Is it wrong to look up your ex emotional affair person?
My husband had EA withan old school mate about a year and a half ago.
When I first found out about it, he was very reluctant to give her up but when we got back together he deleted everything from her including all her contact details.
She contacted him about 6 months after we had got back together via email (she wanted to know if his contact details were still the same) and he emailed her back saying if she was still with her fiancÚ then not to hurt and not to contact him again as he is trying to move on and be happy with what you have.
My husband told me he doesn't think of her anymore and it makes him sick if I talk about what happened.
So, last week when I was on our computer checking FB, I was typing in the web address and her name came up in the address bar (he had been searching for her via google, FB & a few different search engines) I felt my heart sink... I confronted him straight away, which was hard cause we were already having issues. At first he looked confussed and asked why was I searching her? then he denied it was him looking her up, then later admitted to searching for her and said it was no big deal that he does it all the time. When I asked him why, he said he didn't know and that he was just curious... I asked him if he would search for her infount of me he answered, probably if we were both seeing if she was writing anything about us, but in another conversation he admitted it was wrong to look her up and he is aware that it has broken my trust even further.
I don't know what to think anymore, for so long he has tried to convince me that Im not his second choise and that he only wants and loves me, but if so why would he be looking her up, not just on FB but on google and other social networks?
He said in his defense, 'if I really wanted to get in contact with her I could go through my old emails from work and get back her email & mobile number. I don't want to do that"
So, what are your thoughts? Has anyone gone through something similar or know anyone who has?
I'd like to hear all advice/opinions, good and bad?
(if you want further history & information, I have written 2 other posts. 1 in General Discussions and 1 in coping with fidelity.
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