tried what, etc and start moving on.
I know your right. My friend last night was saying the same thing.

He was telling me I'm talking to someone who care less at this point and I should do the same. We talked about her and some other issues. I have to say he was making me see she was broken from the beginning and I just didn't see it.

There are other issues with her that I think will never make her happy no matter who she is with.

I also see she is always looking to run away to someone older and broken or has some sort of issues of their own.

From speaking to her brother years ago, I see some of these issues stem from her family. I know her only older brother went to therapy on his own because of family issues for a long time.

The one thing I am happy about is NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE can tell me I didn't try. There isn't anything I wouldn't have done to fix this. I would have literally spent the rest of my life making sure we were happy for the sake of her and my kids.

I'm just sorry she didn't see it that way.

Last edited by Hardtohandle; 01-27-2013 at 11:53 AM.
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post #45 of 773 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
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Location: The Big City
Posts: 1,488
Re: I'm having a real hard time dealing with it

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldWolf57 View Post
Just do what you have to my man.

I see the corner she has you in.

You may not believe this but, as a reformed criminal reprobate, I feel for you.
Best wishes Bro.
Dude after 23 years on this job I have to say **** happens and people make mistakes.

Its all about if you learn from your mistakes.

I honestly appreciate you even having telling me that.

Thank you.
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