Seven year itch
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Seven year itch

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Like Tree69Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-13-2013, 03:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
Mic
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: SA
Posts: 3
Default Seven year itch

Never thought I would be posting messages (for that matter never thought I would be visiting these websites).
I have been married for 7 years now, have 2 boys (2 and 4yrs), I am hard working and provided my wife and family with what I think is a fantastic life. We travel abroad as a family at least once a year, have a beautiful home, kids in a good school and a wife who is intellligent non practising attorney.
My "punishment" for what I have created (with my wife) is infilidaty on her part. A real kick in the teeth!
She went out with some girfriends, had some prick take her phone out her hand (how she allowed that I dont know). He dialed his number off her phone and so the texting ensued.
The very next day, I caught her texting him (on the evening of our sons 2nd birthday), naturally I lost it and she claimed to understand I was angry and said it was nothing and would cease all correspondance.
Her behavoiur over the following weeks became odd (not to mention she was actually being abnormally affectionate towards me), and I started checking her phone, computer etc. (I thought I was going CRAZY!) I found some correspondance on her computer (a search for airline tickets to visit the prick). I then found another phone in her handbag (I pay her cell phone so I would naturally be able to check her account - so she bought a pay as you go sim card and phone). I called her and told her I knew something was going on and it was time for her to come clean. I was told I was psychotic and that nothing was going on. He sms'd her the next day on the phone which I found while I was questioning her about the reason for the phone saying "any chance I can see you today, we can run into the forrest and hide somewhere". This guy is a real piece of work.
So 10 days before Xmas she was caught again, I was asked not to leave and that we needed counciling. Reluctantly, I agreed.
The first thing the councilor said to her was that if it was not over with the prick that we would all be wasting our time and money. She was adamant that it ended. I found out partly by bluffing and partly her telling me that he flew in to see her, he checked into a hotel and she had seen him 3 times in the 4 nights he was here (so I am told anyway). I am told they lay on the bed fully clothed and only kissed.
After 2 councilling sessions, 1 day before new years, I found more email correspondance between her and the prick, this time on a new gmail account she created. They had alyce facebook accounts, but she had deleted all the correspondance baring that day. The correspondance included how they loved each other, missed each other etc.
I moved out for the week, we went to the councillor twice and she is not remorseful, she tells of how being a stay at home mom has caused a lot of what she has/is doing. She tells me she loves me, but really I think she just likes the fact that I provide and give her what she has.
Currently I am back home, but barely talk to her.
Dont know how the hell I got here.....
Mic is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-13-2013, 04:25 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 32
Default Re: Seven year itch

This is awful,so sorry for you and what your going through.Cheaters suck and they only think of themselves at the time.Your wife is lying to you,if she loved you she would've admitted her mistake and cut off all correspondence with this guy,the fact she set up an alyce FB account and is maintaining contact says that she is willing to hurt you furthermore and doesn't want to salvage your marriage.

Pick yourself up and move on!!!and don't blame yourself what a load of crap about being a stay at home mum has caused this!!!Load of bull!!
katieaudain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 04:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,449
Default Re: Seven year itch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mic View Post
Never thought I would be posting messages (for that matter never thought I would be visiting these websites).
I have been married for 7 years now, have 2 boys (2 and 4yrs), I am hard working and provided my wife and family with what I think is a fantastic life. We travel abroad as a family at least once a year, have a beautiful home, kids in a good school and a wife who is intellligent non practising attorney.

My "punishment" for what I have created (with my wife) is infilidaty on her part. A real kick in the teeth!

She went out with some girfriends, had some prick take her phone out her hand (how she allowed that I dont know). He dialed his number off her phone and so the texting ensued. The very next day, I caught her texting him It's not likely that "he pulled the phone out of her hand" and that you caught them "the next day. What most likely happened is that she met him, gave him her number, and had been carrying on with him for a while before you caught her."(on the evening of our sons 2nd birthday), naturally I lost it and she claimed to understand I was angry and said it was nothing and would cease all correspondance.

