My man is preparing himself to give me the 'truth'...I think.
A bit of background.
With my man 3 years and 3 months. Fell totally in love with him, cheating aside he is my perfect man. Very helpful, loving, funny, he deals perfectly with my feisty nature and I with his, and our sex life is magnificent. We get along brilliantly. He is my totally ideal man in every way....except that.
When we met he had not long been split from his 5 year relationship, she was seeing someone else and he dumped her. At least that was what he said. I found out later that she actually left him for this other man. But this lie was what made me give him the benefit of the doubt about his not cheating on me when I felt he was. That he dumped her due to her cheating. And he 'couldn't stand her'. That and the loving, though the love was hot and cold. In fact it was obvious he was cheating. But I was uneducated. I wish I had come here right at the beginning.
So, I finally threaten him with end of us and he comes clean. Kind of. That was a year and half in to our relationship and completely and utterly devastating. He had cheated with her 4 times over the 1st 9 months of our relationship.
He kept much stuff from me which became clear from his inability to talk with me about it all and all the things that did not add up. I have finished with him many times over it but keep going back due to the reasons above. I have had a bit of TT but never the whole truth. The level of compatibility is high. I don't think I would ever find anyone else who I love to be with and who I get along with as much as he and I. Another reason I keep going back. And he loves me. Does so much for me, loves to be with me, puts up with my stressful household and unruly children. Helps me with them. Cooks, cleans, makes me laugh all the time. We have a brilliant time together.
So, I have chipped away at him, begged and pleaded, so to speak (not literally), for the truth. He is very reluctant. He has always maintained in a wishy washy way that he has given me all. I have never believed it. The other night he finally admitted that there is more but he is worried that even once he gives me all of it he still won't be believed. I have said that it won't really matter as he is not believed right now. I will just have a bit more hurt to deal with that should have been done and dusted by now. And that if he is being truthful I will know. If he is not, I will also know. And I have told him that unless he is prepared to give me 100% then really he shouldn't give it me at all. I think we will be speaking tonight. Any advice please?
I would rather hear something constructive, I know I should just leave him, I know that he shouldn't be blindly believed. But does anyone have any insight or experience or advice?
Originally posted by TRy:
Question: How does a cheater say screw you? Answer: They say "trust me".
When the story does not make sense, that is because it is not true. When you get the truth, it all will make sense.
Last edited by Remains; 01-24-2013 at 05:17 PM.