Re: My STBXW would like to change for better and as a BS, I would like to support her
Well...positives and negatives.
First, you sent her here.
So she can read what she needs to do...whether she is actually remorseful or not. She now has 'the penitent wife' script and you have corrupted your source of advice outside of her influence.
TAM is also a rough crowd. They call it tough love but some folks...they forget that second word. Occasionally I'm sure I'm just as guilty so there will be a lot of grief she will read. You too. Bear that in mind and keep some salt handy.
Those are the negatives.
Positively, she needs to work on boundaries. This is a good place to learn them.
For example, my wife got a new (male) supervisor. She told me instantly. I mentioned to her that she shouldn't lunch with him alone or attend any 'work' meetings which don't include the other shop personel.
She thought it odd, but I mentioned that while SHE might be as pure as the driven snow, HE might read it the wrong way and make her uncomfortable.
I could also ask about him regularly so she knows she's actually responsible to someone.
I, btw, was the EA wayward and I learned this through harsh experience. EA's always START with friendship.
So she needs to drop ALL her male friends. Period. Even the old guy. Even the gay guy. Yup. She needs girl friends or COUPLE friends, that's it.