Her behavoiur over the following weeks became odd (not to mention she was actually being abnormally affectionate towards me), and I started checking her phone, computer etc. (I thought I was going CRAZY!) I found some correspondance on her computer (a search for airline tickets to visit the prick). I then found another phone in her handbag (I pay her cell phone so I would naturally be able to check her account - so she bought a pay as you go sim card and phone). Again, it sounds unlikely that all this escalated over a few weeks. I suspect it was going on much longer.

I called her and told her I knew something was going on and it was time for her to come clean. I was told I was psychotic and that nothing was going on. He sms'd her the next day on the phone which I found while I was questioning her about the reason for the phone saying "any chance I can see you today, we can run into the forrest and hide somewhere". This guy is a real piece of work.

So 10 days before Xmas she was caught again, I was asked not to leave and that we needed counciling. Reluctantly, I agreed.
The first thing the councilor said to her was that if it was not over with the prick that we would all be wasting our time and money. She was adamant that it ended. I found out partly by bluffing and partly her telling me that he flew in to see her, he checked into a hotel and she had seen him 3 times in the 4 nights he was here (so I am told anyway). I am told they lay on the bed fully clothed and only kissed. Please tell me that you don't believe that there is even the slightest possibility that they only kissed.

After 2 councilling sessions, 1 day before new years, I found more email correspondance between her and the prick, this time on a new gmail account she created. They had alyce facebook accounts, but she had deleted all the correspondance baring that day. The correspondance included how they loved each other, missed each other etc.

I moved out for the weekNext time, you stay put and let her move out., we went to the councillor twice and she is not remorseful, she tells of how being a stay at home mom has caused a lot of what she has/is doing. She tells me she loves me, but really I think she just likes the fact that I provide and give her what she has.
Currently I am back home, but barely talk to her.
Dont know how the hell I got here.....
Well, you've given her plenty of chances to end it, and she hasn't.

And the consequences to her are? She gets to continue the same lifestyle? She gets to continue the affair? You get to be upset about it? WHAT REASON DOES SHE HAVE TO STOP?

If it weren't for the kids, I would say just kick her to the curb.

Cheaters are liars. Ignore everything your wife says, unless it is supported by her actions.

I posted this in another thread, but I think it applies to you, too.

When you confronted your wife originally about this situation, she immediately and sincerely pledged to work on the marriage and then she proceeded to not work on the marriage one little bit.

Your marriage MAY be salvageable. It may not.

Your situation is very common. There always are a few variables, but nothing significantly different. Cheaters follow a very predictable script. Betrayed spouses also follow the script. The plot outline could take one of a few courses, like bad TV movies. You and your wife both are following the script to a T.

Your wife is "fence-sitting" and "eating cake." She is "in love" with the other man. This will run its course on its own. In about a year, or two, maybe at longest three. That's how long it takes to get over the "in love" feeling, which eventually turns into the kind of love you and your wife have for each other, the more mature settled kind of love, not the exciting, not-knowing-what's-going-to-happen-next, butterfly-in-the-stomach love. After the "in love" feeling wears off, your wife may stay with the other man out of habit for a year or a few more. Then she will contact you via Facebook, remembering only the good times, and want to reunite with you. If she doesn't meet anyone else in between. So, if you follow your current course, you might have your wife back in 7-10 years or so.

Your wife wants the safety of you at home and the excitement of her new lover. She's not going to give up either unless you force her to (or unless the other man gets hit by a bus, struck by lightning, finds someone else, or otherwise dumps her).

You can wait until hell freezes over and it still won't be enough time for your wife to decide to stay with you. The only way you are going to save your marriage is to end the affair. That is the first step and no guarantee that you can save your marriage.

Your wife is "in love" with the other man, which means she is infatuated, gets butterflies in the stomach, like a teenager with a crush. Her "affair" with the other man is pure fantasy-land; none of the harsh realities of life intrudes. In her affair with him, she does not have to pick up his dirty underwear off the floor, do laundry, cook, clean, or deal with any of life's unpleasantness. With him, there is only I love you's, sex, and talk of living in a perfect fantasy world together. Of course, no such perfect fantasy world awaits your wife, and somewhere deep down she knows that, but a big part of her wants to believe in that fantasy, just like you want to believe that she will come to her senses on her own. She won't.

