Re: My husband is having a hard time choosing me or his affair
I'm a personal believer that a long term physical affair (meaning multiple encounters) is a deal breaker in a relationship. What I mean is that that there is no coming back from it; the betrayal and deceit runs too deep to allow you to maintain any self respect by staying in the relationship. However, everyone is different and I'm told that my feelings on this don't apply to the majority of people (who knows?). Anyway, another thing I have a problem with is a WS struggling to choose between an AP and their BS. I also have strong feelings about this. The only opportunity I will give my partner to choose between me and anyone else is the day I asked her to marry me. If she feels the need to choose again between me and another person after we are married, I'll make the choice simple for her: "You can have him, get the f**k out".
What I am saying is, don't allow your self to be a choice. You are not a "Plan B". If you really feel that he is still hooked on her, do the 180 and force him to take a stand, if that's what you want. Just don't be a doormat. I understand the need to stay together for financial reasons but that's just a horrible way to live if in the back of your mind you believe that you are your husband's second choice and that you can't trust him.
"If more people were judgmental, then maybe there would be less infidelity"
Last edited by The Middleman; 01-21-2013 at 10:20 AM.