I'm having a real hard time dealing with it
Will try to make it short as possible.
Married 14 years, dated 5 years. 2 boys 12 and 8.
My vice was online gaming. At the end I pretty much ate at the computer. I know I ****ed up. It was eating my wife and she snapped and she had an affair and now is leaving me.
Some extra back story.
After my first child was 1 years old I caught her intending on meeting someone she spoke with online. She never did it and we went to half ass Counseling. End result over time it was swept under the rug.
Years later ( about 6 years ago )I caught her emailing her old boyfriend she broke up with to be with me. He was a drug addict and had some other issues. End result he seems he cleaned himself up and is now a counselor in another state. She admitted she was fishing to hook up. I got pissed and she told me she was going to a counselor, I went with her.
It was one of the best things we did. The counselor is good and on point. My friends puts it best when he says it seemed as if we came out of that issue stronger. I really felt the same way.
Unfortunately I ended up becoming more of a third son then a husband. I work 44 hours a week and put in about 35 to 40 hours OT a month. My wife works part time and deals with the rest. Taking the kids to school, picking them up, cooking, ETC..
End result she meet someone in June who basically expressed and interest and she accepted to talk to him via phone and text message. Since June they meet twice and had sex.
We tried Counseling since October. Unfortunately she had second phone to talk to him and when I caught her with that, she agreed at a Counseling session to toss the phone away and not to talk to him again, she also expressed this to him by calling him up during our session. I come to discover that about 2 days later she reached out to him again and has been in contact with him since then.
I know she has problem communicating from the last incident. And I admittingly have or had a short fuse and flew off the handle too fast. So she couldn't tell me to get off the computer and acted out this way. She admits she is 1000% wrong for what she did.
Her simple comment is she does not love me anymore.
What also is killing me is this guy is calling her and texting her when I am home. Even though I expressed how painful it is to me and also having the Counselor telling her that he or she should not be doing that, It still goes on.
On one hand I am trying to get the divorce papers done fast enough so she can get out and on the other hand I don't want her to go.
I know what she is doing now is really crappy, but I know the good person she is as well.
I cry at work, I go home and cry in private. I pretty much just about begged her to reconsider.
I'm just having a hard time coping with this. I know it will get better and I understand it will take time, but I just love her to death and we have been so much together.
I stood at my door this morning and just listened to the silence in the house and it just hit me that its going to be just like that every morning and evening I come home when she is gone with the kids. It really hard to handle.
I would do anything to fix this and keep my family together.