Right now, she likes the fact that she can still have her other man knowing you will be there as a backup in case it falls through. She is sitting on the fence eating cake.

There is a reason she hasn't left you for him - what is it? The kids? The job? Other man's hesitance to leave his wife and family? If she is in love with him and they are soulmates destined to be together, why hasn't she left you for him yet?

Your first step is to talk to your wife. Get her alone without the kids around. Tell her that you love her and are sorry for whatever legitimate gripes she has against you, that you will improve yourself and improve your marriage, that you feel your marriage will be better than ever if you try to reconcile. Next, tell her that although you feel this way, you cannot go on this way any longer as she continues to lie to you and continue her affair. Give her one day to decide whether she wants to continue in the marriage with you or get divorced. Tell her no decision means she chooses other man. Tell her you took vows together, you've been married many years, have had children together, and have been through life's ups and downs together and you don't plan on waiting any longer as her "backup plan" while she continues her affair with the other man.

If your wife does choose to commit to the marriage, she agrees to:

1. Give up all contact with the other man now and forever.

2. Handwrite a no contact letter to the other man. The letter states that she doesn't want to ever talk to him again, if he contacts her again, she will file harassment charges against him. It is handwritten, contains no terms of endearment, starts simply with his name, and ends with "signed" and your wife's name. It does not contain any "I'm sorry this didn't work out" or "I will always remember you fondly" or anything of the sort. Just that the affair is over and there is to be no contact forevermore.

3. Tell you the full truth of her affair. If the story does not make sense, she will take a polygraph to verify the details.

4. Give you complete transparency of all her communication devices and accounts, all passwords, you get to check whenever you feel like. Agrees to let you know where she is at all times.

If she can't agree to this, file for divorce. Don't threaten it, just do it.

Divorce is a long process. You can always stop it if your wife comes to her senses. If not, you save yourself months and months of pain and unhappiness, which ends in a bad result anyway.

If your wife does not want to meet your conditions and work on the marriage, start moving on with your life. Stop engaging with her as your wife, and start engaging with her as your soon-to-be-ex-wife. Be pleasant, but not romantic. Talk to her only as needed to discuss the divorce settlement. If you are financing her affair in any way, stop. Definitely don't pay for any means she uses to cheat on you.

Also, if she doesn't choose to re-commit to the marriage right away, expose the affair to the other man's family and friends. Expose the affair to you and your wife's family and friends. Let them know the other man's name and ask for their support in saving your family and your marriage. Don't tell your wife you are going to do this, just do it.

If you want to save your marriage, you have to be willing to lose it. You cannot "nice" your wife out of her affair.

The longer you allow this to go on, the more respect your wife is losing for you. She sees a weak-willed man who is not willing to stand up for himself. When she sees the other man, she sees a strong man who goes after what he wants and doesn't stop until he gets it. Other man may be belittling you to your wife every chance he gets. And if so she likely is listening to it and not disputing it. If the situation were reversed, do you think she would tolerate it? Why are you willing to put up with her cheating on you?

If your wife does agree, buy a few voice-activated recorders and some heavy-duty velcro. Place one under the front seat of her car and another in the house where she is likely to use the phone when you are not around. Within a week you should be able to see if she's serious about ending contact with other man. Keylog the computer if you can. You can't go on snooping and spying and monitoring for the rest of your life, but for the immediate future, given your wife's history of lying, you must verify her honesty in order to rebuild trust. As time passes and you find nothing, then you can stop or greatly reduce the monitoring of her communication devices and accounts and get rid of the voice-activated recorders.
Will_Kane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 04:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Chaparral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9,030
Default Re: Seven year itch

Have you told her parents that your marriage is hanging on by thread because she has a boyfriend? How far away do the parents live?
Chaparral is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 04:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,449
Default Re: Seven year itch

Another point of view:

I wish I could claim credit for this masterpiece but I can't. It belongs to very wise member from another website. It should be etched in the minds of every man and woman who has been the victim on infidelity.

Just Let Them Go

The end result?

The end result is to respect yourself in the end,
let go of the people that don't value you or respect you.

That is the end result.

The quickest way to get a cheating spouse back is to let them go with a smile on your face wishing them the best in life and hoping that everything works out in their relationship with their affair partner.

Seriously, the quickest way to get them back.

Nothing else works better or quicker.

Let them go.

Agree with them and their feelings,
"you should be with the OM, I hope he makes you happy, good bye"

Wouldn't that be true love?

If you really loved your spouse,
and wanted them to have what they really want in life which is the other person they're in love with,
wouldn't letting them go be the approach if you really love them?

Why focus on the affair or the drama associated with it?
Just let them go. Give them their freedom.

You can take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror everyday and improve yourself but do it for you, not for someone else, the changes will never stick when it's done for someone else, do it for your benefit and you will probably make those changes last much longer if not indefinitely - because it's for your benefit and you realize the importance and value in that benefit because YOU are involved.

I will never tell someone to change to entice a WAW back when she's been cheating on him. I don't care how bad a marriage, there is never an excuse for cheating. That is a personal decision that someone makes to cheat on their spouse. If a marriage is really bad, leave, get a divorce, speak up to your spouse and tell them flat out "this marriage sucks and if things don't change I'm going to leave you and find someone better" and if things don't improve, leave that person.

But cheating, no excuses.

Think about cheating.
A wayward spouse who cheats on their spouse goes behind their back, secretly, telling lies, feeling guilty, getting angry at their spouse for getting in the way of their fantasies but never owning up to their actions, never admitting what they're doing. If a person who cheats on their spouse felt justified in their actions, why hide and go behind their spouses backs when they start cheating, why lie, why make up excuses about late nights at work and going to a friends place and sleeping over because they drank too much and any other such nonsense?

Deep down, the cheating spouse knows there is something inherently wrong with their actions otherwise they wouldn't lie about their actions and hide what they're doing.

Fighting the affair? For what reason?
To compete with the OM or OW for your spouse?
What message does that communicate to your wayward spouse?
They have lots of value and you have none because now you have to compete with another person for their love? Competing with your wayward spouse's affair partner never works, it just prolongs an ugly drama filled process.

And for your last point,
The easiest way to show you will not tolerate cheating in your relationship is to let that person go. That is the easiest and most effective way to show this.

"Look wife/husband, I won't be in an open relationship with you, I won't give you X number of days, weeks, months to make your mind, if you really feel like you need to sit on the fence on this decision and can't decide between your affair partner and me well I will make the decision for you, you can be with them because I'm no longer an option. I love you and wish you a good life with them and hope it works out for you because it didn't work out for us. Now the best thing we can do for each other is to make this process as graceful and peaceful as possible for us and our children, I'll contact a lawyer/mediator and get started on the process of our legal separation/divorce."

You give them what they want.
You don't fight them on this issue.
You agree with their feelings,
they want to be with the other person, fine they should be with the other person, let them be with the other person.

You will never convince a person to change their feelings with your arguments and logic. You can not find one member on this website in a situation where they are dealing with infidelity where they got their spouse to change their mind about how they feel about their affair partner.

You can't say "don't love them, love me instead",
you can't say "look at me, I'm better in every way compared to your affair partner, pick me instead of them",
you can't say "you took marriage vows, you promised to love me"

I agree, you don't have to make it easy for your wayward spouse to have an affair, but when you let them go, "lovingly detach", you don't have to worry about making it easy for them. It's no longer your concern, they can have you or them but not both and not at the same time and since they've chosen to have an affair, they've made their choice, there is no profit in fighting that decision. Let them go and move on with your life, that is the quickest, easiest way to get them back.

You definitely don't support them financially and enable them, that would be weak, wussy, clingy, insecure behavior - something in you telling you that you need to support them financially while they're having an affair, hoping they'll realize how nice you are and come back to you.

Just let them go, have them move out or you move out and live a good life without them.
Will_Kane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 04:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Chaparral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9,030
Default Re: Seven year itch

I assume there are no more GNOs?
Chaparral is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 390
Default Re: Seven year itch

I agree with not fighting it anymore.

Is the new guy single?
Tigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:32 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 567
Default Re: Seven year itch

This hurt me when I came here but it is the truth - she's gone man - and you should let her go - my STBXW is no longer in my life - but I realize there was nothing I could do to get her back - the long painful process of trying to keep her would have hurt me in the long haul. Here's a question to ask yourself - IF you could get her back - would you take her back? Knowing she betrayed you, had sex with another dude (with all the acts that encompasses) - would you be able to get that out of your head? I would not be able to....knowing I was her plan B - also knowing she betrayed you in the worse way. She is not the person you thought she was - in life there are consequences - hers will be the loss of her family....sorry dude...you may say to yourself you want your family back - but you will see your family is gone anyway---take care.

One more thing - it is NOT seven year itch - there is no itch....7 year, 8, 9..if that were the case my ex had a 27 year itch....it is infidelity and betrayal plain and simple.
bigtone128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 06:58 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 6,092
Default Re: Seven year itch

Mic, my friend: I'm sorry to see you here, but you've definitely come to right place! We are all somewhat in the unenviable position of going through what you are to greater or lesser degrees.

Having read your story, I cannot make myself believe that this guy yanked her phone out of her hand. In fact, I don't think she even met him in the company of her girlfriends~ but it's much more believable, however, that she met him through Facebook(FB) or some other social medium.

"Seven Year Itch" is just a phrase. Some people reach it in 7 years, some in 15, and some in 1, or even less; pretty much on a "case-by-case" basis.

There seems to be a discernible absence of the truth here as I vastly see nothing more than smoke and mirrors. It really makes me wonder when the last time was that she actually was "truthful" with you. Having said that, she has created a track record from which she cannot escape, nor in my mind's eye, see that she can even begin to recapture the trust that you once had.

It's beyond "180 time" for you now! Additionally, you need to have her move out of your domicile, and you should keep the kids. After all, she seems to give greater creedence to pleasing her boyfriend than executing her marital and maternal interests, greatly provided she has any.

To do that, get to your attorney's office post haste and beat her to the punch in filing for Divorce and for temporary custody of your beautiful children. In her scurolous state of cheating and the resulting deception, you don't need her, and the kids certainly don't need her. I'm thinking the kids would be far better off with you even on your worst day, than they would with her on even her best one.

If you love those kids and yourself, you'll fastly extricate yourselves from that cesspool of deception. I wish you well, my friend! I'll continue to keep you all in my prayers!

P.S. And if you should find that her slimeball BF is married or encumbered, then he needs to "outed" by telling his wife or SO about it.

Also, I don't really know when the last time that you may have had sexual relations with her, but at least for your own peace of mind, get yourself tested for STD's immediately!
__________________
"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 01-13-2013 at 07:05 AM.
arbitrator is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 07:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7
Default Re: Seven year itch

This is awful,so sorry for you and what your going through.
mattokeol is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 07:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Carlton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 417
Default Re: Seven year itch

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigtone128 View Post
but you will see your family is gone anyway---take care.

One more thing - it is NOT seven year itch - there is no itch....7 year, 8, 9..if that were the case my ex had a 27 year itch....it is infidelity and betrayal plain and simple.
Yes, you now have a new family. One that doesn't include your lying cheating wife. I am with you man. I am six months out on my saga.

I am letting you know that all the advice given so far is spot on. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION.

Divorce is the only option. File now and see if she pulls her head out of her a$$. Or, file now and get your life on sooner. Either option, you have to file.

As far as the 7 year itch, mine was 9 year. Another name for the 7 year itch, mid life crisis or whatever you want to call it is this: depression, need for attention, poor communication, no coping skills, fear of conflict, or whatever you wanna call it.

File for divorce tomorrow. It will be the first step to the new you or to getting your wife back. I know someone said something about her wanting back in a few years, don't hold your breath. I only know of one person who had their wife beg them to come back, he said no. I know it happens, but don't count on it.

If you want to know my story, 10 years, two kids 4 and 8, wife lied and lied and lied. I gave her chance after chance after chance. 7 in total. She is willing to incur 10s of thousands of dollars in debt, cut the time she sees her kids in half, and completely destroy them mentally. This without so much as even lifting a finger to try and really reconcile. I pity her. Her real actions spoke louder than anything she ever said, and those actions said, "I don't want you anymore." Fine, she is getting all that she wanted.

Last edited by Carlton; 01-13-2013 at 07:37 AM.
Carlton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 07:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
walkonmars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: texas
Posts: 2,810
Default Re: Seven year itch

Married 7 years and there's this much turmoil? You've got a whole lot of trouble ahead of you.

Wait until you've been married 25 years. She'll be one of "those" women who have a varied sex life.
__________________
A todos les llega su momento de gloria.
180 http://www.network54.com/Forum/23319...891381/The+180
Wayward wife's sad storyhttp://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...ml#post1385676
walkonmars is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 09:20 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Emerald's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,912
Default Re: Seven year itch

I am so very sorry. Not only is she a disloyal wife, she is also a bad Mother. I mean no disrespect with that statement.

Good Mothers of babies don't cheat on their good hard-working husbands. You say she is an SAHM. Well not really. She is not staying home when she spends nights away in a hotel with an OM.

If you divorce, go for full custody. You do not want your children around this man or the next or the next........
Emerald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 09:57 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 8,901
Default Re: Seven year itch

Expose the affair to her family.
Find OM family and expose to hiswife,GF,parents.
Cut WW off and stop finacing her A.
Stop all joint accounts and credit cards.

All these tactics will make the affair as inconvienent and uncomfortable to continue. The goal is getting the OM completely out of the picture. Once the influence of the OM is gone then you guys can focus on the marriage.

The counselor was right until the OM is completely out of the picture, your marriage is screwed.

Its time to show some tough love...it suck having to do all the grocery shopping and taking care of all the crap your wife used to, but you have really cut any founding you are providing....this is also a great tactic in giving her a taste of things to come if she continues and she loses her marriage with a divorce.

Last edited by the guy; 01-13-2013 at 10:04 AM.
the guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 10:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 8,901
Default Re: Seven year itch

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenny1981 View Post
I don't believe that just because someone is a bad wife that makes them a bad mother. Sorry one has nothing to do with the other. I have been the bs and the WS in the past and my exh tells me on a weekly basis how I'm an excellent mom. Think about what your saying here, so every man and woman who cheats or has cheated us a bad parent? No sorry that's bull! They may not be setting the best example for their children but that doesn't make them a bad parent. Also in my state infidelity doesn't decide who gets the kids.
Posted via Mobile Device
So were are the kids when she is spending time with OM 3 out of the 4 days. So were are the kids when they are texting 100 times a day.

Not only has she cheated her husband out of a commited relationship , but she has the possiblity of destroying her kids family unit if she continues.

So ya she is a bad mother, her parenting is only half of what it could be if she didin't spend all her energy and her affair.

She is risking the family breaking up......how is that good parenting?
the guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
No more 7 year itch, it's called the 20 year itch! Left With 4.5 Going Through Divorce or Separation 3 10-04-2012 09:02 PM
Believe in the 7 Year Itch? marriedyoung General Relationship Discussion 8 01-15-2011 07:17 AM
7 year itch? L'sMom Considering Divorce or Separation 2 01-09-2011 02:57 PM
7 year itch?? terbears Going Through Divorce or Separation 7 11-08-2009 02:13 AM
Seven year itch? pattymarconi Considering Divorce or Separation 7 08-28-2008 03:27 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:53 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage